I always felt like I had issues but could never pinpoint them. What is wrong with me? I was so accustomed to getting used that I began to not even care, my body became numb to the abuse it took. My mind became numb to the constant feeling of not being loved or taken seriously. How did I get here? Why do I not like to feel emotions? Why do I constantly lie about how I truly feel? Why had sex become my coping mechanism? These were questions that used to engulf my mind constantly throughout my teenage and early adulthood life.I covered up so well, no one really knew my deep pain. Except for my beloved journals. I was always able to attract and date men but when it came to vowing to be theirs forever it became a one man's game. I was not on that team, no matter how hard I tried. And I did try but there was no sense of urgency to try and stay in the game.One fail is okay, we all make mistakes. A second fail could very easily be the other person. A third fail, it's time to start asking questions and self-reflect. A fourth fail, its time to fall to your knees in submission to find out what the repeating cycle of delinquency is stemming from.It was time to take heed to the concern, so I began to seek the help of a therapist to talk out my issues. Needless to say, I thought I was aware of things, but it was those questions to the surface answers given in dialogue that pulled out the inevitable. This book is not just for women/girls, even though I wrote with you all in mind. Men can also benefit from reading about a woman's cycle of repeated mistakes and the reason or mentality behind each one. This story is about rehabilitation. It is about going through life, making mistakes along the way, thinking you're ok but afraid to speak up when you're not, loving others, not loving yourself, embracing flaws, becoming stronger, dealing with grief, contemplating suicide, growing up in church yet very worldly, seeking help, facing fears and family, rediscovering who God purposed you to be.
