★ 04/06/2015
Morris (Assisted Loving), commentator on NPR’s All Things Considered, takes an introspective yet humorous look at the final journeys of his critically ill parents. His story is hardly unusual among baby boomers; he says that 65 million Americans are caregivers, and “seven out of ten”of those 65 million provide care for someone over 50, hoping to help parents without neglecting the quality of their own lives. While trying to endure the concluding days of his mother, suffering from a blood disease, and his suicidal father, who faces heart surgery, Morris writes sensitively about his conflicts with his older brother, the medical complications of “comfort care,” and the attempts to provide the “perfect ending” for loved ones. Long before the book closes on an upbeat note, Morris explores the many shapes of loss and grief, with a few mischievous asides and recollections punctuating the most painful event possible: “But that’s how families cope—with an unspoken letting go long before the actual death. It eases the pain of the final parting.” Packing in more substance and smiles than are usually found in this genre, Morris has written a profound and timely chronicle. (June)
"This might seem like tough reading; surprisingly, it's not. Morris manages to convey the poignancy of coping with a dying parent while infusing the text with sly humor...the book will move anyone who has had to say goodbye to a loved one--especially those who felt themselves unequal to the task."—New York Times Book Review
"Packing in more substance and smiles than are usually found in this genre, Morris has written a profound and timely chronicle."—Publishers Weekly
"Both a domestic comedy and a heartfelt homage, Morris's emotional memoir of his parents' passing--a tribute to loved ones and how we say goodbye--makes tender light of the mundane and finds dark humor in the morose."—O Magazine
"Just as books can help us make sense out of the milestone of becoming parents, Morris's account will prove valuable to those who are losing theirs...Morris writes about his father with rare sweetness...his honest and love will resonate with anyone worrying about their aging parents."—Boston Globe
"With humor and unflinching honesty, Bob Morris confronts the deterioration and death of his parents. His anger, impatience, tenderness, and love light each page. He is right about so much, including how wrong we get it. This is our common experience. We fumble and stumble to express our love (without going mad), doing the best we can."—Maira Kalman, author of The Principles of Uncertainty and And the Pursuit of Happiness
"A poignant, charming reflection on the next step in life."
—Booklist
"Searingly candid...sensitively told, deeply moving and highly relevant in a world where more and more people face situations like his. BOBBY WONDERFUL is a gift of a book: an often funny but also perfectly serious contemplation of living and dying well."—Shelf Awareness
"A love letter wrapped inside a very beautiful, moving story. Morris's cherished memories of his parents' good times seem to buffer the pain of loss, and that he shares those vivid personal recollections is a delight."—Naples News
"How could a book about a Boomer dealing with the death of his parents be so fulfilling and delicious? Bob Morris does just that...My god I loved this book. I was riveted, weeping and laughing through it in one full day's read...For all his stark honesty of unconscionable thoughts and warts exposed, I came away endeared by Bob and his family...a deeply personal book filled with profound moments at every turn of a page."—Seven Ponds
"Candid...powerful...memorable."—Next Avenue
"Funny and touching... I recommend it to anyone who--like me--feels they could have or should have done more, or done better, in dealing with the decline and fall of the colossus known as Mom or Dad. The truth of the matter? Nobody gets it right."—Pocono Record
"Heartfelt and deeply moving."—Dayton Daily News
2015-02-24
A journalist's memoir of coming to terms with the aging and deaths of his parents.This book fits into what has become a genre unto itself, as baby boomers have reached the age where they are taking care of the parents who once took care of them, and advances of modern medicine have allowed some of those parents to live longer. By his own admission, Morris (Assisted Loving: True Tales of Double Dating with My Dad, 2008, etc.) was not a model caregiver, deferring much of that responsibility to his brother, and his parents weren't what he would "have ordered from a parent catalogue." The prelude to this "personal chronicle of ending" suggests that the book was inspired by the example of an acquaintance whose doting on his elderly parents stood in stark contrast to the author's self-centeredness toward unwanted responsibilities and distractions. A travel writer, he found his trip to Scotland to sample Scotch ruined by the pleas from his brother to return home because their mother was dying. He didn't want to interrupt his trip, but he could no longer enjoy it. His brother, to whom the book is dedicated, was "the family's morality meter," while the author was "more the wicked one…prodigal, cynical, and irresponsible." After his mother's death, his father embarked on a romance that seemed to revitalize him (and provided material for a theatrical performance the author mounted), but then he declined again. As the author tried to help his father through his depression and suffered the trials of caregiving, he sometimes seemed to wish his father had succeeded with his suicide attempt. "I'm all for the simple solution, the easy exit," he says. Even his father complained about his son's lack of commitment and compassion. "Caring for parents has become the new normal for boomers," writes Morris. Readers will likely find other books on the topic more illuminating and inspirational.
