Comfortable Chaos: Make Effective Choices in your Career & Family Life

by Carolyn Harvey & Beth Herrild

Overview

Comfortable Chaos is the first book that accepts the pace of modern living and helps readers come to their own life balance. This book recognizes that life today will never be free of stress and that everyone has his or her own level of tolerance for chaos.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781770408241
Publisher:	Self-Counsel Press, Inc.
Publication date:	04/15/2012
Series:	Reference Series
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	200
File size:	2 MB

About the Author

Carolyn Harvey and Beth Herrild are corporate veterans, mothers, and speakers at the very popular Comfortable Chaos seminars they run together. Formerly neighbors, they both live in Washington. They combine their knowledge of “life in the corporate trenches” with their own experiences balancing work and family, along with stories from the hundreds of people they have helped at their Comfortable Chaos seminars.

Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION: CHATTING ACROSS THE DRIVEWAY xvii PART I: SHIFTING TO COMFORTABLE CHAOS 1 1 COMFORTABLE CHAOS: IT’S SO MUCH MORE THAN “JUST SAYING NO” 3 The Pursuit of “Balance” 3 Life As a White-Water Raft Trip 6 The First I — Individual 7 The Second I — Imperfect 8 The Third I — Inter-Related 8 2 YOUR COEFFICIENT FOR CHAOS 11 Determining How You Are Spending Your Time 12 Aligning Your Time with Your Treasures 15 Your Coefficient for Chaos 18 The high CFCstyle 21 The mid-range CFCstyle 21 The low CFCstyle 23 Is Your Chaos Working for You or Against You? 24 Tipping Out of the Raft 25 Recognizing the Warning Signs before Capsizing 26 3 TAKING CHARGE IN A HIGH-SPEED “SUCK YOU DRY” WORLD 29 Controlling the Corporate Beast 31 Worrying about the Beast, Not the Economy 32 Seven Keys to Controlling the Beast 33 Give up Perfectionism 34 Remember Your Priorities 35 Know Your Worth 36 Operate in Your “Want and Can” Area 37 Learn How to Let Some Balls Drop 42 Eliminate it 42 iii Contents Redefine done 43 Delegate it 43 Create (and Keep) Your Boundaries 44 Get out of the passive/victim mentality 46 Diffuse the emotion 46 Follow the pain to the problem 46 Decide on a “trial boundary” 47 Create a boundary support system 47 Implement the “trial boundary” and then evaluate it in 30 days 47 Know How to Get Results 48 4 THE VIEW FROM THE MIDDLE 49 Self-Care Isn’t Selfish 50 Why Self-Care Needs a Place on Your To-Do List 52 You will get more done 52 You will be around longer for your family 53 You will be modeling life-enhancing behavior for your children 53 Using Transitions to Create Pools of Calm Water 56 Handling Anticipated Transitions 56 Envision the other side 57 Be conscious of the “one more thing syndrome” 58 Design the improved transition 59 Handling Unanticipated Transitions 60 Comfortable Chaos: A Noble and Pioneering Effort 63 Not All Pioneers Travel the Same Road 65 5 RECLAIMING, OR CHANGING, YOUR CHOICE 67 Determining What’s Working and What Isn’t 68 The Envy Decoder 69 Which Direction Are You Moving In? 72 Where to Next? 73 iv Comfortable Chaos PART II: THRIVING ON FULL-TIME WORK WHILE STILL HAVING A LIFE 75 6 FULFILLED BY FULL TIME: HOW TO MAKE IT MANAGEABLE AND PROTECT YOUR PRIORITIES 77 Take a Dual-Centric Approach 78 Change Your Assignment 80 Change Your Alignment 84 Change Your Abutment 86 Moving Your CFC Along the Continuum 88 Maintain Your Boundaries 89 Ten Tips for Getting It All Done 90 Decide on your top priority projects 90 Use the 80/20 rule and plan 90 Use the “project of the week” concept 91 Get over the guilt of e-mail 91 Develop the need for speed 93 Avoid any meeting that doesn’t help you with one of your critical projects 93 Learn the tools that are pertinent for your job 94 Be highly organized and work “lean” 95 Think before you say “yes” 95 Surround yourself with capable and positive people 96 7 FLEXTIME, COMPRESSED WORKWEEKS, AND TELECOMMUTING: THREE WONDERFUL WAYS TO DISTRIBUTE FULL-TIME WORK 97 Flextime: Working When It Works for You 99 How much of my time is spent in crossfunctional collaboration? 100 How will I accommodate communication among my direct reporting relationships? 100 Can I honestly sustain the schedule I am proposing? 101 Contents v Compressed Workweeks: How to Not Shove Ten Pounds in a Five-Pound Sack 101 Do I have the physical and mental stamina for a longer day? 103 Does my job realistically lend itself to my absence one day per week or every other week? 103 How will the work be covered on the days I am not in the office? 104 How will I communicate my schedule to others in order to reduce any possible resentment? 104 Telecommuting: Getting Beyond the Image of Working in Your Pajamas 105 How will my manager and I measure my deliverables? 106 How, and how often, will I communicate? 107 What equipment is needed and who will purchase it? 107 Does my work have confidentiality or security issues? 108 Am I clear on professional standards for telephone and e-mail etiquette? 108 What will I do to keep feeling like “part of the team”? 108 Will I feel isolated if I am working at home by myself? 108 Am I the type of person who procrastinates? 108 Do I have a workable child-care plan? 109 Telecommuting Light 109 The Common Elements of Three Wonderful Ways to Distribute Full-Time Work 110 Your Schedule As Part of the Bigger Picture 111 8 WORKING INDEPENDENTLY: HOW FREELANCING OR CONSULTING COULD BE RIGHT FOR YOU 113 Work Schedules and Boundaries 115 vi Comfortable Chaos Where Is Your Chair? Working from Home, the Client’s Office, or the Coffee Shop 117 Assessing If This Lifestyle Is a Good Fit for You 118 Are you willing to find work by networking, marketing, and selling? 118 Are you able to establish boundaries that fit your working style and support your goals? 120 Are you able to accurately assess potential clients and avoid potential problem clients? 121 Are you able to build positive relationships and develop client-specific networks? 122 Can you work independently and manage to a deadline? 124 Can you give up the traditional rewards of working in a corporate setting? 124 Can you cope financially and emotionally during the times you don’t have work? 125 Staffing Agencies: Friend or Foe? 126 How staffing agencies bill 127 Co-employment and length of assignment 128 Choosing a staffing agency 129 The three phases of an assignment 131 A New Model: Using a Mixture of Different Employment Arrangements 133 Getting Started As an Independent Worker 135 Independent Workers: The Future of White-Collar Work? 137 PART III: LOVING LIFE AT HOME FULL TIME OR PART TIME 139 9 STAYING HOME FULL TIME: EMBRACING THE NEBULOUS NATURE OF IT ALL 141 Staying at Home Is Highly Individual 143 Staying at Home Is Definitely Imperfect 144 Staying at Home Is Intensely Inter-Related 144 Contents vii Handling the Nebulous Nature of the Job 145 Design and create your own structure 146 Surrender to the fact that the work is never done and set boundaries 147 Recognize and embrace your many daily transitions in new ways 147 Creating a Sense of Accomplishment and Positive Feedback 148 Start viewing your home as your workplace 149 Put small, trivial-seeming tasks on your to-do list and check them off 149 Delegate even though you don’t have employees 150 Give yourself a performance evaluation 150 Dealing with the 24/7 Experience 151 Look at what you’re trying to control and why 151 Plan when to sit down and when to get out 152 Create that Friday feeling 153 Overcoming the Isolation 153 Hang out with “your people” 153 Make yourself do something stimulating or out of the box 154 Adjusting to the Lack of Pay and the Drop in Status 154 Work on your sense of intrinsic value and create your own rewards 155 Manage the money 155 Do some advocating 156 Allowing Time for the Transition 156 10 PART TIME: NOT JUST FOR RETAIL ANYMORE 157 Meet some Part-Timers 158 Nice Work If You Can Get It 159 Use your current employer 160 Create your own part-time work 161 Job hunt for part-time work 162 Do You Have the Right Personality for Part-Time Work? 163 viii Comfortable Chaos Selecting the Right Ingredients for Success 165 Selecting the right type of assignment 166 Selecting the right type of boss 168 Selecting the right work environment 169 Successfully Managing Relationships 170 Productivity Power: You May Actually Get More Done in Less Time 172 Managing Your Time Off: How to Avoid “Full Time Creep” 173 “She Just Works Part Time” and Other Potential Perceptions 175 You still have a career and a real job 177 Flexibility about the exact schedule 177 The reality of occasional work on your days off 178 The financial balance of power 178 Managing expectations about your stay-at-home days 178 11 JOB SHARING: THE POWER OF A PARTNERSHIP HAS ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES 181 The Unique Benefits of Job Sharing 182 The Downside of Job Sharing 183 Is Job Sharing Right for You? 184 Schedules and Structure 185 Could Your Job Be Shared? 187 Can the work be divided or can an effective plan for managing the work be created? 187 Does the job have complex communication requirements? 187 Does the job require heavy travel? 188 If the job includes supervising people, can you develop a realistic plan for sharing management responsibilities? 188 Are there quantifiable benefits to sell to management? 189 Assessing Your Company’s Culture 190 Assessing Your Manager 191 Contents ix Finding and Selecting the Right Partner 191 Which Job to Share? 195 The Importance of Being Seamless 196 Getting Started 198 PART IV: READY TO MAKE A MAJOR CHANGE? À LA CARTE HELP PROVIDED 199 12 THE ALL-IMPORTANT AFFORDABILITY QUESTION: CAN YOUR FINANCES SUPPORT YOUR DREAMS? 201 Gathering Your Financial Facts: The Critical First Step 202 Track your spending 203 Document your net worth 205 Assessing the Short- and Long-Term Impacts of Change 205 Meet current expenses 205 Meet future expenses 207 Medical and dental insurance 207 Life insurance and other company-provided benefits 208 Pension plans 208 401K plans 209 Stock options and bonuses 209 Social security 209 Creating a Financial Plan 210 Casting Your Votes Differently 210 Spending Plans: One Piece of the Financial Plan 213 Getting Professional Help 213 Financial planner 213 Investment manager 214 Stockbrokers 214 Personal bookkeepers 215 It’s Worth the Effort 215 x Comfortable Chaos 13 CREATIVE CHILD-CARE SOLUTIONS: HOW TO CREATE THE SUPPORT YOU NEED 217 Five Keys to Finding Creative Child Care 218 Networking, networking, networking 218 Get creative about your advertising sources 219 Don’t be afraid to combine options 220 Know yourself and your children, and trust your instincts 221 Always be thinking about your next phase 222 Eleven Creative Child-Care Solutions 223 Daycare centers (full time) 224 Daycare centers (part time) 224 In-home daycare providers (full time) 225 In-home daycare providers (part time) 225 Nannies (full time) 226 Nannies (part time) 227 Nanny share 227 Relatives or family friends 228 Other parents 229 Babysitting co-ops 229 Coworkers with opposite schedules 229 Why Finding Great Child Care Is Only the Beginning 230 14 STRATEGIES FOR RE-ENTRY: HOW TO RETURN TO THE WORKFORCE AFTER A BREAK 233 Strategies for Returning to the Paid Workforce 236 Find the right volunteer position 236 Network with both new and former contacts 237 Find a full-time professional who is interested in job sharing 239 Take a class in your field or do something else to keep current 239 Read industry and general business/economic publications 240 Participate in professional associations 240 Contents xi Evaluate your former industry and consider a new industry if the pace of change requires up-to-the-minute skills 240 Consider going back full time even if your preference is part time 241 View your transition as a time to reinvent yourself by finding your passion and identifying your skills 242 Combining Strategies 243 Résumé and Interview Tips 243 Make sure your prior work experience is strategically placed on your résumé and is specific and quantifiable 244 Don’t try to hide your time out of the paid workforce 244 During the interview be the consummate professional 247 Avoid talking about your children unless specifically asked 247 Demonstrate your up-to-date knowledge of the industry 247 15 CREATING AN ALTERNATIVE WORK SCHEDULE: HOW TO THINK LIKE AN EMPLOYER AND PITCH YOUR PROPOSAL LIKE A PRO 249 Ten Elements of a Comprehensive Proposal 251 Introductory statement and needs analysis 251 Job title 252 Schedule specifics 252 Benefits to the company 253 Benefits for the employees in the job share 254 Cost benefit analysis 255 Successful precedents 259 Strategy for managing/allocating responsibilities 259 Detailed communication plan 261 Potential issues and solutions 262 xii Comfortable Chaos Getting the Right Equation 263 Preparing for Possible Objections 265 Making the Presentation 265 PART V: LIVING IN COMFORTABLE CHAOS 267 16 YOUR EVER-CHANGING JOURNEY 269 EXERCISES 1 Where Does My Time Go? 14 2 My Current Priorities 17 3 Determining Your Coefficient for Chaos 19 4 Determining Your “Want and Can” Area 42 5 My Self-Care Habit 55 6 Handling Your Worst Transition 61 7 Determining What’s Working and What Isn’t 69 8 Decoding Your Envy 71 9 Determining Your Direction 73 10 Tracking Your Spending 204 11 Documenting Your Net Worth 206 FIGURES 1 Determining Your “Want and Can” Area 38 2 What Mike Wants to Control 39 3 What Paula Can Control 41 CHECKLIST 1 Evaluating a Staffing Company 133 SAMPLE 1 Skill-Based Résumé 245