Table of Contents
The Author of This Book Took My Virginity: A Foreword Shane Dawson xi
Introduction: Raised on Seinfeld xix
Gender-Reveal Party-Yes, It's a Fucking Thing 1
Peter Pan Fail 16
Water Cooler Conversations Are Real 32
My Denim Security Blanket 49
Fake It Till You Make It, or Until You Panic and Succumb to Zoloft 64
Baby Names vs. Binge Eating 81
My Gay Boyfriend 96
Wine and Nuts: My Night with a Hollywood Legend 115
The Wedding Circuit 132
Little Miss Bossy 151
Twelve Whiskeys and a Funeral 163
My Four-Legged Child 177
Selfish Care: A Guide to Staying Young at Heart and Looking Damn Good While Doing It 192
Conclusion: Don't Be Fooled-Everything You See Has a Filter on It 206
Epilogue: A Year Later 221
Acknowledgments 227
About the Author 231