Read an Excerpt

Chapter One

Explanation

For two hundred and forty-three days, a lonely sign hung on the front of the old school building.

On some days a child would come, look at the sign, then sadly walk away.

Or else a child would come, look at the sign, stand on her head, then sadly walk away.

Louis watched them come and go.

But he never said "Hi!" to them. He hid when they came.

It was his job to repair the school.

Louis used to be the yard teacher at Wayside School. He passed out the balls and played with the kids at recess and lunch.

When the school closed, the children were sent to other schools. Horrible schools. No two kids were sent to the same school.

Louis was afraid he'd cry if he talked to them.

But he worked hard. For two hundred and forty-two days, he pushed and pulled, shoveled and mopped. He never left the building. At night he slept on the couch in the teachers' lounge on the twelfth floor.

Some days it seemed hopeless. The worst part was the smell. He often had to run and stick his head out a window to get a breath of fresh air. But whenever he felt like quitting, he thought about those poor kids, stuck in those horrible schools, and he just worked harder.

And at last, two hundred and forty-three days later, the school was ready to open.

Well, almost ready. There was one little problem.

Suddenly, from somewhere inside the building, or maybe just inside his head, Louis heard a loud "moo."

He put his hands over his ears and said, "I don't hear it, I don't hear it, I don't hear it," until the mooing stopped.

He had scrubbed and polished every inch ofWayside School. There were no cows anywhere. He was sure of it! Still, every once in a while, he heard something go "moo." Or at least he thought he did.

He took the sign off the door.

But before you enter, you should know something about Wayside School.

Wayside School is a thirty-story building with one room on each floor, except there is no nineteenth story.

Mrs. Jewls teaches the class on the thirtieth story.

Miss Zarves teaches the class on the nineteenth story. There is no Miss Zarves.

Understand?

Good; explain it to me.

"Louis!" someone shouted.

He turned to see a red and blue overcoat running toward him. "Hi, Sharie!" he said. He couldn't see her face, but he knew she had to be somewhere inside the coat.

Sharie jumped into his arms.

"I bet you're glad to be back," said Louis.

"You bet!" said Sharie. "Now I can finally get some sleep!"

All around the playground, old friends were getting back together.

"Hi, old pal!" said John.

"Hey, good buddy," said Joe.

"Bebe!" yelled Calvin from one side of the playground

"Calvin!" shouted Bebe from the other.They ran and smashed into each other.

"Hi, Eric, good to see you," said Eric."Hey, good to see you too," said Eric.

"Oh, look. There's Eric!""Hi, Eric! Hi, Eric!""Hi, Eric.""Hi, Eric."

Even Kathy said hello to everybody.

"Hey, Big Ears!" she said to Myron as she slapped him on the back. "What's happ'nin', Smelly?" she asked Dameon. "You didn't take a bath for two hundred and forty-three days, did you? Hi, Allison. Did you get uglier while you were away, or were you always this ugly and I just forgot?"

"That's a nice sweater, Kathy," said Allison, who always tried to say something nice.

Kathy moved on to Terrence. "I'm sure glad to see you, Terrence!" she said.

"You are?" asked Terrence.

"Yes," said Kathy. "I thought you'd be in jail by now."

Todd came running across the playground.

"Hi, Todd!" shouted Sharie, right in Louis's ear.

Todd kept running.

"Hey, Todd!" called Jason. "Good to see you!

"Hi, Todd!" called Myron and D.J.

But Todd didn't answer. He just kept running until he reached the school building.

Then he kissed Wayside School.

Out of all the schools, Todd had been sent to the very worst one. It was awful! The first thing he had to do every morning was --

Wait a second. I don't have to tell you. You already know.

Todd was sent to your school.