Read an Excerpt
Creating Peace of Mind
Focusing on What Matters in a Changing World
By Jill M. Reid AuthorHouse
Copyright © 2016 Jill Reid
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-5049-6624-5
CHAPTER 1
Part I
How Is the Water? A Foundation for Creating PEACE of MIND
* * *
Be the change you wish to see in the world.
— Gandhi
A Changing Tide: Accepting Change as Part of Life
In a world that is always changing, learning has become less about collecting information and more about building skills to adapt and integrate developments as they come. Change will always be part of life, and the information that follows is designed to combine useful strategies and perspectives to build confidence in doing so. Preparing adults and children for an unknown future requires a comprehensive look at how we deal with change.
Definitions of Change
• a variation or deviation
• the substitution of one thing for another
• a transformation or modification
Comparing living to swimming brings various mental images to mind. Do you envision floating on a still lake, being swept away in a rushing river, jumping into a crowded swimming pool, or maybe just keeping your head above water in a stormy ocean? Different points in our lives may match these images.
In the last several years, I have imagined standing in the ocean. I am facing the beach and being slammed by one powerful wave after another. Each time an unexpected wave crashes down upon me, I am briefly disoriented. When I try to stand, the sand beneath my feet slips away as the wave recedes. If I fight to stand and not move, I have a difficult time. If I choose to face the ocean and dive into an approaching wave, the experience is much easier to manage. In life, the waves just keep coming because change is inevitable. I am realizing how I choose to deal with the waves makes all the difference.
In the metaphor of life as an ocean; some people are riding waves, others are concerned about what dangers lurk just below the surface, and others are sailing smoothly and skillfully navigating the waters. This comparison brings to mind the power, potential, risk, and constant changes that exist in our society. Just like waves and tides, change is here to stay. Like it or not, it is what moves us forward — whether it is getting a year older or buying that device that didn't exist a year ago (but now we can't live without). It seems especially tough to teach younger generations how to adapt when many of the conditions, expectations, tools, and techniques we used a few years ago are simply outdated and no longer useful.
In the recent past, education was designed to prepare students with specific knowledge, skills, and experiences that would prepare them for later success. Specifically, the knowledge part was highly valued. Knowledge was delivered and absorbed. Now, education has become more about learning to face challenges and adjust. We are helping students contribute to the larger world and solve problems now. In the ocean analogy, the constant change can seem exhausting. It feels like we can't catch our breath to brace for the next wave or the rising tide. This is particularly rough on our schools.
The current education system is struggling with a dilemma of purpose. With more information, tools, problems, and expectations than ever before — with the same limited time available — many wonder what is necessary to navigate in a global world. As the adults and systems themselves are adapting to constant change, we are tasked with supporting our children to do the same.
Advancement is causing change more quickly than ever before. Systems are struggling to adapt and keep up. Frameworks that add structure and clarity have become helpful because specific parts, tools, and resources are changing too quickly. Larger components add a sense of stability and common purpose that allow the details to become more fluid and sustainable.
As things change, the words we use remain; however, their interpretations become fluid and take on more complex meanings. This is a huge challenge because many stakeholders may not be up to speed with the new meanings of the language being used. To add to the challenge, open, honest conversations about misconceptions among participants are not always encouraged or supported — perhaps because the experts are still figuring it out for themselves or because it is taboo to point out a misconception. Therefore, progress is often slowed, and miscommunication runs wild.
I hope this framework will help those interested in improving their capacity to adapt in a changing world. Creating PEACE of MIND provides many helpful tips and research-based perspectives in one place. By adapting these strategies, parents and teachers will be better equipped with some common-sense information to support their children, students, and other adults in adapting as well. This is not just designed for surviving change; it is designed for thriving in the face of change. It is like a personal investment of awareness that will pay off later when it is needed most, and it will offer some peace of mind in dealing with setbacks — no matter what the future holds.
If change is a constant in life, we would be wise to develop a mindset that helps us integrate new developments rather than remaining insecure in facing the unknown. We can then build confidence in making waves of our own to contribute to and improve the world around us as innovators and leaders with positive momentum. I hope this framework will build unity in many communities with a common purpose and provide a common language for proactive conversations.
A Clear Reflection: How Clear Feedback Moves Us Forward
What the research shows very clearly is that ego involving feedback is rarely effective and, in fact, can lower achievement.
— Dylan Wiliam, Feedback on Learning
"I knew you could do it because you are so smart! Good girl!" Are the words in this statement positive? Many people would say the statement is clearly positive and encouraging, but the truth is that there is no way to know how the recipient will receive this statement. This is because many words in our language are interpretive and depend on personal beliefs and the context of the situation to create meaning.
There are two ways to offer praise. One is situational, or task-specific, in which words are used to describe a thing, situation, or behavior. The other option personally describes someone through what Dylan Wiliam calls ego-based praise. Praise or feedback can target the process/performance or the person. Which one is better? It is not a matter of good or bad. It is all about clarity.
How could either of these options muddy the waters? When you use certain words to talk about a person — even positive terms like smart, great, perfect, best, or better — it is also loaded with the meaning of its opposite. For example, when a child does well on a test, her parents tell her, "You are so smart." They all feel great at the moment. However, when the inevitable challenge or setback arises, she might fill in the blank for herself that not doing well means she is not smart anymore or that she never really was. Either way, with the ego-based feedback, she will get little information about what worked well and what she needs to work on to improve for next time. In addition, an unpredictable psychological response has been triggered in her mind. Therefore, even though the intention of the feedback was positive, how this praise is interpreted depends on the individual receiving it.
Due to the interpretive nature of language, it is not so important what adults say to children; what children are saying to themselves is more important. Student-motivation research shows a clear difference in achievement based on the type of feedback students receive. If we give task-specific, process-related feedback — even if it is not always positive — there are fewer opportunities for children to distort the messages. Also, when someone does not put forth effort and is praised the same exact way as when he or she works hard, the credibility of that source of praise is compromised.
"And what the research shows very clearly is that ego involving feedback is rarely effective and in fact, can lower achievement. So when students get grades and they can compare themselves with each other, where they get praise ... the effects are usually or often zero and, sometimes, negative. In other words, in many cases rather than giving that kind of praise you would have been better off shutting up and giving no feedback at all! Students given that kind of praise do less well than students given no feedback at all."
— Dylan Wiliam
Take a look at the chart below to understand some common examples and how they could be interpreted. The idea is to praise the process and effort rather than the innate traits when they are successful and when they face setbacks.
The implications of praise are significant. Dylan Wiliam says that effective feedback should make you think and not react emotionally. If the research supports honest, task-specific feedback, how did we breed a generation that expects a trophy for just showing up? Self-esteem is not the most important thing when it comes to self-concept and achievement. In fact, some of the practices of the self-esteem movement run counter to some of the current research, especially in the area of feedback. If we are not giving students awareness of their current performance, we are doing them a disservice. If we are, they can learn to value and grow from it.
Thoughts to Ponder:
The ideas mentioned above are rooted in science (Dweck, 2006). In terms of motivation, research has shown that students are actually better off getting no feedback at all than getting ego-based feedback. Dylan Wiliam states that good feedback should make you think. Other forms of feedback can trigger all kinds of defense mechanisms. This information is important because it actually questions accepted practices of praise dealing with self-esteem.
-> Warning: When changing your praise, remember to have some form of conversation with your target because they are likely going to expect the ego-based praise and might have an emotional response at first. "I have learned something new, and I am going try to give you better information about things you are doing from now on."
-> It might also be helpful when making the switch to give them both forms at first and show how one is more useful. "Before I would have told you that you are a natural when you did well during your soccer game. Now I know it is more helpful to tell you that your practice with passing the ball seems to be helping. What else do you think we can practice?"
-> Task-specific feedback can come in the form of a question — whether there was success or not. If the child is reluctant to answer, have some ideas handy as suggestions to see if they agree. I see you didn't do as well as you had hoped on your math test, what do you think happened? (Crickets?) Do you think we need to practice our facts more — or do you think you didn't read carefully and check your answers? The same question could be asked if the student did great on the math test. Either way, we are keeping next time in mind and not feeling hopeless or complacent about the situation.
The Ripple Effect: How Beliefs About Ability Can Change Everything
A pebble thrown into a pool of water will cause many ripples. Beliefs are like stones thrown into water because they impact the way we view the world and interact with it. Beliefs about ability can have a huge impact on how we approach and deal with life. Mindset can be defined as a set of beliefs or a way of thinking that determines one's behavior, outlook, and mental attitude. What you believe about ability can impact the way you act, react, learn, feel, and think about the world around you.
Beliefs can shape reactions to life situations:
Response to:
Belief: Abilities improve
Belief: Abilities are fixed
with effort and strategies and do not change with
-> a desire to learn effort -> a desire to
appear smart
Challenges:
Embrace challenges as an
Avoid challenges that
opportunity for growth could potentially reveal a
weakness
Obstacles:
Persist through setbacks
Give up easily in the face
and build skills in the of setbacks
process
Effort:
View effort as necessary
View the need for effort as
for growth and success a weakness and indicates
a lack of natural ability
Criticism/feedback:
Learn from feedback
Ignore useful criticism or
make excuses
Success of others:
Feel empowered by the
Feel threatened by the
success of others success of others
Likely result:
People with this belief
People with this belief
about ability will about ability will plateau
reach higher levels of and may not reach their
achievement. They may full potential. They may
also feel more at ease with also experience social and
change. emotional reactions of
anxiety and stress.
(* Based on the research of Carol Dweck, 2006)
Mindset research also makes us reexamine the power of what we say. Stanford University psychologist and author of the book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Dr. Carol Dweck, has done decades of research on motivation. She has designed many studies using kids where the only difference between two groups was one sentence of feedback.
Kids were asked to complete easy puzzles and were told either: "You did well on these. You must be smart at this!" or "You did well on these. You must have worked hard at it!" Not much of a difference, right? Wrong! That one little difference in the feedback sentence triggered a fixed mindset for the ones praised for their intelligence. This was ego-based feedback that triggered a belief that people are born with certain abilities that don't really change. They just exist in the person. On the other hand, a growth mindset was activated for the children who were praised for their effort on the puzzles. This task-specific feedback triggered a belief that abilities can improve with effort and that effort is valued in this situation. The focus is placed on learning new things.
In these two situations, the puzzles were the same. The perspective of them was what shifted within the children. The puzzle was either viewed by the child as a personal judgment of his or her ability or an opportunity to stretch and grow the child's mind. The emotional experience and willingness to take on challenges will be very different depending on the perspective or mindset of the person. The environment and the people they interact with support the development of a new mindset.
This is not a new concept. In the 1970's psychologist Albert Bandura coined the term self-efficacy as the belief in one's ability to solve problems and be successful (Bandura, 2010). This is not self-esteem, which is a realistic or favorable impression of oneself. Carol Dweck added even more clarity to self-efficacy when she coined the terms growth mindset and fixed mindset with contrasting profiles of observable characteristics for each. It shows how the difference in perspective has a significant impact on many other areas many people thought were just personality traits. They actually stem from holding a particular mindset.
Why does mindset matter? It affects the way we view challenges. In the puzzle study mentioned above, when the kids were asked if they wanted to do more easy puzzles or if they wanted more challenging ones to solve, the fixed mindset group chose more easy ones and reported less engagement. The growth mindset group chose more challenging puzzles and reported more engagement. Taking risks is impacted because those with fixed beliefs tend to avoid situations that might reveal weaknesses. This group was also much more likely to lie about their scores when asked how they did to protect their egos. They had no other way of coping with failure. The growth mindset folks overwhelmingly preferred harder puzzles and asked to take home more challenging puzzles.
If a few words can lead children to react in such different ways, this has important implications for life! While I was working in schools and working to help teachers and parents learn about mind-sets, one of the main questions that came up was what to say instead of smart. It is not realistic to think we will get rid of the word. In fact, it is really useful when you add it to words like choice, idea, strategy, or solution. I would help students redefine the understanding of smart to describe a pattern of positive behavior choice — and not people themselves. If you think about it, smart isn't really something you can just be. It is something you do. Just because you have a certain degree doesn't mean you are done learning and putting forth effort. For example, a doctor must work hard to earn a degree, but he or she needs to work hard on each case to practice medicine.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Creating Peace of Mind by Jill M. Reid. Copyright © 2016 Jill Reid. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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