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Overview
Have you ever wanted to know the secret to creating a life you love? How do you discern what’s really standing in your way of becoming all you were born to be? In Behind the Clutter, June Saruwatari opens her home and her heart to reveal the transformative decluttering approach that has kept her in demand as a lifestyle, business & relationship coach, and professional organizer to investment bankers, attorneys, judges, artists, politicians, writers, rabbis, university professors, doctors, mothers, children, Hollywood producers, and celebrities. The key to your best life is to master the spaces of your body, mind, soul, and heart, and let go of the clutter within and without.
In this part spiritual memoir, part self-help book, June vulnerably and relentlessly examines her own internal and external “stuff” through her unique fourfold lens of TruthLoveMeaningPurpose:
With fearlessness, vulnerability, and childlike enthusiasm, June digs deep to uncover the thoughts, feelings, memories, and beliefs that lay behind the clutter – and shares effective strategies to identify both internal and external clutter, let it go, and create space for miracles. As you go behind the clutter with June as your guide, you’ll discover that you are your own best expert at designing your life, learn to apply your own TruthLoveMeaningPurpose to all the “stuff” of life, and uncover the masterpiece of yourself that’s been there all along.
Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781614486169 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | Morgan James Publishing |
| Publication date: | 03/17/2015 |
| Pages: | 436 |
| Product dimensions: | 6.10(w) x 9.00(h) x 1.20(d) |
About the Author
Read an Excerpt
CHAPTER 1
PART ONE. THE FOUNDATION.
ME & MY STUFF.
behind my stuff. yes, I have lots of stuff!
So what about me and my stuff? Who am I to be able to have such strong opinions about stuff? Why should you listen to me and read this book?
There are so many wonderful and brilliant books on decluttering, so many experts who have devised systems that make it easy for any layperson simply to pick up the book and get started on organizing. Does the world need another book on organizing, decluttering, and simplifying? That is exactly what I think every time I go into a bookstore and see the numerous books on self-improvement and self-mastery! It can be quite overwhelming, and I seriously just want to go home and take a nap. I conclude, let them read the other books.
But in my years of teaching, and even while writing the book and confronting my fears of whether I had enough worthy information to share with you all, I have gotten so many messages from the Universe and God nudging me to move forward sharing my "unique spin" on stuff. So here I am.
When I first started writing, I asked God to work through me to release the clutter in my mind and heart — the doubts of asking "who am I?" and not accepting my own greatness in presenting my perspective to you, and my fears of what you would really think about me if I revealed how I truly felt about stuff — my stuff, others' stuff, world stuff.
And then I remembered what I always tell myself before speaking — to release the pressure of trying to be good, aka ego: "June, focus on being a blessing to at least one person to relieve the pressure of having to please everyone." Suddenly, my fingers couldn't stop typing. It was as though God was whispering in my ear, "Yes, child, you have much to share. Go ahead and just continue writing." It's almost as if the words couldn't wait to be on the page and be shared with you, so I continued writing one word, one story, one chapter at a time.
Yes, yes, yes! I can't wait to share with you how deep this stuff goes, and the miracles I have witnessed in my life and others' lives, just by dealing with the stuff.
So what's the clutter behind why it has taken me so long to write this book?
I officially started this book more than ten years ago in 2001, writing in between clients and lectures — writing, writing, writing. I would write every time I gave another lecture, and more stuff would reveal itself to me. In 2005, I had more than 200 pages, had organized the book, thought I was nearly complete, was doing final edits, had started a newsletter, and was on a roll with my life's work — when suddenly, other stuff happened.
I was pulled from the writing and editing to work on the stuff that was going on in my own life. I was traveling and shooting thirteen episodes of a television show, while still seeing clients and teaching. And the hardest stuff of all — my twenty-year relationship and fourteen-year marriage to my best friend came to an abrupt end. We separated and divorced. Then, my father suddenly became ill, was hospitalized for four months, and then passed away.
The one thing that kept me going was my business as The Organizing Maniac™, which gave me a purpose — to serve my clients, do workshops, and share my teachings. However, at one lecture I gave, when I brought up the letting go of marriage and my recent divorce, it seemed that people were shocked to hear me talking about my stuff in public. Were people ready to hear me talk so candidly about my stuff?
The truth behind my stuff?
It has taken me a while to get truly grounded again. I had to forgive myself for thinking that my parents would be around forever. Many people had told me, "You will never understand until it happens to you, but it is surreal to have one of your parents pass away — the person who brought you into this world." They were right. I didn't think about it so deeply at the time, but my father's death still shocks me, and I wish he were still here to read this book. I can't believe he's gone, because I thought he was going to be around forever.
From what I learned from my father's passing, I am now at one with the notion that my mother will one day pass, and I have let go of the warped thinking that my mom will be around forever. I am no longer shoving that fear underneath my bed pretending it is not there, but instead I have confronted that fear head on and taken responsibility for this thought by embracing my mother — giving her love and being the best daughter I can be to her in the here and now. With my father, I thought I had said everything I wanted to say to him and did all I could do by visiting him in the hospital. But after he passed, when I reread his letters to me telling me what a great daughter I was, I found myself wishing I could have spent more time with him and shared more with him, from my heart, about how truly grateful I was to have had such a wonderful dad like him. I realized that even if you tell somebody once, twice, three times, or more, you can never say "I love you" or "I appreciate you" enough.
I also thought that I would be married to the same person forever, that I would grow old with that person and would never, ever get divorced. I thought my visionary man would fulfill all my needs and desires, be my soulmate for life, make love to me every day like it was the first time, and fall more in love with me with every passing day. I still believe in love in this way, and so I haven't let go of that dream. This is part of what I teach as well.
I myself had to take action in letting go of a relationship that was no longer serving our highest good, let go of the "stigma" of divorce as a failure, and instead embrace my own perspective about my marriage, knowing in my heart that our marriage was, indeed, a success. I would have been married forever had I not confronted my own TruthLoveMeaningPurpose. I am forever grateful for the wonderful, loving relationship with my ex-husband in which I grew up, and the love we shared will forever remain a part of my heart.
I discovered that what was true for me might be very different from what was true for others, and the path to liberation included releasing any notions or beliefs I clung to that were based on society's dictums or somebody else's ideas. I have found that true liberation means coming from a place of peace within, knowing that my heart's desires were planted there a long time ago, even before I was born, and the fulfillment of those desires was mine to experience and manifest.
Also, over the past few years, I have also needed to get grounded in my new relationship. For me, feeling grounded in my relationship is paramount to being clutter free in my mind, heart, and consciousness so that I can be a clear channel for my life's work. Either I'm in this relationship body-mind-spirit-heart, or I'm not. So in this way, I have decluttered my heart over and over and over, to come clean to this relationship with an open heart, cracked wide open and left wide open, to experience true love again. It has been nothing short of remarkable, and with this true love grounding me, I feel like I can give love unconditionally to you, the reader, and to the world, and offer my gifts freely.
So here I am, feeling grounded again and connected once again with my TruthLoveMeaningPurpose. I feel I am now able to be a free and clear channel to share my teachings with you.
So with fearlessness, and with no holds barred, I'm putting it all out there. I am presenting this work to you. It is my gift to you from God.
teaching from my stuff. still learning.
i have not always been organized. I was not born organized. I "work and play" at being organized every single day. I organize because of the sense of peace and grounding it gives me. I declutter because of the sense of liberation that comes with letting go of the stuff I think I need but am keeping based on fear. I simplify because when things are too complicated, I get confused.
I become uncomfortable at the thought of someone calling me his or her "organizing guru." I like to think of myself as a facilitator, coach, and guide, coaching you to be your own guru and an expert in the field of stuff — namely, your stuff.
I believe in my heart that I can only teach you what I myself have learned thus far. I can only stand behind what I believe in if I have tried it and tested it, and it has worked for me. I can only speak with conviction and passion about those things that are working for me still, where I myself have seen, felt, and experienced measurable, perceptible results.
Luckily for me, I have what I call "selective memory," which has allowed me the ability to conveniently forget details about my past that are too painful to remember, such as how disorganized I was when I was younger! However, I will share what I do recall, which will give you a glimpse into the reason why I believe I was uniquely selected to be in this position to help you — wherever you are. I have no judgment about you, your past, your present, or future. I have been there. I have bought stuff, collected stuff, let go of stuff, held on to stuff, regretted stuff, been angry at stuff, been disorganized, organized it once, messed it up, organized it again, messed it up again, and finally learned what it takes to stay clutter free and organized for life!
And guess what? I can reassure you that simplifying, decluttering, and organizing is a life tool you can learn — that anyone can learn. Evaluating everything based on TruthLoveMeaningPurpose is a way of life, and you too can use it to lead a clutter-free life. There is hope! I have tremendous compassion, faith, and belief that you can learn these simple mindset shifts, principles, and philosophies, so you can feel boundless energy and change your life forever. Soon you'll be screaming, like I do every day, "I love my life!"
As I've said before, and I'll continue to share stories to prove this point — I am not a naturally organized person. Organizing is not in my DNA. And yet I have learned and created simple systems through which I am authentically organized and living a productive, meaningful, and joyful life that honors my TruthLoveMeaningPurpose.
My intention is to share my truth — no holds barred, and without shame or embarrassment, because I know someone out there will be able to relate to what I have gone through and will benefit from my mistakes and lessons learned. I trust that the ruthless expression of my truth will activate you to confront your truth, too. And, I hope this will accelerate your journey to getting there — wherever you want to be!
growing up stuff. still growing.
ah, my childhood stuff. I remember a charmed life where I got everything my heart desired — a colorful, secure, happy life filled with security, love, and love of stuff. I felt very lucky having a mother who loved being a mother, and a father who loved being a father. They were very clear about their priorities and what was truly important, and hence they were very clear about their stuff and maintained clear boundaries on the stuff that was important to them and their roles in my life.
My first bedroom was painted a girly-girl blush pink, and everything in it was the same soft shade of pink: my bed was adorned with a ruffled pink bedspread and matching pink pillows, with a giant, pink, furry rug next to it, and a matching pink Kenmore play kitchen on the other side.
Years later, I remember coming home one day from school to a surprise in my bedroom — my parents had "made-over" my room with cheery yellow! They had bought me brand new yellow blinds, a yellow bedspread, and a yellow desk, bookshelves, cabinets, and chair. A pop of sunshine! I loved it!
Growing up, my mother would dress me up in beautiful, colorful dresses, whatever was in style at the time, and style my hair with colorful bows and ribbons coordinated to match every outfit. She sewed new outfits for me for Easter, Christmas, piano recitals, graduation, and whatever I wanted that I saw in fashion magazines. The most exciting part about starting school every year was going shopping with my mom for four brand-new outfits and matching shoes!
My mother was Supermom. She had a great sense of style, and when I look at the photos of her, I think, How did she raise three kids while looking fabulous every day, wearing fabulous dresses with her hair in a bouffant hairdo? For that matter, how did she host parties for twenty people every few weeks? Every summer, for one entire week, she would invite my three cousins to stay over. She baked cookies, arranged ?owers, and had homemade snacks ready for us when we came home from school. She cooked up tasty meals in a pinch and made them look beautiful! The house was always pristine and organized, laundry neatly folded — how did she do it? I still think about this when I organize households and see mothers struggling with balancing the laundry, cooking, and taking care of the kids!
When I got older, I never had that "urge" to have kids. When I psychoanalyzed this, I think it's because I could never be a mother like my mom, whom I idolized as Supermom, so why even do it? I didn't have a passion for cooking, cleaning, ?ower arranging, or sewing. I realized later that even if I had wanted to be a mom, I would have been a terrific mother, as long as I did not compare myself to my mother or to other mothers and just tried to be the best mom I could be. For instance, I could share my passion for journaling, writing, and self-inquiry with my kids.
Now, every summer when I have my nieces over for a weekend, I practice being the best aunt I can be — not following some notion of what I'm supposed to do to entertain kids, but staying true to my idea of fun. We meditate, journal about what's important in life, journal about stuff we're grateful for, go to the bookstore to get inspiring books, read, bike to the beach and around town instead of driving, and do stuff that I love to do. And guess what? They have fun because I'm having fun, and they seem to enjoy activities they might not otherwise do at home. Now I teach clients who are mothers and fathers, "Be the best dad and mom you can be — don't compare yourself to your own dads and moms or other dads and moms! Instead, follow your passions and loves, and teach your kids from your hearts! Let go of the 'shoulds' and create space for your loves to inform the teachings you impart to your children."
* * *
Back to when I was little — I loved going over to my cousin's house because I loved being in her room. It was always organized and very neat, not a thing out of place! She wore the coolest clothes and was so stylish. I remember her white go-go boots, and I was always so excited to get her hand-me-downs! I remember when she gave me her favorite brown bandeau bikini — I was in heaven! Everybody called my favorite bikini "Band-Aids on June," because it barely covered my body!
The point is: I learned that someone else's hand-me-downs or giveaways that are no longer fitting their version of who they are may, in fact, be in perfect alignment with somebody else's version of their best self, and catapult them to a new level. I always had cute bikinis, but my brown bandeau bikini, given to me by my stylish cousin at age fifteen, made me feel like a different girl, and made me feel more beautiful than ever. So now I teach clients that giving something away is an act of love — you will never know the joy you are giving to somebody else who may use that item fully for what it was intended! This item could be exactly what they need to elevate their style, feeling, confidence, consciousness, and life, giving them a different perspective on who they are, allowing them to start attracting different miraculous experiences to themselves just because they are feeling differently!
* * *
I wasn't always so interested in being organized. When I was growing up, my mother was always organized, and it seemed effortless for her. I now know she inherited this as part of her DNA from my grandfather. My mom, younger brother, my cousin, and my niece have it. They were born with a gift for thinking and seeing things a certain way, and it doesn't make sense to them to leave stuff out, leave cupboards open, and leave shoes going in different directions at the doorway. All the shoes should be faced in the same direction, all trashcans should be emptied regularly, and all countertops should be wiped clean. From their perspective, it's simply the way stuff should be in the world — how else would you order the stuff? It's an easy and effortless way of living for them, based on their perceptions and how they see the world.
(Continues…)
Excerpted from "Behind the Clutter"
by .
Copyright © 2015 June Saruwatari.
Excerpted by permission of Morgan James Publishing.
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