30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans

by Karl Pillemer Ph.D.

Overview

“Heartfelt and ever-endearing—equal parts information and inspiration. This is a book to keep by your bedside and return to often.”—Amy Dickinson, nationally syndicated advice columnist "Ask Amy"

More than one thousand extraordinary Americans share their stories and the wisdom they have gained on living, loving, and finding happiness.

After a chance encounter with an extraordinary ninety-year-old woman, renowned gerontologist Karl Pillemer began to wonder what older people know about life that the rest of us don't.

His quest led him to interview more than one thousand Americans over the age of sixty-five to seek their counsel on all the big issues: children, marriage, money, career, aging. Their moving stories and uncompromisingly honest answers often surprised him. And he found that he consistently heard advice that pointed to these thirty lessons for living. Here he weaves their personal recollections of difficulties overcome and lives well lived into a timeless book filled with the hard-won advice these older Americans wish someone had given them when they were young.

Like This I Believe, StoryCorps's Listening Is an Act of Love, and Tuesdays with Morrie, 30 Lessons for Living is a book to keep and to give. Offering clear advice toward a more fulfilling life, it is as useful as it is inspiring.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781101545850
Publisher:	Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date:	11/10/2011
Sold by:	Penguin Group
Format:	eBook
Pages:	288
File size:	395 KB
Age Range:	18 Years

About the Author

Karl Pillemer, PhD, is the founder and director of the Cornell Institute for Translational Research on Aging, a center that works to increase public awareness of aging research. Dr. Pillemer has authored more than one hundred scientific publications, and has spoken widely throughout the world on issues of successful aging, family relationships, and elder care.

Table of Contents

Foreword vii

Acknowledgments xi

A Note on Names xv

Chapter 1 Who Are the Wisest Americans and What Can They Tell Us? 1

Chapter 2 Great Together Lessons for a Happy Marriage 13

Chapter 3 Glad to Get Up in the Morning Lessons for a Successful and Fulfilling Career 51

Chapter 4 Nobody's Perfect Lessons for a Lifetime of Parenting 85

Chapter 5 Find the Magic Lessons for Aging Fearlessly and Well 125

Chapter 6 I Can Look Everyone in the Eye Lessons for Living a Life without Regrets 163

Chapter 7 Choose Happiness Lessons for Living like an Expert 197

Chapter 8 The Last Lesson 249

Ten Questions to Ask the Experts in Your Life 257

Appendix: How the Study was Done 261

Notes 269

What People are Saying About This

Harold Kushner

Thank you, Dr. Pillemer, for gathering all this wisdom in one book before it is lost. I can't imagine anyone whose life will not be enriched by this book. (Rabbi Harold Kushner, author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People)

From the Publisher

"The author skillfully weaves a prevailing theme (e.g., parenting, aging fearlessly) with self-disclosing statements from interviewees to create a compelling, inspirational book."

-Library Journal (starred; one of the "Top Self-Help Books of 2011")

Matthew Kelly

This is a fabulous book! Karl Pillemer has done an incredible job of bringing together the collective wisdom of hundreds of Americans into an entertaining, thought provoking, and practical book. Give it a read. You will find yourself getting out of bed in the morning with new enthusiasm. (Matthew Kelly, author of The Rhythm of Life and Off Balance)

Howard S. Friedman & Leslie R. Martin

If you want to hear the wisdom of the aged, this easy-to-read book, based on years of penetrating interviews by a prominent sociologist, tells you what they have learned about love, work, marriage, and parenting. (Howard S. Friedman, Ph.D. & Leslie R. Martin, Ph.D. authors of The Longevity Project)

Amy Dickinson

The "Wisest Americans" have a lot to teach the rest of us. Some of this advice is refreshingly commonsense. Much of it is truly surprising. It is always heartfelt and ever-endearing — equal parts information and inspiration. This is a book to keep by your bedside and return to often. (Amy Dickinson, nationally syndicated advice columnist "Ask Amy")

Hal Urban

30 lessons for Living is an absolute gem! Thank you Karl Pillemer for taking the time to collect such a valuable trove of wisdom, and for sharing it with us in such a readable book. It's one that I'll recommend often. All of it is wonderful, but I particularly appreciated the lessons on honesty and saying yes to opportunities. Read this book - you'll get more out of life and have fewer regrets. (Hal Urban, author of Life's Greatest Lessons)

Editorial Reviews

As he dispenses concrete, practical advice on how to make the most of our lives, Cornell gerontologist Pillemer turns for answers to our elders—those he believes are the experts, with the enormous advantage of life experience, whose limits have been tested by illness, danger, failure, oppression, and loss. His approximately 1,000 Americans age 65 and older from around the country and many walks of life share personal memories to explain what is important for a long, happy marriage: for instance, marrying someone a lot like yourself, trying to give more than you want to get out of the relationship, and learning how to fight are key. The seniors agree that you shouldn’t choose a career based only on potential earnings; that you should do everything necessary to avoid a permanent rift with a child, even if it requires compromise on a parent’s part; travel while you can, even if it means making financial sacrifices; and view aging as a quest and tidy up the loose ends of life before you go. Giving familiar advice a new spin by mining the rich resource of older Americans, Pillemer offers a refreshing, smart wakeup call about getting your priorities straight and living right. (Nov.)

Publishers Weekly

"Skillfully weaves a prevailing theme (e.g., parenting, aging fearlessly) with self-disclosing statements from interviewees to create a compelling, inspirational book."—Library Journal (starred review; one of the Top Self-Help Books of 2011)

"Thank you, Dr. Pillemer, for gathering all this wisdom in one book before it is lost. I can't imagine anyone whose life will not be enriched by this book."—Rabbi Harold Kushner, author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People

"The 'Wisest Americans' have a lot to teach the rest of us. Some of this advice is refreshing common sense. Much of it is truly surprising. It is always heartfelt and ever-endearing - equal parts information and inspiration. This is a book to keep by your bedside and return to often."—Amy Dickinson, nationally sundicated advice columnist "Ask Amy"

"This is a fabulous book! Karl Pillemer has done an incredible job of bringing together the collective wisdom of hundreds of Americans into an entertaining, thought provoking, and practical book. Give it a read. You will find yourself getting out of bed in the morning with new enthusiasm."—Matthew Kelly, author of The Rhythm of Life and Off Balance

"An absolute gem! Thank you Karl Pillemer for taking the time to collect such a valuable trove of wisdom, and for sharing it with us in such a readable book. It's one that I'll recommend often. All of it is wonderful, but I particularly appreciated the lessons on honesty and saying yes to opportunities. Read this book—you'll get more out of life and have fewer regrets."—Hal Urban, author of Life's Greatest Lessons

"If you want to hear the wisdom of the aged, this easy-to-read book, based on years of penetrating interviews by a prominent sociologist, tells you what they have learned about love, work, marriage, and parenting."—Howard S. Friedman, Ph.D. & Leslie R. Martin, Ph.D., authors of The Longevity Project

"For five years, Karl Pillemer sat down with more than 1,000 older Americans-most of them between the ages of 70 and 100-to talk about lessons for living well. In the resulting book, 30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice From the Wisest Americans,... Pillemer, a gerontologist at Cornell, has culled 30 life lessons from his "experts," ranging from the practical to the profound. How to raise children? How to think about dying? Think of this book as 1,000 borrowed grandparents weighing in on life's various challenges. A salty pragmatism runs throughout."—The Daily Beast

From the Publisher

Who better to teach lessons on living, asks Pillemer (human ecology, Cornell Univ.; director, Cornell Inst. for Translational Research on Aging), than the thousands of Americans over the age of 65 who have successfully navigated the territories of marriage, career, money, and aging? By conducting innumerable interviews, Pillemer found that their advice upends contemporary wisdom: they suggest marrying a person like oneself, choosing a career for intrinsic rewards, and spending more time with one's children. The author skillfully weaves a prevailing theme (e.g., parenting, aging fearlessly) with self-disclosing statements from interviewees to create a compelling, inspirational book. One of the best of its kind.

Library Journal