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Overview
In today’s technological world, Lisa counsels clients on more than their table manners. Thanks to the explosion of social media, netiquette is a vital new discipline. If a tweet hits the fan, it doesn’t matter if you’re a “nobody” or a “somebody”; repercussions are real and sometimes devastating.
Everyone, regardless of their proximity to the Hollywood stars, can pick up something to apply to their own lives through the stories Lisa shares about her experiences with her most amusing, clueless, and stubborn clients. The inquiries never cease to amaze her.
- Teaching an Oscar nominee how to successfully navigate the red carpet
- Instructing sixty sorority girls how to use a fork and knife properly
- Tutoring a child actress requiring formal instruction on interacting with “normal” people
- Counseling an overnight rags-to-riches success story without a clue how to fit in
- Training soldiers specializing in interrogation how to assimilate back to their home lives
Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781628734195 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | Skyhorse |
| Publication date: | 09/01/2013 |
| Sold by: | SIMON & SCHUSTER |
| Format: | eBook |
| Pages: | 288 |
| File size: | 1 MB |
About the Author
Read an Excerpt
CHAPTER 1
Keeping Up Appearances
You'll need to bring your best self to Beverly Hills. It doesn't matter if you're a hotshot real estate guru, a used Porsche salesman, or a "film producer" (lurking in coffee houses with a laptop, eavesdropping on conversations for ideas). Everyone here is competing for something—a multi-million dollar deal, CEO title, or the perfect, granite-hard gluts—and ambition is a flavor of adrenaline constantly flooding that saturated patch of your brain that governs illusions, delusions, and fantasies of success.
This competition may surface as a heated scramble for a parking space because you're late for a screening, or a war of wits over a minor role in a paper towel commercial to pay next month's rent. You may confront your chief competitor in the tennis club locker room wearing only a tiny towel and suddenly wish you'd spent more time on the elliptical machine—a lot more time.
No Second Chances: First impressions, lasting impact
Let's get the unpleasantries out of the way first.
When you're going about your day, making a skinny double chocolate frappé run or say, getting an aromatherapy pedicure, the new faces you see—your friend Courtney's yoga partner, your agent's new assistant, even (especially) the nice young man who hands you a warm towelette at the salon—each has made a decision about you in approximately the first ten seconds of contact, before a single word has escaped your mouth.
These decisions are based on a package of subtle, but universal codes: your looks, your clothes, and your moves. Call it what you like—mojo, aura, energy, vibe—once that impression sets, it'll take a jackhammer and ten teamsters to dislodge it.
That's animal instinct, and we, as social animals, are always on the prowl for alphas (male or female) in the same way that in this town, you automatically scan a room for famous faces.
We're all on the hunt for the A-list, and that A stands for Animal Magnetism.
Whether deliberate or otherwise, we are forever trying to discern our place in the larger hierarchy as a means of raising our status.
This is Beverly Hills. This is humanity, really. It's surprising we don't have tails. But we certainly have claws.
Fake it until you make it.
What exactly is star quality? If you have it, you're familiar with the extended stares while strangers try to remember where they've seen you. Is he on some TV show? Did I read about her in the Vanity Fair Hollywood issue? Perhaps you do appear on television and in magazines, but it's your perfect balance of positive attitude and social ease that gives people this impression. Who cares if you're gorgeous, successful, or even employed? It's all about how you carry yourself in this world. It's all about the intangibles.
Poise, Confidence, Acting Skills
Even if your life is a rollicking shamble, you will show no evidence on your face. No one here wants to know about your wracking self-doubts or your hardscrabble childhood, your failing marriage or your corrosive political opinions. We came here for the sunshine, not the rain. Do your part.
But here's the plain truth, people. We are magnetic, molecular animals, and when others feel your ease, it puts them at ease. Your confident smile lets them know there are no leopards stalking in the tall grass. Or as the case may be, no stalkers in leopard skin boots and a handbag to match.
If you're relaxed among the A-List, even if you're not technically on that list, for all practical purposes, you will be A-List. Even if it's a ruse, enjoy it. That's what this place is all about.
Look the part (or someone else will get it).
Whether you're in a generic metropolis or a posh community like Beverly Hills, it's not where you've come from (because half the town is from various places on the globe), it's who you want to be. And that's pretty much up to you. Here in the land of smoke, mirrors, and sketchy real estate deals, we create our own personas for recreation. This should serve as a warning about making snap judgments about people.
That guy handing the valet the keys to his $800,000 Lamborghini? He wants you to believe he's the prince of some rocky outcropping in the Mediterranean; in fact, he's an Albanian taxi driver spending his lottery money. That lady in ripped jeans stuffing her pony-like mutt into a Prius? Please address her as "Lady," because she's actually British royalty.
Perception beats reality, hands down, every time.
The clothes you choose, your grooming habits, the language you use, the carefree way you go about your day—all of these choices reflect your aspirations. Who cares if you spent your high school afternoons working in the laundry room of a motel in rural Kansas? When you behave like a benevolent heiress, everyone from the breakfast maid to the head of Paramount Pictures will treat you like a benevolent heiress. We call this grace.
The more you act like the persona you aspire to be, the more likely reality will follow. In other words, it's your movie. You're the star and you get to cast the love interest and the minor roles, decorate the set, choose the costumes, and call action. In marketing terms, we call this branding.
You can turn your life around one hundred and eighty degrees, if you have the pluck and courage....
I had a client who possessed fabulous looks, but arrived in Beverly Hills from a rather humble background. She was a self- confessed "trophy wife," who married a wealthy man many years her senior. Although it was a happy union, she felt uncomfortable around his often judgmental friends, especially the ones down at the fabulously snotty country club. She pretty much spent her leisure time engaged in vengeance shopping. It took several sessions to build her confidence. I helped spruce up her posture, diction, and conversation skills and upped the level of elegance in her wardrobe. I also recommended she become involved in charitable work to give her life a deeper level of meaning. The outcome? She was ecstatic with her new self.
Wardrobe malfunction!
Just don't tackle a disguise you can't pull off. There's a difference between good acting and flat-out lying about who you are.
Some of us are natural leaders in the art of crafting a personal brand, effortlessly choosing the clothes and decor and vehicles that become the perfect material projections of our self-image. Others are constantly reinventing their style, based on the latest magazine spread they saw. Think you can't buy cool? Would it shock you to find out that the well-dressed woman over in the corner, talking to that gallery owner, pays six different advisors just to choose her shoes?
Nothing should surprise you here—especially the shotgun marriage of identity confusion and limitless resource.
If you go overboard, you'll feel like you're in drag, or worse, wearing a Halloween costume.
If you're not actually a dominatrix, a hip-hop star, or an '80s hair-rocker, eventually you'll get found out. The more your aspirations are in touch with your own personality and personal tastes, the better you'll move through this town, any town, and across this globe. Whatever your style, own it.
Body language needs no translation app.
Look alive! In the animal kingdom, the taller you stand, the less likely a predator will decide you are a snack worth risking a rumble. Imagine this town is a jungle, a jungle swarming with department store salespeople offering you night creams you don't need, hustlers wielding golf clubs, and man-eating divorcées looking for their next meal ticket.
Slouch at your own risk.
Yes, I blather on and on about "good posture." What I mean is this: Don't look small and helpless, like a frightened rabbit. It's the best way to avoid becoming someone's lunch. Walk as tall and straight as you can—if nothing else, you'll look thinner. Relax, it's a lot easier than trying to survive on maple syrup, cayenne pepper, and lemon water (what many Angelenos call "dinner").
Slow down the beat.
Don't rush it, don't push it, don't run it over, and don't hurl yourself breathlessly to your next appointment. "Crazy busy" is the standard response to "how are you?" This is a transparent boast, disguised as a complaint. You might think you seem very, very important if you're always in a hurry, but you are communicating the exact opposite. This is a town where keeping others waiting seems to imply status (very wrongly, but that's another chapter).
If you're in a hurry, it means you're late and you care, which knocks you back several notches in the business hierarchy. It implies you work for someone else; in short, you're the help.
(Continues…)
Excerpted from "24 Karat Etiquette"
by .
Copyright © 2013 Lisa Gaché.
Excerpted by permission of Skyhorse Publishing.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Introduction: Welcome to Beverly Hills, 1,
Chapter 1: Keeping Up Appearances,
Chapter 2: Pleased to Meet Me,
Chapter 3: Indirect Communications,
Chapter 4: Step Into My Office,
Chapter 5: On Location,
Chapter 6: Stress-Free Holidays (There's no such thing.),
Chapter 7: Happy Houseguesting,
Chapter 8: The Cordial Bride,
Chapter 9: Planes, Trains, Roads, and Rage,
Chapter 10: Child Wrangling,
Chapter 11: When Things Go Horribly, Horribly Wrong,