Ask: Building Consent Culture

by Kitty Stryker, Carol Queen (Afterword), Laurie Penny (Foreword by)

Overview

Have you ever heard the phrase “It’s easier to ask forgiveness than permission?” Violating consent isn’t limited to sexual relationships, and our discussions around consent shouldn’t be, either. To resist rape culture, we need a consent culture—and one that is more than just reactionary. Left confined to intimate spaces, consent will atrophy as theory that is never put into practice. The multi-layered power disparities of today’s world require a response sensitive to a wide range of lived experiences.  In Ask, Kitty Stryker assembles a retinue of writers, journalists, and activists to examine how a cultural politic centered on consent can empower us outside the bedroom, whether it’s at the doctor’s office, interacting with law enforcement, or calling out financial abuse within radical communities. More than a collection of essays, Ask is a testimony and guide on the role that negated consent plays in our lives, examining how we can take those first steps to reclaim it from institutionalized power.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781944934255
Publisher:	Thornapple Press
Publication date:	10/27/2017
Pages:	224
Sales rank:	883,602
Product dimensions:	5.10(w) x 7.90(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Kitty Stryker is a writer, activist and authority on developing a consent culture in alternative communities. She is the founder of ConsentCulture.com and the editor of Ask: Building Consent Culture.

Table of Contents

Foreword – Laurie PennyIntroduction – Kitty StrykerIN THE BEDROOMSex and Love When You Hate Yourself and Don’t Have Your Shit Together – JoEllen NotteThe Legal Framework of Consent Is Worthless – AV FloxThe Political Is Personal: A Critique of What Popular Culture Teaches About Consent (and How to Fix It) – Porscha ColemanIN THE SCHOOLRehearsing Consent Culture: Revolutionary Playtime – Richard M. WrightThe Power of Men Teaching Men – Shawn D. TaylorThe Green Eggs and Ham Scam – Cherry ZonkowskiIN THE JAILResponding to Sexual Harms in Communities: Who Pays and Who Cares? – Alex DymockThe Kids Aren’t All Right: Consent and Our Miranda Rights – Navarre OvertonJust Passing By – Roz KaveneyIN THE WORKPLACE“Ethical Porn” Starts When You Pay for It – Jiz LeeThere’s No Rulebook for This – Tobi Hill-MeyerService with a Smile Is Not Consent – Cameryn MooreIN THE HOMEConsent Culture Begins at Home – Eve Rickert and Franklin VeauxBodily Autonomy for Kids – Akilah S. RichardsTo Keep a Roof Over my Head, I Consented to Delaying my Transition – Laura Kate DaleIN THE HOSPITALGiving Birth When Black – Takeallah RiveraFatphobia and Consent: How Social Stigma Mitigates Fat Women’s Autonomy – Virgie TovarWrestling with Consent (and Also Other Wrestlers) – Jetta RaeIN THE COMMUNITYGames, Role-Playing, and Consent – Kate FractalTrouble, Lies, and White Fragility: Tips for White People – Cinnamon MaxxineSleeping with Fishes: A Skinny Dip into Sex Parties – Zev Ubu HoffmanSex Is a Life Skill: Sex Ed for the Neuroatypical – Sez ThomasinAfterword – Carol Queen

Editorial Reviews

"Ask is a good and definitely past-due read extending the idea of consent beyond the 'yes means yes' framework, with pieces exploring, in various ways, what it means to create consent cultures in a world that is overwhelmingly coercive." —Reina Gattuso, feministing.com


"Like you, I have good intentions. Like you, I know some things about consent. But I thought I knew a lot more. And if there’s one successful barometer of a book like this, it’s how many ‘a-ha’ moments it contains. If you’re anything like me you will find a lot of them in this book–some enlightening and pleasurable, many more uncomfortable and several downright horrific, especially as you realise your own crimes and also how many times your own consent has been violated. But you’ve got to start somewhere and that somewhere is here." —Louisa Leontiades, thebodyisnotanapology.com


"This is not a handbook, but a wonderful guide that suggests new ideas about social awareness and responsibility." —Claire Foster, Foreword Reviews


"The collection will prove a useful addition to the toolkit for those who are working towards not just towards sexual equality, but equity in all areas of public life." —Sofia Kaufman, michigandaily.com


"As Kitty Stryker, an anti-fascist activist, queer sex educator, and frequent writer on the topic of consent notes in the introduction to Ask, 'Most books I found about rape culture and consent were written by and for middle-class, white, cisgender women.' She was determined to bring together one that centered trans and non-binary writers of color. But the book is not only inclusive in its authorship, it's also expansive in it's coverage of the multiplicity of contexts in which consent is important—most of which are typically overlooked. The anthology, which was published by Thorntree Press in late October, includes 'Fatphobia and Consent: How Social Stigma Mitigates Fat Women’s Autonomy' by Virgie Tovar, 'Giving Birth When Black' by Takeallah Rivera, 'The Kids Aren’t All Right: Consent and Our Miranda Rights' by Navarre Overton, and 27 other essays that range in setting from sex parties to the service industry. At a time when every conversation seems to be about consent (or lack thereof, rather), it’s a collection that actually adds to the discussion in crucial ways, and would prove enriching even to those who consider themselves pros at discussing sex, consent, and feminism." —Sarah Burke, broadly.vice.com


"Foreword Review's 2017 INDIES winner: honorable mention for women's studies." —www.forewordreviews.com

From the Publisher

★ 10/15/2017
A vibrant treatise from the very first page, this radical collection provides a multifaceted view of consent as an essential concept in not only the bedroom but in the realms of politics, technology, education, and society overall. The slim text is surprisingly rich and contains a wealth of diverse contributors; essays are segmented into spheres including "In the Bedroom," "In the Home," and "In the Jail." Meditations range from AV Flox's critique of the inherent flaws in the U.S. legal system's punishment-based model and static idea of consent to Cherry Zonkowski's challenge of coercive educational authority in the classroom as a feminist teacher. Additional highlights include Navarre Overton's essay on the murky nature of the Miranda Rights, Takeallah Rivera's impassioned criticism of enforced Westernized birth practices, and Akilah S. Richards's piece on establishing boundaries and body autonomy with two young daughters. The essay portion closes with Sez Thomasin's poignant discussion of sexuality and neurodiversity, and a helpful resource list for readers interested in continuing the consent conversation rounds out the title's conclusion. VERDICT Thought-provoking from start to finish, this timely, critical text deserves a place in all nonfiction collections.—Ashleigh Williams, School Library Journal

Library Journal