Read an Excerpt
A Pen and A Path
Writing as a Spiritual Practice
By SARAH STOCKTON Church Publishing, Inc.
Copyright © 2004 Sarah Stockton
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-8192-2596-2
CHAPTER 1
Images of My Spiritual Self
On the last day of my spiritual direction training program, we gathered together in a circle to "show and tell." Each of us had brought an image or an icon that represented how we saw ourselves as spiritual directors, as we imagined going forward into our new vocation. One woman brought a puppet shaped like a turtle: it represented both the interior and exterior life. A man brought a photograph of an important mentor/teacher. I brought a doll-sized chair, which I had painted and decorated with small charms. This chair represented my listening self. No icon, words, or pictures can capture all of our identity, but they can begin to tell a story, to highlight an important aspect of who we are, and who we want to be.
When asked to draw an image of your spiritual self, what would you draw? When asked to describe your spiritual self in words, what would you say? Images may come to mind that are suffused with color and texture. A memory of kneeling in church, or hiking though the woods, or sitting with a dying loved one may fill our minds and open our hearts. These experiences of spirit that infuse one's spiritual identity may or may not be related to the practice of religion, for our spiritual identity is partly composed of, yet much more than, our faith tradition, just as God is part of, yet much more than, any religious practice. Our spiritual identity is as unique as any other part of us, from our fingerprints to our way of living in the world. How would you describe the unique spirit that is you?
Reflection
Because this is a book on writing as a spiritual practice, these exercises ask you to describe yourself today in words, rather than other mediums. Begin to think about the images that spring to mind when you talk or write or think about who you are as a spiritual person.
• Do you picture yourself in a specific setting?
• Which emotions, rituals, or states of mind do you associate with your spiritual self?
• How does thinking about who you are, and how you are spiritually, summon up a particular attitude or framework for approaching your daily life?
• From there, begin to explore the feelings and assumptions attached to these images and states of mind or being. What are the emotions that color who you are spiritually?
• How do your usual thoughts or feelings about yourself change when you focus on who you are spiritually?
Pen in Hand
Take some time to sketch in words or phrases, the images and descriptions that come to mind when you think about your spiritual self. These may be states of being such as grateful, obedient, restless; they may include descriptions like fluid, wellspring, open, seeking; or they may be emotions like fearful, eager, grateful. Write as many of these words and phrases down on a page as you can.
Don't worry about order or structure. Try to keep going past where you think you should or must stop—beyond the point where you think you are "done." See what arises. Sometimes the most honest and startling answers show up when we push a bit past our own limits.
Noticing
• How did it feel to write this list?
• Which words or phrases were more interesting to you than others?
• Which words or images, if any, were disconcerting?
• Think about or write about how you feel now, after doing this exercise.
On the Path
If a starting point or a direction has emerged from your list of words and images, use it as a way into this next exercise. Using that starting point, write more thoroughly about your spiritual self for fifteen minutes. If you find that you have said all that you can say before the time is up, try to write a little more. If you then feel that you have reached a final stopping point and your fifteen minutes aren't up, then write about the process itself until the time is up.
If you don't sense a natural starting point or direction, try using the suggested launching points below. Choose any that apply, or simply begin wherever you feel most drawn to begin.
• Describe the difference between your "daily self" and your spiritual self. If you don't feel there is any difference, write about how that came to be: was it always so? How did the integration of your daily self and spiritual self evolve?
Are there words or phrases that describe your spiritual self that you would not wish to share with others? With people in your faith community? What are they, and why? Do they seem subversive, or just different? Do they leave you feeling vulnerable? How would claiming these aspects of your spiritual identity feel?
• If the process of articulating your spiritual self was difficult, write about why that might be the case. How did it feel to struggle with this exercise?
Contemplation
Finally, if you'd like to, re-read the section on contemplation on page 5 for some thoughts on how to conclude this chapter. Pay attention to how you feel now.
• Has the image of your spiritual self changed, expanded, or become more grounded? If not, what has happened?
• How will you take this new awareness into your life from this point?
• Do you feel like sharing what you wrote? Why? Why not?
CHAPTER 2
How Others Have Influenced My Spiritual Identity and My Relationship with God
A small girl watches carefully as her mother lights a candle, and eventually is allowed to light the candle by herself. A boy repeats the prayer he has been taught, learning the inflections before grasping the meaning. These actions become part of a child's spiritual vocabulary, part of who they are: actions that, while automatic, may or may not be heartfelt.
Who we are, in all aspects, is who we bring to God. Along the way to becoming who we are, the parents, religious leaders, lovers, relatives, and friends we have known have all at one point or another affected the way we view ourselves. Those relationships affect who we are in relation to God, even if indirectly. Like being draped in many-colored shawls, the influences of others can either be comforting and warm or too tightly binding with their constraints. In this chapter we will begin to unwind some of these cloths that the spirit is wrapped in, keeping those that bring color, warmth, and succor, and discarding those that weigh down and restrict spiritual freedom.
Reflection
Begin to think about the influences that you've absorbed throughout life that impact your image of yourself as a spiritual person who has a relationship with God.
• Who are the people who have had the most impact on your spiritual identity?
• What words might others use to describe who you are and what your relationship to God is like?
• How important to you are other people's ideas or opinions about who you are as a spiritual person, or as a person in general?
• Which beliefs about yourself as someone who is, or can be, in relationship with God come from someone else?
Pen in Hand
Spend a few minutes writing a mini-biography of yourself, from the point of view of someone else who has had a significant impact on your spiritual identity. Don't worry about formal writing. Treat this like a journal entry more than a letter of recommendation or character assessment. If you choose someone who you believe views you negatively, pay attention to any feelings of discomfort, anger, or anxiety that arise. Try to balance this portrait of yourself by writing another sketch, this time from the perspective of someone who has had a positive influence on you, who you believe cares for you.
Noticing
• How did it feel to write a self-portrait from someone else's perspective?
• Was it difficult to think of someone who affirms you? Why is that?
• If you chose to write about someone who you believe judges you negatively, what insights did you gain about how her negative energy affects your spiritual identity?
• Think or write about the power of other people's influence on your own spiritual identity.
On the Path
Writing about how others have influenced, shaped, or otherwise affected us can be either heartening or distressing, or sometimes a bit of both. For this next writing exercise, write about a single, significant person or interaction from your life that you continue to carry as part of your spiritual identity. Try to stay with this one person or experience that carries a lasting impression, in order to better explore its effect on you in more depth. There are often great riches to be explored in such a relationship, for if it has stayed with you, it must contain something important to explore. You can always repeat this exercise using a different focus another time.
It's natural to feel vulnerable opening ourselves up to outside influences, even if those influences have been positive. Ask God to accompany and safeguard you as you explore these imprints on your spirit. If nothing comes to you, some suggestions for getting started follow. Write for fifteen minutes.
• When did this person first begin to have an impact on your spiritual identity? What was it about this person that helped form you?
• If you could write to this person about their impact on your spiritual identity, what would you say?
• Do you feel mostly blessed by the people and events that have impacted you spiritually and affected your relationship with God, or do you feel that they have been a hindrance, that their influence has been detrimental or even damaging? Can you articulate why that is?
• What emotions arose through doing this exercise? Were there any surprises?
Contemplation
Please bear in mind that you may be plumbing difficult emotional depths in this exercise. Anger, grief, or sadness aren't unusual responses. You may have stepped outside of yourself in order to reflect back on your experience through another's perspective, and that can be unsettling. Take some extra time to pray, share feelings, and experiences with a friend, or to nurture yourself. Think or write about:
• Was doing this exercise beneficial? In what way?
• Do you want to keep going with this exercise? Why? Why not?
• Has this exercise changed the way you view the people in your life?
CHAPTER 3
My Own Perspective on My Spiritual Identity and My Relationship to God
Underneath the labels, stereotypes, and opinions others hold about us exists our own private set of beliefs about who we are and what our relationship with God is all about. Someone may think "oh, she's so pious; she goes to church every week" while we secretly think of ourselves as rebellious outsiders who argue with God constantly. Or someone may see us as casual and indifferent spiritually, while inside, we long with all our hearts for God. When we articulate what we believe about ourselves, we begin to discover who we actually are. That makes it possible to grow into a fuller understanding of our true identity, and leads to acceptance, integration, and even transformation.
Reflection
Begin to consider the ways you think about and express who you are as a spiritual person who has a relationship with God.
• What words or phrases best describe your spiritual identity?
• How comfortable are you with your spiritual identity?
• How does your spiritual identity help you connect with God?
• Are you living out the spiritual path you most desire?
• What images or symbols best describe your spiritual self?
Pen in Hand
Spend a few minutes writing a mini-portrait of your spiritual self, this time from your own point of view. Again, don't worry about formal writing. Treat this like a journal entry more than a resume. Focus on describing what you visualize or feel when you say to yourself, "My spiritual identity is ..."
Noticing
• Is the way you imagine yourself more connected to images or words?
• When you picture your spiritual self, what are you doing? For instance, are you praying? With others? In nature?
• Can you separate who you are from what other people think about you? Would you like to?
• Is your own belief about your spiritual identity mostly positive, or mostly negative? How do you feel about that?
On the Path
As you write, describe in more detail who you are as a spiritual person. Focus on how you come into connection with God. Write for fifteen minutes. If you'd like a way to begin, consider:
• In what settings are you most at home, most in touch with God?
• What does your spiritual practice look like? The rhythms, the rituals?
• How do you honor/nurture your spiritual self?
• Describe how your spiritual self is or is not congruent with your public persona.
Contemplation
Spending time focused on and in relationship with our own self can bring us surprising and interesting information about ourselves. Honor your desire to get to know yourself and who you are in relationship with God. Think or write about:
• How are you feeling about yourself now?
• Do you have a clearer understanding of who you are in relation to God, or would you like to keep exploring that identity?
• Are you surprised at how easy or difficult it was to write a self-portrait? Why do you suppose that is?
CHAPTER 4
Beginning to Create My Spiritual Identity Anew
What avenues of creativity will you pursue on your spiritual journey? How will you create the way you live in the world from this moment on? One of the most precious gifts from God is the freedom to create. It is not just artists who create, with words and paint and music: all human beings are free to create a self, an approach to life, a way of being in the world. Being from God, this creative freedom is imbued with God's presence, so that while we are free to turn away from God, we are also free to embrace God's presence as co-creator in the continually evolving creation that is our life. Consciously choosing to co-create our spiritual self with God, new possibilities open up for greater freedom, authenticity, and joy.
Reflection
Begin to think about how you would like to co-create your spiritual self in the newness of this moment, this point on your life journey.
• How do you feel when thinking about "cocreating your spiritual self?"
• What feelings arise in you at the thought of change?
• What about your spiritual self do you want to keep?
• Which aspects of your spiritual self, if any, do you want to reclaim from your past?
• What would you like to discard?
Pen in Hand
Write about what it means to you to partner with God in creating your spiritual self. Are you comfortable with that concept? Why or why not? Which aspects of your spiritual identity or spiritual practice would you like to reconsider and make anew?
Noticing
• What was it like to write from this perspective?
• Did you experience more or less resistance to this exercise compared to other topics you have written about? Why?
• What did you learn in doing this exercise?
• Were you affirmed in any way during this exercise?
(Continues...)
Excerpted from A Pen and A Path by SARAH STOCKTON. Copyright © 2004 Sarah Stockton. Excerpted by permission of Church Publishing, Inc..
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
