Table of Contents
About the Stage Show x
Foreword xi
Introduction xiii
The End of Innocence
Confessions of a Teenage Mime Amy Rhodes 2
The Virgin Queen Waitress, NYC, 30 6
Puff the Un-Magic Dragon Nick Garfinkle 10
You Bet Your Ass "The Flying Buttress" 13
Self-Help
Caught Dick-Handed Zach Steel 18
A Cushion for the Pushini Michael J. Nice 25
Relationshit
How He Became My Number One by Taking Care of My Number Two Erin Pineda 30
My Fast Boyfriend Mary Lynn Rajskub 35
A Bedtime Story Laraine Newman 40
Hong Kong Bottom Jay Janson 45
Pie in the Sky Adria Tennor Blotta 51
Mob Mentality
Whore Next Door Whitney Cummings 58
That Time I Molested a Girl Who Had a Mustache Jane Doe 62
Foreign Affairs
Trapped in the Closet "SUZ" 68
The Farting Rapist Alexandra Lydon 72
An American Alcoholic in London Rachel F 80
A Wilde Night in Paris Jackie Clarke 86
The Size and Shape of Things
Fatty and the Fake Dick Dorien Davies 92
The "M" Word John Flynn 98
The Way-Too-Personal Assistant Emmy Rowland 105
Words of Mouth
Face Fucked by an Elephant Man 112
Cuddlewhore Beth Littleford 116
Can't Blow Me Love Laura Kindred 122
Going Against the Gay
Coming In Wally Marzano-Lesnevich 130
Get Your Titty off My Thigh Tymberlee Hill 136
Homosexual Schmomosexual Alison Brie 140
Kink About It
Red Will McLaughlin 148
Foot Slave Michael Feldman 155
Near-Death Sexperiences
Poké-pon Boti Bliss 164
I Got Her Number, She Got My Digit Drew Difonzo Marks 168
On the Rebound
Model Behavior Eric W. Pearson 174
Sleeps with Dogs Jennifer Hirshlag 185
Two Households, One A'Lacking Dignity "Juliet" 190
A Sexual Journey
Rub-a-Dub-Dub, Thanks for the ... Nub? Casey Wilson 198
Here Comes the Late Bloomer Katya Lidsky 201
Unsent Letters Matt Mcconkey 206
A Sonnet Eric W. Pearson 213
Glossary 214
Crossword Puzzle 218
About the Editors 220
About the Contributors 221
