Read an Excerpt
Chapter One
Spiritual Intelligence—Connecting to the Bigger Picture
Life is about relationship—the relationship we have with ourselves, with each other, with the world, as well as the connection to that which is beyond any of us yet immanent in each of us. When our relationships are good, we feel good; when they are bad, we feel awful. Let's accept it. We need each other. We need to feel connected; we need to feel each other's presence and love.
The most ancient scriptures of India say that we are all part of a universal web of light. Each of us is a glowing, shining, mirrorlike jewel reflecting and containing the light of the whole. All in one. One in all. We are never disconnected from the whole. This intrinsic knowledge of our place in the greater picture is part of our spiritual DNA, our original software—or "heartware."
Nonetheless, at one time or another most of us feel disconnected from this knowledge of our place in the great web of being. We lose sight of where we belong, and instead, we experience intense feelings of loneliness, alienation, and confusion. Trying to find the way back to our place in the whole is what the spiritual seeker's search is all about. It represents a journey home to who we are.
How about you? Do you ever suffer from a sense that you are lost and wandering—almost as though you have been through some kind of an emotional holocaust? Most of us here in America are very fortunate. We have little idea of what it's like to live in a war-torn country. Even so, from the safety of your own secure home, do you sometimes feel as though you have an uncanny sense of what it must feel like to be a displaced person—unsafe and at the mercy of strangers? Mother Teresa said, "The biggest problem facing the world today is not people dying in the streets of Calcutta, and not inflation, but spiritual deprivation . . . this feeling of emptiness associated with feeling separate from God, and from all our sisters and brothers on planet earth." "Loneliness," she said, "is like the leprosy of the West."
Mother Teresa was talking about the pain associated with feelings of isolation and separateness. These feelings are common to mankind. They can overtake any one of us in a heartbeat, even in the very midst of happiness and joy. Loneliness implies a lack of meaningful connection. For most people, it is a familiar travelling companion. Even when we're surrounded by people we know, we can feel separate and apart. Separate from what, we might ask? Separate from others, separate from ourselves, separate from the Divine, separate from meaning, separate from love. Separate from a sense of belonging.
The promise of spiritual life is that we will be able to heal these feelings through love and an experiential understanding of the essential interconnectedness of all beings. The Dalai Lama of Tibet, for example, often says that no matter how many new faces he sees each day, he never feels as though he is meeting anyone for the first time. That's because the Dalai Lama knows that every single one of us is on an infinite journey that began aeons ago. According to Tibetan Buddhism we have each had so many births that in all probability our paths have crossed time and time again. Wondrously connected one to the other, we have been for each other brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, children, fathers, mothers, and mates. At the heart of Tibetan Buddhism is this belief: Each person we meet has at one time been a close, caring family member and should be treated with the respect and love such a relationship deserves.
Don't we all need to feel the light and warmth that emanates from others? Don't we all want true love? Don't we all hunger for genuine communication, and deeper and more authentic connections? Don't we all recognize that the quality of our individual lives is determined by the quality of our relationships both external and internal? When our relationships are superficial, we feel as though we are leading superficial lives; when our relationships reflect our deeper commitments and aspirations, we feel as though we are walking a more meaningful and satisfying path.
Love comes through relating. That's why we must connect.
Connecting to the sacred in our relationships is a way of satisfying our spiritual hunger with love—thus nurturing ourselves, as well as nourishing the world. For just a minute, stop and think about your relationships. Think about all those with whom you interact—at home, at work, and in the community. Think about family, friends, coworkers, and even those with whom you have only a nodding acquaintance. Don't leave anybody out, not even your pets. Whenever you think about the important relationships in your life, remember that each of us also has a connection with the natural world and all the wild creatures that live on our planet—as well as with the planet itself.
Some of our relationships seem deep and meaningful; others are merely casual. But on a spiritual level, they are all important; they can all be deepened and improved. Relationships are essential for ongoing spiritual growth and development. They help us find meaning and purpose; they help us experience love—human as well as divine. Learning to love is the first lesson in Spirituality 101. The connections we make as we live our incredible lives offer us the opportunity to acknowledge and connect to the divine in ourselves as well as in others. Ask yourself: Who did you love today?
Although spiritual seekers and saints historically have often been associated with self-sacrifice and reclusive, solitary lifestyles (often monastic, and frequently cloistered), here in the modern world, other traditions and styles of spirituality are emerging. Contemporary seekers realize that we can't retreat permanently; it is not very helpful to pass negative judgments on worldly values. Instead we need to find new and better ways of walking the soulful path of awakening, by integrating the heart of love in every aspect of our lives. In this way we learn to dance gracefully with life.
It is a fundamental Buddhist tenet as well as a larger, more general fact of life that we are all interconnected and interdependent on each other. I find it very gratifying to see that so many Western seekers and students of truth and Dharma are sincerely striving to combine social activism with spiritual growth. As seekers, we want to find ways to do spiritual work within our relationships. We aspire to help improve the quality of our own lives as well as the lives of those around us. In this way we are hopeful that we will be better able to live in congruence with our most deeply held inner principles and values. We who inhabit this planet all share a common karma as well as a common ground. We already live together; we need to learn to work together. We need to learn to love others—even those we may not like. This is the greatest challenge of all.
For the sake of clarity, Tibetan teachings traditionally divide our spiritual efforts and practices into two categories:
* Inner—those efforts we make primarily for ourselves
* Outer—those efforts we make primarily for the benefit of others and the world around us
The inner-directed goal of a spiritual life is to realize the innate purity and primordial perfection in each of us. This expresses itself in how we see—and treat—ourselves. Through inner work, we realize the truth, wisdom, clarity, and peace of mind that is latent in each of us. No one else can give it to us or provide it for us. We must find it for ourselves.
The outer goal expresses itself in how we feel about others, how we perceive them, as well as how we treat them. By learning to better love and care for ourselves as well as each other, we get closer to that which is greater than any one of us. When we serve and foster one soul, we serve the whole world. This is spiritual connection. Through spiritual practice, we connect in all directions at once—a little like tuning into some vast cosmic Internet. As we refine our outer and inner efforts, becoming more and more skillful through practice, we realize that these efforts are one. The great naturalist John Muir once said, "I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in."
What does this mean for us day to day as we go about our lives at home, in the office, or at the shopping mall? As seekers, we want to be able to improve our relationships at work; we want personal connections that bring us the abundance and joy they initially promise. How can we grow together spiritually with the people we care about? How can we share meditation, silence, song, and prayer with those we love? How can we spiritually enrich every relationship?
We all have special bonds with certain people, including those we may even think of as "soul mates." But what about the bonds we share with people we don't love or respect? What about people toward whom we feel anger, annoyance, distrust, and contempt? What can we learn from those we love as well as those we don't? Can we, for example, learn to love people we don't even like? Buddhist teachings tell us that all of our bonds are sacred; they remind us that sometimes our adversaries provide us with the most precious teachings. We never really do anything alone; we always have help, even though sometimes that help comes in very strange forms. We are surrounded by an array of helping, loving hands.
One of the most difficult things we all struggle with are feelings of existential despair—a sense that there is little or no meaning or purpose to our existence. Sometimes it just all seems too much, and we lose our sense of place, our feeling of fitting in, of being understood, of belonging. As much as we may be rushing here and there, we don't always know where we are going. We haven't found our bearings, the polestar of our existence. We just keep on keepin' on with no respite in sight.
Spiritual teachings universally remind us that we are integral and essential parts of a greater pattern. There is an exquisite meaning and coherence to life. I'm not talking now about a perfectly ordered theistic universe or a fixed destiny. What I'm describing are cosmic principles and universal laws that are always at work. I believe we can discover and align ourselves with these principles, perhaps even become masters of them. No matter how lost we may be, it is possible to find our place within the whole. We can get "there" from here—wherever here may be for you right now. "Here," after all, is within the word "there."
Life sometimes seems so chaotic, like a terrifying maelstrom that exists only to whip us about. But in truth, it's really more like a mandala or hologram. There are constellations, patterns, and even directions to be found within the vastness and mystery of it all. At the end of my freshman year of college, I came back to stay with my parents on Long Island, and I took a summer job at a law firm in Manhattan. I remember what it felt like on my commute to work each morning, popping out of a subterranean, dark, Bosch-like netherworld of subways and train tunnels, not knowing exactly where I was. During my first days at my job, I walked out onto the teeming streets during lunch hour, and all I knew was that I was someplace in midtown, whatever that meant. People were swirling around like floodwaters in those concrete canyons amidst skyscrapers that were so densely constructed that even at midday, the sun was completely hidden. I had no orientation, no sense of direction. Where was I? I remember walking around with no idea of where I was going, feeling somewhat nervous that I would not find my way back to the office, and then suddenly I came upon a bus stop and a blow-up map of Manhattan. I saw that if I wanted to amble, it was just a short walk to Central Park and an easy stroll to the Museum of Modern Art. Rockefeller Center was just a block or two away, and if I wanted to venture further after work, I could get on the Fifth Avenue bus and go straight down to Greenwich Village, a favorite teenage haunt of mine. The large blow-up subway map provided me with a view from above, instantly rescuing me from the bewildered feeling that I was lost in a maze. I knew where I was, and I knew what was around me, and I saw how it all fit together.
Spiritually speaking, we've all experienced feelings of being so lost in the dense thickets of our lives that we can't see the paths or figure out how large the forest really is. At those times we lack an overview, a world map, an awareness of the bigger picture. But some people seem to have a deeper and better sense of who they are, where they are standing, and where they are going. They seem to have a better sense of how to navigate the highways and byways of life without losing their way. Simply put, they seem to have a better sense of their spiritual center. This is like having an internal compass, an internal true-ing device.
FINDING A SPIRITUAL CENTER
Just as the unexamined life is a life poorly lived, no life is complete without some effort to connect with the deeper meaning of our existence. Whether we are Jewish, Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim, or non-believer, we all have spiritual DNA; that graceful, radiant inner spiral connects us above and below, leading both within and without.
When we, as seekers, begin to reconnect more deeply with our loving hearts—our spiritual centers—we begin to achieve greater realization of the profound wisdom and intuitive awareness that is a natural part of each of us. This is spiritual intelligence; it naturally recognizes the heart connection and the inseparability of self and other.
When we take standard IQ tests, what we're being tested for is our ability to see the connections between things—numbers, words, mathematical concepts, and geometric shapes. Spiritual intelligence is very similar. People whose spiritual intelligence is highly developed are able to see the connecting patterns and principles that help create meaning and order out of the seeming chaos of life. Spiritual intelligence gives us the wisdom to see the relationship between the whole and its many parts, the one and the many, the ordinary and the extraordinary, the mundane and the divine, the light and its shadow. Spiritual intelligence is existential awareness.
