Are We Done Fighting?: Building Understanding in a World of Hate and Division

by Matthew Legge, George Lakey (Foreword by)

Overview

Powerful tools for spreading peace in your community

Unfounded beliefs and hateful political and social divisions that can cascade into violence are threatening to pull the world apart. Responding to fear and aggression strategically and with compassion is vital if we are to push back against the politics of hate and live in greater safety and harmony.

But how to do it?

Are We Done Fighting? is brimming with the latest research, practical activities, and inspirational stories of success for cultivating inner change and spreading peace at the community level and beyond. Coverage includes:

• An explanation of the different styles of conflict
• Cognitive biases that help explain polarized and lose-lose positions
• Practical methods and activities for changing our own and others' minds
• When punishment works and doesn't, and how to encourage discipline in children without using violence
• The skill of self-compassion and ways to reduce prejudice in ourselves and others
• Incredible programs that are rebuilding trust between people after genocide.

Packed with inspiration and cutting-edge findings from fields including neuroscience, social psychology, and behavioural economics, Are We Done Fighting? is an essential toolkit for activists, community and peace groups, and students and instructors working to build dialogue, understanding, and peace as the antidote to the politics of hate and division.

AWARDS

• SILVER | 2019 Nautilus Book Awards: Social Change & Social Justice

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780865719088
Publisher:	New Society Publishers
Publication date:	05/28/2019
Pages:	354
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.90(d)
Age Range:	16 Years

About the Author

Matthew Legge has worked in the nonprofit sector for the last 13 years, with a focus on helping people thrive through the full enjoyment of health, dignity, and rights. Since 2012, he has worked with Canadian Friends Service Committee (CFSC), the peace and social justice agency of the Religious Society of Friends in Canada (Quakers). Quakers are widely respected for their efforts to prevent war and transform conflicts, as well as their impartial support for war victims. As CFSC's Peace Program Coordinator, Matthew has had the opportunity to learn from Quakers across Canada and in the US, Europe, and Africa. He holds a degree in Anthropology from the Universityof Toronto and served for six years on the board of directors of the Ontario Council for International Cooperation, where he helped develop anti-oppression strategies. Matthew lives in Toronto, Canada.

Table of Contents

Foreword by George Lakey
About Quakers and the Author
Introduction
Using This Book
      Activity: Learning Contract or Journaling
      Activity: Your Values and a Special Person
      Activity: Your Strengths

Section 1: Peace and Power
1. What Peace is Not
      Tips from This Chapter
      Activity: Group Ideas — What Peace is Not
      Example: Experience Changes Beliefs in Kenya

2. Us and Others
      Tips from This Chapter
      Activity: Transforming Bias

3. Power-over
      Tips from This Chapter

4. Power-with and Power-from- within
      Tips from This Chapter
      Activity: Walk Around
      Activity: Find Your Power-from- within

5. Process and Change
      Tips from This Chapter
      Activity: Meeting an Unsympathetic Politician

Section 2: Communication Skills
6. Firm Belief
      Tips from This Chapter
      Activity: Decision Making
      Activity: Our Position

7. Treating Emotions with Care
      Tips from This Chapter
      Activity: Making Connections

8. Communication
      Tips from This Chapter
      Activity: Rewording a Conflict
      Activity: Concentric Circles
      Questions for This First Concentric Circles Activity

9. Conflict
      Tips from This Chapter
      Activity: What Would You Need?
      Example: Who Gets Recognized?

Section 3: Violence and Interpersonal Peace
10. Seeing Violence
      Tips from This Chapter

11. What's Natural?
      Tips from This Chapter

12. Safety
      Tips from This Chapter
      Activity: Accepting Everyone
      Example: The Nashville Sit-ins

13. When Hate Rises
      Tips from This Chapter
      Activity: Violence
      Example: Sammy Rangel

14. Violence in Social Change
      Tips from This Chapter
      Example: Elections in Idlib City
      Activity: Four Elements
      Activity: Follow the Leader

15. Who Benefits?
      Tips from This Chapter
      Activity: Mainstream and Margins

16. Oppressors and Victims
      Tips from This Chapter
      Example: Pronouns
      Activity: What's Changed So Far?

Section 4: Inner Peace
17. Connection
      Tips from This Chapter    

18. Changing Ourselves
      Tips from This Chapter
      Activity: Kindness Meditation
      Activity: Gratitude

Section 5: Structural Peace
19. Who's Dreaming?
      Tips from This Chapter

20. Just War, Just Peace, and Responsibility
      Tips from This Chapter
      Example: Healing and Rebuilding our Communities

21. Unarmed Civilian Protection
      Tips from This Chapter
      Example: Bear Clan Patrol
      Activity: De-escalation on the Subway

22. Mediation
      Tips from This Chapter
      Example: Concerned Citizens for Peace

23. Peace Education
      Tips from This Chapter
      Example: Power-with the Smallest Children?
      Activity: Peacebuilding Dreams
      Activity: What is Peace?

24. What Peace Is
      Tips from This Chapter

Appendix 1: What We Mean by a Culture of Peacebuilding
Appendix 2: The Basics of Facilitation
Notes
Index
About New Society Publishers

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

"A fresh, studious and very readable book on how to live peace in today's chaotic world. Matthew Legge's helpful hints for individual or group action are in the best Quaker tradition."
— Hon. Douglas Roche, O.C., former Senator and former Canadian Ambassador for Disarmament

"No, we are not done fighting, but we can fight in a better way. This book tells you how."
— Johan Galtung, founder of the academic discipline of Peace Studies, and founder, Transcend International

"I recommend this extremely inspirational, accessible study book with its extensive practical exercises. I love the way it accepts that peace is possible, so in an interdependent world, it is everyone's responsibility to create positive change that fosters sustainable peace."
— Professor Elisabeth Porter, Universityof South Australia

"This book is a joy....[it] offers new material (stories and science) to those who have been doing this work for years, and a great way into peace for those just getting started. I especially appreciate the group discussions and exercises. No one should do peacework alone."
— Stephanie Van Hook, Executive Director, Metta Center for Nonviolence

"...an invaluable contribution to the ongoing quest to ensure peacemaking rather than violence is utilised to resolve conflicts, be they between individuals, groups or nations."
— Andrew Feinstein, author The Shadow World: Inside the Global Arms Trade

"This transformative book presents a refreshing and innovative exploration of how to visualize and actualize peace in global society, in our families and relationships, and in our own minds."
— Douglas P. Fry, author, Beyond War, and co-author, Nurturing Our Humanity

"... a much-needed antidote to the risk of depression and despair. In page after page, and with a multitude of sources to back up the arguments, Matthew Legge gives us plenty of hope stemming from experience."
— Paul Rogers, Emeritus Professor, Peace Studies, Bradford University, UK

"This is the book many peace, justice, and reconciliation advocates have waited for. Enabling, practical, and clear-minded, Matthew Legge offers readers—individuals or groups—a road map to transform our deepest conflicts."
— Paul R. Dekar, Emeritus Professor and co-founder, Peace Studies program, McMaster University, Canada

"... exceptionally valuable and timely...Matthew Legge offers practical solutions that make a difference in our own lives and in the broader communities that surround us.... Not only to be read, but put into action."
— Alex Neve, O.C., human rights lawyer and Secretary General, Amnesty International Canada

"For those who are working to decrease the madness of violence and increase the sanity of peace, lock arms today with Matthew Legge. Tomorrow is too late."
— Colman McCarthy, Director, The Center for Teaching Peace, Washington D.C.