All Set for Black, Thanks.: A New Look at Mourning

by Miriam Weinstein

Overview

When Miriam Weinstein’s good friend died unexpectedly, and other losses followed close behind, it led to a year of introspection and black outfits. All Set For Black, Thanks ditches the sanctimony to give us the help, and the laughs, that we actually need in times of mourning and grief. She explores such topics as how we keep our dead with us even as we learn to let them go; why we should not bring casseroles; how to write the Best Eulogy Ever. Part memoir, part how-to, this book will help you get through the rough bargain of human existence: none of us gets out of here alive, but we live as if the lives of our loved ones had no end.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781631521096
Publisher:	She Writes Press
Publication date:	09/13/2016
Pages:	224
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x (d)

About the Author

Miriam Weinstein writes about family, friendship, how we navigate time, and how we make meaning in our lives. Starting as a documentary filmmaker, then moving into print journalism, she won awards in many categories. Her book, Yiddish: A Nation of Words, won the National Jewish Book Award. Her next book, The Surprising Power of Family Meals: How Eating Together Makes Us Smarter, Stronger, Healthier and Happier, opened a national conversation, with quotes on the front page of the New York Times and in Time magazine. Weinstein lives in Gloucester, MA with her husband.

Table of Contents

Prologue: It's Us Now: Snatched from Life 1

What to Wear to a Funeral: All Set for Black, Thanks 7

Who Gets the Spot Next to Mom: Eternity in Jersey 16

Dividing the Spoils: I'll Take the Guitar 29

Grandparents Go First: Millie's Chaise Longue 43

Why We Mourn Celebrities: Flowers in Their Plastic Shields 57

Losing a Friend: Getting the Retro Dress 67

Organized Religion and Death: What I Believe 82

What to Do with Inherited "Treasure:" Saving Just Enough of the Stuff 91

How We Handle a Sudden Death: Whiplash 98

How to Deliver Those Final Words: Best Eulogy Ever! 114

One Way Trip: The Lights Are on Timers, Eventually They Go Out 126

Naming the Living After the Dead: Oh Baby! 130

What to Do with Those Ashes: The Space on Susan's Mantle 137

The Way We Keep Remembering: This Is a Prayer That You Say Standing Up 143

How We Get Ready to Die: Love Lies Bleeding 154

Staging a Funeral: Open Casket 161

Mourning How-To: For Brilliant People Who, Through No Fault of Their Own, Find Themselves Hacking Out Their Own Path through the Dense Woods 167

Where I'm Going: Clearing in the Woods 174

Regrets: Tood's Birthday 180

How We Become the People We've Lost: Winter Boots 187

How Are We Going to Die? Who by Fire 191

Epilogue: Friends Forever 199

Editorial Reviews

Who knew I’d find a collection of essays about death to be shockingly funny? I should have known—given the collection’s title, All Set for Black, Thanks, and the cover, which is a Vogue-ish drawing of some little-black-going-to-a-funeral dresses. But of course Miriam Weinstein’s new book is also touching, for the what-to-wear dilemmas she addresses are surrounded by evocative descriptions of how loved one’s react at life’s passing. These are intensely personal essays about death written by an introspective woman with a keen gift for outré and, dare I say ‘cheering,’ gab.”
—Rebecca Coffey, author of Hysterical

“With grace and keen wit Miriam Weinstein provides a survivor’s manual for all who face loss. Colleagues, friends, and loved ones die frequently in her account. This book is a love letter to them, as well as a guide to those left behind. Weinstein teaches us how to mourn as well as how to embrace the gift of life that is still ours.”
—Daniel Jacobs, Director, Center for Advanced Psychoanalytic Studies

"All Set for Black, Thanks is an important contribution to grief literature. By nimbly straddling memoir and self-help, Miriam Weinstein reveals both the universal and personal road we all must travel when we lose someone we deeply loved.”
—Allison Gilbert, author of Passed and Present: Keeping Memories of Loved Ones Alive and Always Too Soon: Voices of Support for Those Who Have Lost Both Parents

"All Set for Black, Thanks takes mourning out of the closet as we follow Miriam Weinstein through a year of funerals, shivas, casseroles and eulogies. We see loss and the rituals that surround it through her wry, resilient, wise lens, feeling almost guilty when we can't help laughing. Weinstein's little black dress allows you to be your true vulnerable self in the face of what we fear the most. Put it on! You'll be surprised.”
—Sally Ryder Brady, Author, A Box of Darkness

From the Publisher