Read an Excerpt
As Southern As It Gets
1,071 Reasons to Never Leave the South
By H. Jackson Brown Jr. Thomas Nelson
Copyright © 2017 H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-7180-9811-7
CHAPTER 1
My Favorites
1. cheese grits
2. sweet tea
3. Charlie Daniels
4. the squeak of a rocking chair
5. country ham and red-eye gravy
6. Grand Ole Opry, Ryman Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
7. family reunions
8. grandmother's handwritten recipes
9. fried green tomatoes
10. blazes of azaleas
11. the always appropriate remark, "Well, bless your heart."
12. coming to the aid of neighbors
13. the evening serenade of a mockingbird
14. voracious fondness for pie
15. hymns you know by heart
16. banana pudding
17. shrimp 'n' grits
18. dogwood trees in full bloom
19. deviled eggs
20. checkers played with Coke and Pepsi bottle caps
"Southern writers have a great sense of place. That makes you write the truth. When you do that, people read it and say, 'You wrote my life.'"
~ Maggi Britton Vaughn, Tennessee's Poet Laureate "5 Famous Authors Share Quotes about the South," Parade
Everything Else from A to Z
22. about everyone you know has at least three snake stories
23. acceptance of eccentric relatives
24. accordions
25. Alan Jackson
26. Alan Tate
27. all-day singing and dinner on the grounds
28. alligators
29. all-you-can-eat fried catfish and hush puppy night
30. "Always on My Mind"
31. "Amazing Grace"
32. ambrosia
33. Amy Grant
34. Andrew Lytle
35. anduille sausage
36. Ann Patchett
37. Anne Rice
38. antique tractor shows
39. anything with a pecan crust
40. apple and peach turnovers
41. Appomattox Court House National Historic Park, Appomattox, Virginia
coonhounds
43. apricot preserves
44. Aretha Franklin
45. Arlington National Cemetery, near Washington, D.C.
46. asparagus casserole
47. Atlanta Aquarium, Atlanta, Georgia
48. attending funerals even though you hardly knew the departed
49. Augusta National Golf Course, Augusta, Georgia
50. authenticity
51. BABY NAMES: Caroline, Mary Grace, Nathan, Quinn, Savannah, Adelaide, Clementine, Noah, Chloe, Landon, Isabella, Ethan, Abigail
52. backyard vegetable gardens
53. bait shops
54. baked apricots
55. baked sweet potatoes
56. bald eagles
57. baloney sandwiches with a slice of onion and a little mustard
58. banana bread
59. barbeque "bark" crust
60. barbeque restaurants where none of the chairs match
61. barbecued shrimp
62. baskets of ferns hanging on the front porch
63. bass fishing tournaments
"Summer in the deep South is not only a season, a climate, it's a dimension. Floating in it, one must be either proud or submerged."
~ Eugene F. Walter The Untidy Pilgrim
"Land is the only thing in the world that amounts to anything ... 'Tis the only thing in this world that lasts ... 'Tis the only thing ... worth fighting for — worth dying for."
~ Margaret Mitchell Gone with the Wind
66. baton twirling contests
67. bay scallops
68. baying of a hound on scent
69. bayous
70. B. B. King and Lucille
71. beachfront cottages named Dream a While, Paradise Dunes, Sandy Toes
72. Beale Street, Memphis, Tennessee
73. beaten biscuits
74. beauty queens
75. beef jerky, deer jerky
76. beignets dusted with powdered sugar
77. Bellamy Brothers
78. Benedictine spread
79. Bermuda shorts, madras shirts, and Top Siders
dad's tackle box
81. Bessie Smith
82. Big Mama Thornton
83. Bill Anderson
84. Bill Elliott
85. Bill Monroe
86. bing cherry salad made with Coca-Cola
87. biscuits with sausage gravy
88. Bisquick
89. black beans
90. black bears
91. black iron skillet cornbread
92. black velvet portraits of Elvis
93. blackberry cobbler
94. Blackberry Farm, Walland, Tennessee
95. blackberry preserves
96. blackened redfish
97. "Blue Bayou"
98. "Blue Moon of Kentucky"
99. Blue Ridge Parkway, North Carolina
100. bluebird houses
101. Bluebird Café, Nashville, Tennessee
102. Bobbie Ann Mason
103. Bobby Allison
"Being Southern isn't talking with an accent ... or rocking on a porch while drinking sweet tea, or knowing how to tell a good story. It's how you're brought up — with Southerners, family (blood kin or not) is sacred; you respect others and are polite nearly to a fault; you always know your place but are fierce about your beliefs. And food — along with college football — is darn near a religion."
~ Jan Norris Quoted in Parties and Porches, by Brenda Murphy and Friends
105. Bobby Bare
106. Bobby Jones
107. boiled custard
108. boiled peanuts
109. Booker T. Washington National Monument, Hardy, Virginia
110. boot scootin'
111. Booth Western Art Museum, Cartersville, Georgia
112. bottle trees
113. bouillabaisse
114. box suppers
115. bread and butter pickles
116. bread pudding with vanilla sauce
117. breezeways
118. Brenda Lee
119. Bristol Motor Speedway, Bristol, Tennessee
120. brogans
121. buck dancin'
122. burgoo
123. Busch Gardens, Tampa, Florida
124. "busier than a Memphis lawyer on Judgment Day"
125. butter beans
baby chicks
127. Butterbean Festival, Pinson, Alabama
128. buttermilk pie
129. butterscotch pie
130. Cajun culture and zydeco music ("AIEEE")
131. calamine lotion
132. calling elders "Mr." and "Mrs."
133. Calloway Gardens, Pine Mountain, Georgia
134. camellias
135. candied pecans
136. candied yams
137. caramel cake
138. Carl Perkins
139. Carnton Plantation and Carter House, Franklin, Tennessee
140. Carolina Gold rice
141. Carolina jasmine
142. "Carolina on My Mind"
143. Carrie Underwood
144. carrot cake
145. Carson McCullers
146. cast-iron skillets
147. cat head biscuits
148. Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
149. "catawampus"
"Don't compromise yourself — you're all you have."
~ John Grisham The Rainmaker
151. catching fireflies in a Mason jar
152. cedar Christmas trees
153. cedar hope chests
154. cedar whittling sticks
155. chainsaw carving
156. char-grilled oysters
157. Charlie Louvin
158. Charlie Pride
159. Chattanooga Choo Choo, Chattanooga, Tennessee
160. Cheekwood Botanical Garden and Museum of Art, Nashville, Tennessee
161. cheerful clerks greeting you with: "Howdy, how are you? How can I help you?"
162. cheese straws
163. chenille bedspreads
164. cherry tomatoes stuffed with deviled ham
165. chess pie
166. Chet Atkins
167. chicken and dumplings
168. chicken fried in a black cast-iron skillet
fence posts hugged with honeysuckle vines
169. chicken-fried steak with milk gravy
171. ALL SOUTHERNERS KNOW A FEW CHICKEN JOKES: Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To prove to the possum that it could be done. Q. What happened when the hen ate a bag of cement? A. She laid a sidewalk. Q. Which day of the week do chickens fear most? A. Fry-day. Q. Why does a chicken coop have two doors? A. With four doors it would be a chicken sedan. Q. Why is it easy for chicks to talk? A. Because talk is cheep. Q. What do you get when you cross a chicken with a duck? A. Eggs and quackers. Q. How do baby chickens dance? A. Chick to chick.
172. chicken livers on rice
173. chicken salad
174. chicory coffee
175. chiggers (pound for pound the meanest creatures on earth)
176. chili cook-off festivals
177. chittlins
178. chivalry
179. chocolate cola cake
180. chocolate gravy
181. chow-chow relish
182. Chris Stapleton
183. Christmas at Biltmore, Asheville, North Carolina
184. Chuck Berry
185. church choirs
186. church committee ladies
187. church hand fans advertising the local funeral home
"Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud."
~ Maya Angelou Letter to My Daughter
banjos
190. "Church in the Wildwood"
191. church summer camp
192. church women's cookbooks
193. cicadas
194. City Park, New Orleans
195. classic Greek Revival homes
196. Clyde Edgerton
197. Coach Adolph Rupp
198. Coach "Bear" Bryant
199. Coach Dean Smith
200. Coach Ed Temple
201. Coach Mike Krzyzewski
202. "Coat of Many Colors"
203. Coca-Cola cake
204. coconut layer cake
205. cold, baked potato salad
"SEE ROCK CITY" painted on an old barn roof
207. collard greens
208. college football, "Roll Tide," "War Eagles," "Go Vols," "Hotty Toddy"
209. "come back" sauce
210. comforts of continuity
211. "Company's coming, add a cup of water to the soup."
212. conch fritters
213. concrete yard art
214. Connie Smith
215. considering mac 'n' cheese a vegetable
216. Conway Twitty
217. Cormac McCarthy
218. corn pudding
219. cornbread crumbled in a glass of buttermilk and eaten with an ice tea spoon
220. cornbread dressing
221. corncob jelly
222. country churches' Decoration Sunday
223. country fried steak
224. country ham biscuits perfected with a dab of orange marmalade
225. Country Music Hall of Fame, Nashville, Tennessee
226. county fair pig races
227. courthouse square cafés
"This is a place where grandmothers hold babies on their laps under the stars and whisper in their ears that the lights in the sky are holes in the floor of heaven."
~ Rick Bragg Somebody Told Me
229. courthouse squares
230. courthouse whittlers
231. covered dish suppers
232. crab apple jelly
233. crab boils
234. crab cakes
236. Cracker Barrel's cole slaw
235. crabmeat sardou
237. crawfish boils
238. crawfish jambalaya
239. cream corn
240. creative use of language
241. crepe myrtle
242. crickets chirping, owls hooting, frogs croaking
243. cruising Daytona's wide white beach
244. cryin and lonely sound of steel guitars
245. croppie fishing
246. Crystal Bridges Museum of American Art, Bentonville, Arkansas
247. cucumbers and onions (cukes 'n' onions)
248. "cute as a button"
249. cypress knees
250. "Dagnapit!"
first whiff of wood smoke from a mountain cabin
252. Dale Ann Bradley
253. Dale Earnhardt
254. Dale Earnhardt Jr.
255. damson preserves
256. "darker than the inside of a cow"
257. Darlington Raceway, Darlington, South Carolina
258. Daytona 500, Daytona Beach, Florida
259. débutantes
260. deep-sea fishing in the Gulf for billfish, blue martin and tarpon
261. Delta blues
262. Delta Blues Museum, Clarksdale, Mississippi
263. demolition derbies
264. Derby pie
265. desserts made with Ritz crackers
266. deviled egg serving plates
267. devotion to duty
268. devotion to family
269. "diddly squat"
270. dirty rice
271. divinity candy
272. "Dixieland Delight"
273. dobros
"I prefer my oyster fried. Then I'm sure my oyster died."
~ Roy Blount Jr. Save Room for Pie
275. dodging roadkill
276. DOGS RIDING SHOTGUN IN PICKUPS: Pokey, Tuna, Jacko, Hot Ticket, Zipper, T-Bone, Hoover, Gitup, Preacher, Sailor, Traveler, Chief, Pot Luck, Tinker, Duebill, Blue, Sarge, Turbo, Ranger, Soot, Jake, Belle, Reload, Delta
277. Dollywood, Pigeon Forge, Tennessee
278. Don Williams
279. "Don't get too big for your britches."
280. double-wides
281. dove season
282. Dr. Pepper (at 10-2-4 o'clock)
283. Dr. Ralph Stanley and the Clinch Mountain Boys
284. draft mules named Dan and John
285. dragonflies
286. Driving Miss Daisy
287. driving the truck that announces your personality
288. dry-rubbed baby back ribs
289. drystone stacked fences
290. dually trucks
291. duck calls
292. "Dueling Banjos"
293. Duke's Mayonnaise
294. dulcimers
swayin' front-porch swings
gourd bird houses
297. Durkee Famous Sauce
298. Earl Scruggs
299. Early Bird Specials, 4:00 till 5:30 p.m.
300. Eat-A-Snacks opened with your teeth
301. eating a perfectly ripe July Georgia peach while standing over the kitchen sink and letting the sweet juice run down your arm (This a "Sink Peach.")
302. Eddy Arnold
303. eggnog
304. egrets standing silently in a lagoon
305. Elvis
306. Elvis impersonators
307. Elvis's Graceland, Memphis, Tennessee
308. Emmylou Harris
309. end-of-the-dock seafood shacks
"Everybody is nothing until you love them."
~ Tennessee Williams The Rose Tattoo
"I did a lot of writing, writing, writing. The only thing I could think about was Louisiana. The body went to California but the soul remained here."
~ Ernest Gaines WALD News 10 Interview
312. Eric Church
313. Ernest Tubb
314. Everglades National Park, Florida
315. Everly Brothers
316. exploding colors of Atlanta in the spring
317. Expression of commitment: "Long as I've got a biscuit, you've got half."
318. factory outlets
319. families gathered for Sunday dinner after church
320. family Bibles
321. fatback
322. fathers carving the Thanksgiving turkey
323. fiddlers
324. fiddlers' jamborees
325. field peas
hand-cranked peach ice cream
"That sinuous southern life, that oblique and slow and complicated old beauty, that warm thick air and blood warm sea, that place of mists and languor and fragrant richness ..."
~ Anne Rivers Siddons Colony
328. "fields of cotton that spread to the horizon in snowy whiteness"
329. fig preserves
330. filé gumbo
331. first hint of fall
332. flamingos standing proud and flamboyant
333. flip flops
334. flirting
335. Florida Keys
336. Foggy Mountain Boys
337. "Foggy Mountain Breakdown"
338. Forrest Gump
339. Fort Sumter National Monument, Charleston, South Carolina
340. 4-H Clubs
341. fourth-grade Christmas pageants
sleeping soundly in a feather bed
343. fox hounds
344. Fox Theater, Atlanta, Georgia
345. Friday night high school football under the lights
346. fried chicken and waffles
347. fried chicken livers
348. fried dill pickle slices
349. Fried Green Tomatoes (the book and movie)
350. fried okra
351. fried pork chops (sometimes for breakfast)
352. fried shrimp with cocktail sauce
353. fried soft-shell crabs
354. Frito chili pie
355. frog giggin'
356. frolicking dolphins
357. fruit tea
358. Future Farmers of America
359. Gaither Vocal Band
360. gallantry of Southern men
361. gardenia corsages
362. Garth Brooks
363. Gatlin Brothers
364. gentility of Southern women
gently waving sea oats
366. "Gentle on My Mind"
367. George Jones
368. George Strait
369. Georgia Aquarium, Atlanta, Georgia
370. "Georgia on My Mind"
371. Georgia peaches topped with sweet cream
372. Georgia Sweet Potato Festival, Ocilla, Georgia
373. Georgia's offshore wild horses
374. getting out the good china when the preacher is invited to Sunday dinner
375. giblet gravy
376. girls nicknamed "Sista"
377. "gimme some sugar"
378. gimmie caps
379. GIRLS' DOUBLE FIRST NAMES: Bonnie Sue, Peggy Sue, Bonnie Jean, Jean Louise, Gloria Jean, Ida Lou, Thelma Lou, Barbara Sue, Thelma Louise, Lilly Mae, Mary Claire, Ella Kay, Bobby Lynn, Sarah Beth, Mary Louise, Anna Mae, Georgia Rose, Olive Jean, Mary Belle
380. giving thanks before meals
381. Glen Campbell
382. gliding formations of pelicans
383. golf cart parades
"Don't give up before the miracle happens."
~ Fannie Flagg I Still Dream About You
385. Gone with the Wind (the book, movie, and movie theme)
386. Goo Goo Clusters
387. gospel quartets
388. GRANDDAD'S SAYIN'S: A biscuit ain't a biscuit 'less there's gravy on it"; "happier than a moth in a mitten"; "more annoying than a reunion of Yankees"
389. Grandfather Mountain Highland Games and Gathering O' Scottish Clans, Linville, North Carolina
390. grandmothers in aprons
391. grape jelly meatballs
392. Grapette
393. gravel parking lot at the American Legion
394. great barbecue debates
395. green bean casseroles made with cream of mushroom soup and topped with French fried onion rings
396. green tomato pickles
397. grilled oysters
398. grilled red fish
399. grouper sandwiches
400. "guitar pulls"
401. gulls resting on pier posts
402. ham hock and black-eyed peas
403. hand fishin' (noodling)
404. hand-crafted dulcimers
harmonicas
406. HANDMADE QUILT PATTERNS: Double Wedding Rings, House on a Hill, Steps to the Altar, Grandmother's Flower Garden, Indian Trail, Old Maid's Puzzle
407. hand-woven sawgrass baskets
408. hand-woven white oak baskets
409. "handier than a pocket on a shirt"
410. Hank Snow
411. Hank Williams
412. "happy as a dog with two tails"
(Continues...)
Excerpted from As Southern As It Gets by H. Jackson Brown Jr.. Copyright © 2017 H. Jackson Brown, Jr.. Excerpted by permission of Thomas Nelson.
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