A River Could Be a Tree: A Memoir

by Angela Himsel, Shulem Deen (Foreword by)

Overview

How does a woman who grew up in rural Indiana as a fundamentalist Christian end up a practicing Jew in New York?

Angela Himsel was raised in a German-American family, one of eleven children who shared a single bathroom in their rented ramshackle farmhouse in Indiana. The Himsels followed an evangelical branch of Christianity—the Worldwide Church of God—which espoused a doomsday philosophy. Only faith in Jesus, the Bible, significant tithing, and the church's leader could save them from the evils of American culture—divorce, television, makeup, and even medicine.

From the time she was a young girl, Himsel believed that the Bible was the guidebook to being saved, and only strict adherence to the church's tenets could allow her to escape a certain, gruesome death, receive the Holy Spirit, and live forever in the Kingdom of God. With self-preservation in mind, she decided, at nineteen, to study at The Hebrew Universityin Jerusalem. But instead of strengthening her faith, Himsel was introduced to a whole new world—one with different people and perspectives. Her eyes were slowly opened to the church's shortcomings, even dangers, and fueled her natural tendency to question everything she had been taught, including the guiding principles of the church and the words of the Bible itself.

Ultimately, the connection to God she so relentlessly pursued was found in the most unexpected place: a mikvah on Manhattan's Upper West Side. This devout Christian Midwesterner found her own form of salvation—as a practicing Jewish woman.

Himsel's seemingly impossible road from childhood cult to a committed Jewish life is traced in and around the major events of the 1970s and 80s with warmth, humor, and a multitude of religious and philosophical insights. A River Could Be a Tree: A Memoir is a fascinating story of struggle, doubt, and finally, personal fulfillment.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781941493243
Publisher:	Mandel Vilar Press
Publication date:	11/13/2018
Pages:	288
Sales rank:	671,674
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.10(h) x 1.10(d)

About the Author

Angela Himsel is a freelance writer based in New York City whose work has appeared in The New York Times, The Jewish Week, the Forward, Lilith Magazine, BOMB Magazine and several other outlets. Her weekly column “Angetevka” on Zeek.net examined her life as an observant Jew on Manhattan’s Upper West Side against the backdrop of her fundamentalist Christian upbringing in Jasper, Indiana. For this body of work, Himsel received the American Jewish Press Association’s Rockower Award for Excellence in Commentary. She holds a BA in religious studies from Indiana University, which included a two-year stint studying at The Hebrew Universityin Jerusalem, and also has an MFA in creative writing from The City College of New York. Himsel is represented by The Deborah Harris Agency. More information can be found at AngelaHimsel.com.

Shulem Deen is a writer, journalist, and author of the award-winning memoir "All Who Go Do Not Return." He is a regular contributor to the Forward, and in 2015 was listed in the Forward 50, an annual list of American Jews with outsized roles on political and social issues. His articles have appeared in The New York Times, The New Republic, Salon, Tablet magazine, and elsewhere. He serves as a board member at Footsteps, a New York City-based organization that offers assistance and support to those who have left the ultra-Orthodox Jewish community. He lives in Brooklyn.

Read an Excerpt

My parents were perplexed when I told them I wanted to spend my junior year in Israel. I was perplexed that they were perplexed. Hadn't we all sat in church for years and years listening to the minister and reading our Bibles and studying about the place in which God appeared, where the spiritual world met the physical plane? Wasn't Israel as much our spiritual home as Germany was our physical one?

Although going to Jerusalem to connect with my spiritual DNA made logical sense to me, it was considered a crazy, impulsive whim to both my parents and my siblings. In his end-of-the-world tone, my father warned me, "It's a powder keg over there! Jesus has to return lest all flesh should perish.'

My mother, however, clipped a bunch of newspaper articles about Israel to try to help me prepare. But I wasn't interested in what was going on there at that moment. It was biblical Israel I planned to inhabit.

Reading Group Guide

1. Were you surprised by the reaction of Angela’s family, particularly her parents, to her decision to convert and live a Jewish life? Why or why not?
2. How did growing up in such a large family with ten siblings influence Angela’s decision-making and/or approach to life?
3. Angela’s love of the written word reveals itself early in her life. How do you think that influenced her journey?
4. While you admire Angela’s conversion story, what are your feelings about Jews who convert out?
5. What do you think Angela’s life would be like today had she never studied at Indiana Universityor abroad?
6. Angela is from a small town in the Midwest. How did these values stay with her as she traveled beyond the physical and educational borders of her childhood?
7. Do you think Angela’s journey is more about leaving, seeking, or finding?
8. How does the role of women—in Angela’s family, in the church and in society—figure into her decision-making? Who from her life do you think was her greatest female influence?
9. In addition to the use of “river” in the title, rivers pop up throughout the story. How do they serve as a metaphor for Angela’s life?
10. Angela’s father dictates much of what goes on in the household and is the driving force behind the family’s connection to the church. What does Angela’s relationship with her father as a young Christian woman and then as a Jewish adult say about each of them?
11. Angela’s knowledge of religious history is extensive. Did any of her insights spark a desire for you to explore an aspect of Judaism or its teachings?
12. Angela longs to feel connected. What do you think it is that primarily connects us, and us as Jews?
13. In what ways do you think Angela’s role as mother to her three children was influenced by her roots in Indiana? Or her Jewish values?
14. Why do you think Angela felt that hers was an important story to tell?

Editorial Reviews

"Candid and insightful. . . " —Ilana Kurshan, Lilith

"Inspiring and brave, A River Could Be a Tree defines what we all need in some way—the freedom to discover our own unique path in life and the courage to choose it. Throughout Angela's journey of self-discovery and spiritual awakening, we recognize beauty in the uncertainty of life. Her ability to illuminate this is a true gift to her readers, and her story serves as a powerful reminder that we don’t have to settle for what is expected of us. We can all find pieces of ourselves reflected in this delightful memoir." —Ruth Wariner, author of The New York Times bestseller, The Sound of Gravel: A Memoir

"In A River Could Be a Tree, Angela Himsel falls in love with Judaism, and we fall in love with her. Her passion, humor, and curiosity shine through as she discovers it isn't the answers that give life meaning, but the quest for answers and the people met along the way." —Charlotte Rogan, author of The Lifeboat

"An intriguing tale of one woman's search for identity and community." —Kirkus Reviews

"Angela Himsel’s memoir A River Could Be a Tree is one woman's incredible journey down the proverbial road to Damascus, except that Angela's conversion was more process than presto. This coming of age memoir takes the reader from the faith of a childhood immersed in the Worldwide Church of God, to Orthodox Jewish New York, by way of Israel and Germany. Angela traces her genealogical and theological roots, in a search for identity and connection, and gives her readers stories of heartbreak, humor, longing, and love." —Lucia Greenhouse, author of fathermothergod: My Journey Out of Christian Science

"Adherents to any faith know well that religion can be both constricting and fulfilling at the same time. And at the core of everyone’s spiritual journey is a belief that we are all seekers, searching for something deeper beyond ourselves. Himsel eloquently embodies this notion in her compelling new memoir. In often raw and engaging fashion, she takes her readers along for the ride—through love, loss, and religious rearrangement—to a conclusion that is both satisfying and enlightening." —Benyamin Cohen, author of My Jesus Year: A Rabbi’s Son Wanders the Bible Belt in Search of His Own Faith

"A River Could Be A Tree is an odyssey of love and faith, told in a voice mixed with pathos and humor. Angela Himsel shows us how intricate, layered, and painful are the bounds of family, and finally how it is possible to honor both the ties we are born with and the ones we choose to create on our own." —Gabrielle Selz, author of Unstill Life: A Daughter's Memoir of Art and Love in the Age of Abstraction

"Honest, yet humane, Himsel masterfully describes her spiritual walk along life’s long-narrow bridge from an impoverished childhood in rural Indiana with parents fiercely devoted to an apocalyptic cult, and ending in the embracing warmth of the Jewish community of the Upper West Side. Her journey is a testament to the importance of having no fear. In this regard, Himsel is not just a force of nature; she’s the Mary Karr (author of The Liar’s Club and Lit) of Indiana." —Mort Zachter, author of Dough: A Memoir, winner of the AWP Award

"A River Could Be a Tree is a riveting, intimate memoir of growing up in rural America in a family of eleven children with a father who is an avid follower of an Evangelical Christian sect. With boundless curiosity and rigorous erudition, Angela Himsel navigates a spiritual life while deftly melding the personal with the compelling realities of life in a cult and cultural norms in other religions. Sprawling several religious worlds, this tragicomic memoir is spellbinding." —Eva Fogelman, author of Conscience and Courage: Rescuers of Jews During the Holocaust

From the Publisher

10/15/2018
Freelance writer Himsel comes from a long line of conservative evangelical Protestants in southern Indiana who didn't celebrate Christmas or Easter owing to their beliefs in a doomsday apocalyptic Christianity. The fearful restraints of the Worldwide Church of God led her to pursue her eternal salvation academically and to eventual religious studies in Jerusalem. After moving to New York, Himsel found herself casually considering Judaism. This move is paralleled (but not determined) by an unexpected pregnancy with a Jewish lawyer who eventually becomes the author's husband. For Himsel, having the choice to be Jewish rather than belong to the religion assigned to her at birth, is what defines her. VERDICT An engaging alternative to the traditional salvation memoir.—Sandra Collins, Byzantine Catholic Seminary Lib., Pittsburgh

Library Journal

2018-06-18
A memoir about an unusual spiritual journey.In her first book, freelance writer Himsel chronicles her slow transition from the cultlike religion of her youth to her conversion to Judaism. Raised in rural Indiana, the author followed her parents into the Worldwide Church of God, a quasi-Christian religion founded by radio evangelist Herbert Armstrong. The religion, steeped in end-times teachings, required members to adhere to Old Testament laws and holy days while eschewing many of the traditions of mainstream Christianity. Himsel was raised to assume the imminent end of the world and to see her salvation as based on how thoroughly she followed church teachings. Nevertheless, she managed to move onward, entering Indiana University. In 1981, while in college, she left to study in Israel to pursue her intense interest in the area's biblical history. At the time, she knew almost nothing about modern-day Israel or modern Judaism. Over time, however, her connection to Judaism grew—through Israel and through American Jewish friends—while her faith in her parents' church waned. Eventually, while living in New York, a Jewish boyfriend and a pregnancy forced the issue of conversion, leading to yet another journey. Himsel admirably narrates her life story in page-turning prose that is both entertaining and moving. Her tale of conversion is unique given that she started in what can only be seen tangentially as a Christian denomination. The since-discredited Worldwide Church of God both stunted the author's spiritual growth and led her to the foundations of Judaism. To many readers, it will seem that Judaism was a natural next step for Himsel. One unresolved issue is the author's oft-expressed yearning for "the Spirit," for a moment of certainty and full belonging. Unfortunately, she never seems to find this moment, nor even a full feeling of belonging, whether as a Christian or a Jew.An intriguing tale of one woman's search for identity and community.

Kirkus Reviews