Table of Contents
Prologue: Youth gone wild 1
1 Let's begin at the beginning 7
2 Growing up Sebastian 15
Bach in America: Pancratius on Tour 16
Lifelong Obsessions 19
"Gloria in Excelsis Deo": I Fell in Love with Singing at an Early Age 30
Breaking Up Is Hard to Do 43
The Demons of Rock 45
Winning a Ticket to the Rock 'n' Roll Lottery 49
Mens Sana in Corpore Insane-O 56
Moons Over My Hammy: Suspended Animation 72
3 Bach Formations 75
Acid, Arcades, and Aerosmith 75
I Lost My Virginity at the Age of Thirteen 95
4 From Park Avenue To Skid Row 99
5 Pretty Bad Boys 121
Bon Jovi/Skid Row Tour 1989: Young, Dumb, and Fulla Cum 124
No Need for Speed 136
No Rings, No Strings 141
End-of-Tour High Jinx: Sinister Turn 147
6 Rock It To Russia 155
Bach in the USSR 155
Make A Different Drink Foundation 160
Let the Games Begin 161
7 Feelgood, and Then Feel Better 169
No Milk and Cookie Jokes 173
Even in Rock Circles, Considered Crude and Disgusting 176
Weird Dreams 181
8 Bacj This Way 183
Watch Out for the AeroCops 190
Pretenders to Mah Throne 193
Let the Mayhem Begin 198
9 Bunch of Booze, Mountain of Blow, Quaaludes, and Tennis: My Time with Metallica 201
Never Had Nothing to Do 223
10 Lose Your Illusion! 235
Wine, Women, Song, and Duct Tape 246
11 Everybody IS Mad at Me. ALL of the Time 251
I Like to Run 255
Saturday Night Live 1991: Heavy Metal ABCs 262
My Voice Has a Life All Its Own 265
Pantera 268
Beware the Satanic Death Metal Telemarketer 272
What the Fuck's a Shortfall? 275
12 Just Jokin': End of the Row 277
Dude, Where's My Car? 288
Under Attack: "You Don't Have a Band Anymore" 303
One Shout Too Many Devils 309
Only the Nose Knows 311
13 From Skid Row to Savile Row: Bach on Broadway 319
Escape from New York 339
14 Jesus Christ: OH The Horror 343
Let's Do the Time Warp, 'Again 343
Forever Wild 347
Jesus Christ Superstar 351
Road Warp 356
Gilmore Girls 362
SuperGroup. Well, It's a Group 364
Celebrity Fat Club 368
Trailer Park Boys 370
15 Bach in the Saddle 373
The Return of the Redheaded Stranger 373
Making Metal Dreams Come True 378
Not An Anomaly 385
I Lost my Home in a Fucking Hurricane 389
Biblical in Proportions 391
16 The Last Frontier 397
Bach to the Future: Thank My Lucky Stars 406
You Are the Rock Star 411
Peace Amongst the Chaos 413
Epilogue: Hey Dude? When Are You Getting The Band Back Together 419
Selected Bachography 425
Photo Credits 427
Acknowledgments 429