Always a Sibling: The Forgotten Mourner's Guide to Grief

by Annie Sklaver Orenstein Narrated by Annie Sklaver Orenstein

Overview

A practical, compassionate guide to sibling loss, with research, stories, and strategies for “forgotten mourners” as they move through the stages of grief towards finding meaning.¿
After her brother was killed by a suicide bomber in Afghanistan, Annie Sklaver Orenstein was heartbroken and unmoored. Standing in the grief section of her local bookstore, she searched for guides on how to work through her grief as a mourning sibling-and found nothing. More than 4 million American adults each year will lose a sibling, yet there isn't a modern resource guide available that speaks directly to this type of grief that at times can be overshadowed by grieving parents and spouses and made even more difficult by the complexities of sibling dynamics.

In AlwaysaSibling,*Annie uses her own story and those of others to create the empathic, thoughtful, practical resource that she sought. Divided into three sections: With, Without, and Within, it*creates a framework that enables the reader to ground themselves in order to process and validate this often overlooked grief. Annie guides readers to capture the memories and emotions of life with their now deceased sibling, then moves to addressing the grieving process in detail as they navigate life without them. Ultimately, readers will find ways to experience their sibling's presence within themselves and acknowledge their legacy. With practical strategies rooted in proven grief processing techniques, trauma recovery, and psychoanalysis, Always A Sibling truly supports mourners through the unique experience of sibling loss.

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly

04/08/2024

Cultural researcher Orenstein debuts with a scattershot guide for those grieving the loss of a brother or sister. After her brother was killed while serving in Afghanistan in 2009, the author was left emotionally devastated and oddly adrift—“in grief one becomes a widow, not a wife; an orphan, not a daughter; but there is no name for us.” She yearned to “fall asleep and learn it was all a dream” before slowly learning to become an “active participant” in her healing process. Interweaving her personal experiences with anecdotes from interviews she conducted with others who’ve lost siblings, Orenstein provides tools for navigating a “strange new life” without one’s brother or sister while honoring their legacy. In particular, she centers a method of “narrative reconstruction” in which one tells—or writes—stories about their sibling to “make meaning” in the wake of the loss. Unfortunately, the useful advice is undermined by distracting tonal inconsistencies (Orenstein awkwardly mixes goofy humor, deep emotion, and out-of-place direct addresses—“Promise me you will at least try to feel the happy, Dear Reader”), opaque research methods (she draws on a survey completed by 350 participants and 40 interviews without providing information on the selection process or demographics), and abrupt shifts between interviewee anecdotes and her own recollections. Despite a strong premise and Orenstein’s good intentions, this stumbles. (May)

From the Publisher

I became a completely different person after my brother's death. My life is now divided into ‘before’ and ‘after’ and I wish I'd had this book as a resource to guide me through that process. Through the exercises Annie outlines in her book, I know that other grieving siblings will be able to find the support and guidance they need.” —Stephanie Wittels Wachs, author of Everything is Horrible and Wonderful and host of The Last Day podcast

“Annie has internalized the research on sibling loss and delivered it with wit, grace and simplicity. She makes an impossible situation feel a little more manageable. I very much hope you do not need this book, but if you do, I am grateful that you now have it.” —Emily Oster, author of the bestselling titles, Expecting Better, Cribsheet and The Family Firm

"Bursts with provocative questions that feel at once familiar and entirely fresh, and the kind of vulnerable storytelling that makes me want to hug her and, in fact, everyone. Annie’s expertise as an ethnographer—as a professional empathy-generator—crackles on the page.” —Samara Bay, speech coach and author of Permission to Speak

"Annie Sklaver Orenstein captures the raw and devastating grief of losing her brother Captain Ben Sklaver to war, and the life-changing ripple effect that comes from such a loss. Orenstein shares with us a powerful, universal, and uplifting truth: that death is not the end of our story, nor does it sever the connection and love we feel with the most important people in our life.” —Kate Spencer, author of The Dead Moms Club and Co-Host of the Forever35 podcast

Product Details

BN ID:	2940159185600
Publisher:	Hachette Audio
Publication date:	05/28/2024
Edition description:	Unabridged

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