Becoming Who I Am: Reflections on Wholeness and Embracing Our Divine Stories
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Becoming Who I Am: Reflections on Wholeness and Embracing Our Divine Stories
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Overview
Love yourself by telling your story.
Our stories anchor us as we experience the vicissitudes of life. They strengthen us, inspire us, and encourage us as we grow older. This book offers Jesus’ story as a real-life mirror to our own stories, ultimately making God’s story, our story, and our story, God's story. From Begotten, to Suffering Death, to Glory, and the Life of the World to Come, the author uses spiritual reflections, poetry, and the Nicene Creed to give new meaning to real-life circumstances of identity, pain, family life, dealing with depression, and ultimate healing.
Becoming Who I Am encourages us to embrace and tell our whole stories and to discover our divine capacity for true life transformation and joy.
Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9780819231802 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | Morehouse Publishing |
| Publication date: | 09/01/2015 |
| Sold by: | Barnes & Noble |
| Format: | eBook |
| Pages: | 112 |
| File size: | 205 KB |
About the Author
Read an Excerpt
Becoming Who I Am
Reflections on Wholeness and Embracing Our Divine Stories
By Beth-Sarah Wright
Church Publishing Incorporated
Copyright © 2015 Beth-Sarah WrightAll rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-8192-3180-2
CHAPTER 1
PART 1 Begotten
OUR BEGINNING
Our stories begin with our divine creation.
Enhanced and developed by our birthplace, our
upbringing, our families. We grow. We change.
We experience.
Change remains constant. God remains unchanged.
No matter what, we are enough! All that we need,
by God's dream, is already bundled
in our human flesh.
Trust it. Access it. Learn from it. Rest in it.
Change remains constant. God remains unchanged.
ON THIS DAY ...
The sweet waters of baptism wash over me
God calls to me and gives me hope
And I have a new life in Jesus Christ!
On this day
He takes my hand and walks with me as I grow
He teaches me his ways and I will joyfully follow him
He forgives me and gives me a clean heart!
On this day
All who stand with me,
Promise to show me the light
And I will shine for all to see!
Thank you, God, for this day and for this new chance to know you, to serve you, and to love you more!
* * *
"By baptism ... we too might walk in newness of life." (Romans 6:4)
DIS A WHO WI BE!
(Dis a who Mi be!)
Wi likkle but wi tallawah! Brought here in chains from the African land of our mothers and fathers; Wi fight di good fight; wi fierce and wi powerful; and wid cunning and resistance we run run run away to di mountaintops and survive, thrive, and live in freedom We are di maroons of Suriname, Jamaica, Barbados; we are the inimitable Queen Nanny, leader of the maroons; A woman who when she a fight di British man she catch di bullets dem inna her bottom and den spit dem back out!
Dis a who wi be!
We remember di Black Jacobins; Toussaint L'Ouverture in Haiti with his African spirit who fought the British, the French, and the Americans and won! The First independent black republic in the world.
Dis a who wi be!
Den come wi Emancipation! Independence! Goodbye Union Jack; Hello to di red, black, and white flag of Trinidad and Tobago and di rising sun in di blue, white, and black flag of Antigua and Barbuda.
Colours dat speak to di energy of di sun and sea and lands Colours dat speak to di strength, purpose, and unity of a unique people Colours dat speak to a new national identity. Black, Chinese, Indian, Syrian, Dougla; Out of many, One people! Wi speak di H-inglish, Patois, Dutch, Español, Français, Papamiento, Creole; our language, our words, our existence; "sak passé, nah boule!"
Dis a who wi be!
Wi remember di African riddims dat live deep inna wi belly, inna wi hips; inna wi waist and we dance yes wi dance away wi pain wid di limbo, mento, Ska; we whine a new existence wid wi carnival; Jouvet! Jouvet! Wid di soca, calypso, zouk, rip saw, chutney music; dancehall and di reggae
Yes! reggae mi dis and reggae mi dat!
Dis a who wi be!
Wi remember di words of Aimé Césaire, Léon Damas et les autres qui vient de les isles que parle le français comme Guadeloupe et Martinique et French Guyana. Writers, poets, intellectuals who raised up la Négritude — the acceptance, appreciation, and celebration of the historical and cultural experience of all black people.
Wi listen to di stories of Brer Anancy and Brer Rabbit who teach us creative and ingenious ways of surviving inna dis ya world.
Dis a who wi be!
Wi remember di power of singer Bob Marley; PanAfricanist Marcus Garvey; Nobel Laureate Derek Walcott; philosopher C. L. R. James; legendary cricketers Sir Garfield Sobers and Brian Lara; revolutionary Walter Rodney; writer V. S. Naipaul; poet and national heroine, The Honorable Louise Bennett or Miss Lou; healer during the Crimean War, nurse Mary Seacole; defender and heroine of Methodism in Barbados, Sarah Ann Gill; we remember all these and many many more who spread the infectious riddims of our Caribbean spirit to the farthest corners of the world.
Dis a who wi be!
Wi remember when di Maroons dig di holes inna di ground and cover dem to cook di meat so the smoke would not rise and reveal dem hiding place and we get jerk! Jerk pork, jerk fish, jerk chicken; we remember di sweetness of sapodilla, naseberry, pomerac, otaheite apple, mangoes — julie mango, number 11 mango, black skin mango, East Indian mango; yes we remember callaloo, rice pelau, curry goat, curry chicken, mannish water good fi yu dawta; paw paw balls, roti; coconut bake; banana fritter, conch fritter, saltfish fritter; and of course di sweet, sweet, sweet dumpling.
Dis a who wi be!
Wi remember di indomitable spirit of Jah! We are Catholic, Methodist, Seven Day Adventist, Anglican; We are Hindu, Muslim, Rastafari, Vodun, Pocomania, Obeah; Dese are all o di ways we talk about dis one God who created us; dis one God who placed us in the sun-kissed islands nestled in crystal blue waters and glistening white sand; Yes dis one God who strengthens us and gives us hope and courage in the face of our challenges; Dis one God who made us likkle but tallawah!
Tank you God! Bon Ye Bon, Jah Live! God is good!
Dis a who wi be! Dis a who wi be! Dis a who wi be!
SOUNDS OF HOME
This poem was inspired by my mother who told me that when she first went to live abroad in England she could not sleep because it was too quiet! There were no sounds of the crickets singing at night in the bushes. No familiar sounds of home.
Having lived myself outside of Jamaica since I was 15, I too often think of these sounds of home.
And so I dedicate this poem to my mother and to Miss Lou, our national poet, who always performed her poetry in Jamaican patois, the inimitable sound of home.
You may not understand everything but that's ok. Just listen to the rhythms and the cadence of the words. These are my sounds of home.
* * *
But is what yu a tell mi? Yu seh dat di pitty pitty gyal
dem a sussu pon mi?
Eh Eh! Cheeeuuups!
Mi no like dat at all. Dem should a know betta!
Cick cick cick
Dem tink seh me come a foreign and den figet bout
where mi come from.
But mek mi tell yu someting, mi remembah everything
because it inna mi head, inna mi blood, inna mi bone.
Mi remembah di machete a cheng cheng a cut down
di sweet sugarcane and a shing cross di coconut to
pour out di cool cool water.
Mi remembah di swish swish of the seawater on
the soft sand early inna di morning under di radiant
sunrise
Mi remembah di budumbup of di mango dem a drop
pon mi rooftop
Mi remembah di chorus of di cricket dem singing at
nighttime inna di bushes
Yes mi remembah because it inna mi head, inna mi blood, inna mi bone.
Mi remembah mi mama seh "pull han" when mi
reach inna di pot to steal a sweet dumpling
Mi remembah di man a sell peanutsssss peanutssss,
wrigleys fruitella peanutsssss
Mi remembah when di bredren a play football
dem seh "pass di ball!" "No man a wha yu a do?"
Salaaad! Goooaaal!!!
Mi remembah pon di bus dem shout "one stop driver!
Let me off ya so!"
And when dem a play dominoes mi remembah when
dem seh "How much card yu have? A who I gwine
sop tonight? Serve mi a Heineken! Heineken!
Heineken!!!"
inna mi blood, inna mi bone
Yes, mi remembah because it inna mi head, inna mi blood, inna mi bone
Mi remembah di riddim of the sound system a mm
mm mm inna di distance
Mi remembah di ping ping and di pong pong of the
rain a fall pon di zinc roof top
Mi remembah di squis squis squis of the clothes a
wash pon di river bed
Yes mi remembah because it inna mi head, inna mi blood, inna mi bone
Mi remembah because mi know seh it important to
me to feel like meself
Mi remembah because it make me feel whole inside
Mi remembah because di riddims dat move mi body,
dat move deep inna mi hips, inna mi belly come from
one place, one sweet sweet place, a place dat mi
would never figet and dat deh place mi call home.
A place where mi cyan remembah mi.
Inna mi head, inna mi blood, inna mi bone.
WHAT DO YOU DO WITH
GOD'S DREAM FOR YOU?
When God appeared to Moses,
Wild bush enflamed
God had a dream for him
A dream of being a savior, a ruler
A dream of freedom and of parting waters
Yet even with this dream from the lips of God,
Doubt poured from Moses's mouth,
"Who am I to lead the people out of Egypt?"
What do YOU do with God's
dream for you?
And when God's people roamed the fertile
land God dreamed for them
After shackles fell from their ankles and wrists
and columns of fire protected them
Words of ingratitude fell from their lips
"If only the Lord had killed us back in Egypt."
What do YOU do with God's
dream for you?
When Jesus, bare feet resting on water,
Calls to Peter, "Don't be afraid. Take courage.
I am here."
Peter steps out but soon succumbs to the fear
of strong wind and waves and begins to sink.
"Save me, Lord!" he pleads.
With arm outstretched, Jesus says, "You have
so little faith, why did you doubt me?"
What do YOU do with God's
dream for you?
When God whispers to a blade of grass to
"grow,"
Does the blade answer "No, Not I"?
When the fowls of the air hunger in their belly
Do they cry out in fear?
Consider the lilies of the field and how they
grow; They don't work or make their clothing
yet are resplendent in their glorious array.
Consider the wounded wild animal, how it
heals, restores, recovers in God's hands
and in God's time
Consider the dream God has for you
Pay attention
Listen for God's dream
Embrace God's dream.
Live into God's dream!
A DREAM PRAYER
God, may your dream for me become my life.
Selah!
PART 2 Light from Light
I AM THE LIGHT
When I was about 13 years old and would have bad dreams and couldn't sleep, my father would open the small Bible I had at my bedside to Psalm 27. He said, "Before you put your head on the pillow, read this psalm and you will not be afraid. 'The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?'" I still remember the calm that would flow over my body as I would lay my head down and close my eyes. It was so reassuring, so empowering. For many years, that may have been the only part of Scripture I read! It accompanied me in the days my soul yearned and hungered for my home when first I lived abroad in Scotland. It brought me confidence before every audition for a school play or before performing a poem on stage. It reassured me before taking a final exam. It flew with me on every airplane, to places like San Juan, Puerto Rico, where I lived and worked as a waitress and artist just so I could learn Spanish; to places like Cambridge, England, where I would not only have my first academic publication, but would meet a man walking down the street who would become my husband and father to my children. It pilfered its way into the operating room when I lay on my back awaiting C-sections to welcome our children into the world.
"The Lord is my LIGHT and my salvation." With this light, the light of God, there is no room for fear. There is no room for darkness. And because we are all children of God, we have this light too! We have the awesome opportunity and indeed responsibility to shine this light; in our very beings; in our words, our thoughts, our actions. It pierces darkness with such ease and so little is needed to make a difference. But sometimes we find that we stifle our own light, desperately squelching it with self-doubt, low self-esteem, lack of self-worth. And yes, others may also try with harsh words and loveless tones to extinguish our light. But the ingenious thing about that divine light is that it yearns to shine, it longs to be seen. No matter what, the light remains, unwavering. Light will always make a way. Let it be free. It is contagious, you know. Let your light shine!
* * *
"Keep your eyes open, your lamp burning, so you don't get musty and murky. Keep your life as well-lighted as your best-lighted room." (Luke 11:33–36)
In memory of my father, Keith Panton (November 2, 1935 — February 18, 2015), whose light shines perpetually in our hearts.
DARE TO BE DIFFERENT
"Dare to be different and to follow your own star." Growing up, these words were written on a poster hung in my room. They were particularly encouraging being the only sister of two older brothers before my baby sister came along 6 years later. And they were important in learning how to thrive, not just survive, in the fishbowl in which my family lived. You see, I grew up in a small town in the cool hills of Mandeville, Jamaica, where my father was not only the first Jamaican CEO of a large multinational company, but also a priest in the Anglican church; and where my mother was not only a consummate host and partner to my father, but the matron of the hospital, president of the PTA for as long as I can remember, and an immaculate voice on the national radio. They gave "ubiquitous" new meaning! Many eyes were on my family and that meant certain expectations and often misguided assumptions about who we were. "Daring to be different and following my own star" seemed to be an ideal way of finding my own voice separate and apart from other's expectations of me.
"Daring to be different" meant graduating from high school at 15 to attend a boys' school in Edinburgh, Scotland. Four hundred boys and 20 girls! And the only black girl there. "Daring to be different" meant being one of the first girls to join the school's Scottish army to become a lance corporal. "Daring to be different" meant travelling to faraway places like Cyprus, Egypt, and Israel to discover more of this remarkable world.
Taking risks and following the road less travelled were certainly some ways to follow my own star, but as I grew older I encountered the astonishing fact that the star was not really my own, but God's. And it became clearer and clearer that if I let go of where I think (and truth be told "want") my star should go, the star will lead me in the direction I am supposed to go. My star didn't matter as much anymore as the star became more apparent.
"Thy will be done," Mary said when she was told she would be the mother to a son who would be called the Christ. Talk about daring to be different! Here was an unwed teenaged girl, visited by an angel sent by God who tells her quite unexpectedly that she is to be the mother to the Messiah. And in the face of this grave uncertainty, fear, and the potential of persecution by her family and her betrothed, this young woman, with courage, says yes to God! When I came to fully grasp all of what that meant, daring to be different took on completely new meaning!
Daring to be different means moving beyond the fear to embrace possibility. Daring to be different means listening, being still and listening. Daring to be different means recognizing purpose and meaning. Daring to be different means seeing God in everything, even in the uncertainty of life. Daring to be different means becoming more fully who we are. Daring to be different means offering ourselves to be the difference/create a difference/see a difference in the world. Daring to be different means partnering with and following a new star, God's star.
* * *
An Excerpt from the Talmud
Live each day to the fullest. Get the most from each hour, each day, and each age of your life. Then you can look forward with confidence and back without regret. Be yourself, but be your best self! Dare to be different and to follow your own star. And don't be afraid to be happy. Enjoy what is beautiful. Love with all your heart and soul.
SEND ME
I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?" Then I said, "Here I am; send me." (Isaiah 6:8)
Lord, I unite with you to be an instrument of
confidence, conviction, and courage for myself,
in my family, my community and in the world.
Send me
As I arise taking the first breath of the day
and opening my eyes to a glorious sunrise, I come
into the morning aware of your presence, your grace,
and your blessing of life.
Send me
As I begin this day, I go to my special place to be
with you, to spend time alone with you, where I may
praise you, draw closer to you, and listen to you
through your word and prayer.
I go into the shower to cleanse, care for, embrace, and
celebrate my beautiful body, this God-given temple.
I go to my beloved with an open and clean heart,
a giving soul, and a forgiving spirit,
with faithfulness and patience, wisdom and true
godliness, so that our home may be a haven
of blessing and peace.
I embrace the children who have been entrusted
in my care with love and laughter, so that I may
rightly see their divinity.
I go to the breakfast table to nourish and strengthen
my body for your service.
Lord, I go out into the world so that others may see
you in all that I say, do, and accomplish today.
I go to my place of service; confident in the gifts
you have blessed me with, to be an effective
steward of them.
I go to those who are alone and who have no one
to care for them. I am empowered with your
graciousness of spirit to share with them the time,
talent, and treasure you have shared with me.
I go to my enemies with a forgiving heart to be an
agent of reconciliation and peace.
Lord, I go to my spiritual home to worship and
adore you and to be filled by you.
I return to my home at night able to leave
all the weariness and stresses of the day outside
my doorstep.
I walk into my home, to friends and to family and
am recharged and comforted in their embrace.
I sit at the dinner table knowing that I eat because
of your mercy, grace, and generosity.
I watch the evening news understanding that
you have the whole world in your hands.
I go to bed knowing that you are the only giver
of true rest.
I close my eyes and go to the dream world in hopes
that your dream for me may become my life.
I'll go, Lord. Send me!
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Becoming Who I Am by Beth-Sarah Wright. Copyright © 2015 Beth-Sarah Wright. Excerpted by permission of Church Publishing Incorporated.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Introduction: Symbolon
PART 1 Begotten i. Our Beginning ii. On This Day iii. Dis a Who Wi Be! (Dis a who Mi be!) iv. Sounds of Home v. What Do You Do with God’s Dream for You? vi. A Dream Prayer
PART 2 Light from Light i. I Am the Light ii. Dare to Be Different iii. Send Me
PART 3 And Was Made Woman i. Part I (Our Belief) ii. Part II (Our Oblation) iii. Part III (Our Beauty) iv. Part IV (Our Prayer) v. Balancing vi. God’s Reflection vii. What’s in a Name?
PART 4 Suffering Death i. Good Friday Narratives ii. Holy Saturday Moments iii. Dream Conservation iv. The Black Morel
PART 5 Rising Again i. A Spiritual Crescendo ii. A New Song
PART 6 In Accordance with the Stories i. Worship ii. Our Stories Matter iii. A Prayer for Our Stories I iv. Our Divine Stories v. A Prayer for Our Stories II vi. God’s Story
PART 7 Giver of Life i. Directions ii. Miracles iii. God’s Ambulance iv. Born Anew v. A Pilgrimage to Joy
PART 8 Life of the World to Come i. What a View ii. Prayer of Self-Dedication (Book of Not So Common Prayer) iii. Astonish Me! I iv. Astonish Me! II v. Astonish Me! III vi. A Prayer of Affirmation vii. New Morning, New Mercies (Ostinato Refrain)
What People are Saying About This
"Beth-Sarah Wright reminds us that the Spirit who guides us on this journey of faith is more poet than cartographer, more storyteller than director. Each step on our way to wholeness is holy and hopeful."
—Milton Brasher-Cunningham, author of Keeping the Feast and This Must Be the Place