Table of Contents
Foreword Melissa McCarthy xi
Preface xv
1 Have Good Times: or The Value of Adult Friendships for the Sanity of Parents and Children Alike 1
2 It's About Who You Know: or Why Having Feathered Friends Will Keep Your Kids from Worrying About Your Crappy Job 9
3 Take It All in Stride: or Nothing Is Too Big of a Deal 19
4 The Big Sky Theory: or Sometimes It's Okay to Lie to Your Kids 25
5 Rip off the Band-Aid: or The Argument for Truth Once in a While 37
6 Parenting through Hypochondria: or The Time I Thought I Might Be Gay 45
7 Not All Vacations with Your Children are Magical: or Never Take Travel Advice from a Bird-watcher 51
8 Navigating Breakfast Conversations: or My Dad Never Had to Deal with This Stuff 63
9 Having Children of the Opposite Gender: or My Mom DID Have to Deal with This Stuff 67
10 Parenting the Parents: or The Art of Waking Up Your Dad When He Falls Asleep on the Can 77
11 Admit Your Faults: or Don't Mutilate the Chocolate Bunnies 85
12 All Hail the Road Warrior: or Being Grateful for What Matters 91
13 How to be an Inspiration to Young Athletes: PS: Maybe Skip the Mimosas? 101
14 Admit When You Have Said, Done, or Cooked Something Wrong: or The Apology Fish 109
15 High School-Let it be a Time of Poor Choices: or Forgive Them, for They Know Not What They Do 119
16 My Dad's Noises: (Oh Holy Shit, I'm Making Noises) 127
17 It's Okay to Let Them See You Sweat: but Sometimes I Sweat a Whole Bunch 131
18 Music Makes the World go 'Round: (This One Is Easy) 139
19 Stop Feeling Guilty: Your Kids Are Never Really Bored 143
20 Forget Counting Sheep When You Can't Sleep: One of the Many Reasons it Helps to Have a Sibling 149
21 Foster Political Ideas: or The Time I Was an Asshole for Halloween 153
22 Learn the Rules of the Game: or Never Leg-Whip a Priest 161
23 Always Support Your Children: Even When They Lose Their Way and Take Their Waiter Job Way Too Seriously 169
24 Teach Your Children the Value of Money: Spend It Now 187
25 Find a Good Lady to Spend You Life With: but Be a Good Husband 195
26 Appreciate Every Gesture: For Example, The Meat That My Daughters Made Me for Father's Day, 2014 201
27 It's Okay to Cry: or The Art of Gathering Wine 203
28 Choose Happy: and It Is a Choice 209
Acknowledgments 215