Dead in a Ditch: Growing Up In Texas & Other Near-Death Experiences

by Jody Seay

Overview

I come from a large family. My Mother's biggest fear was that one or all of us would die on her watch when we were babies and then children. As we grew up, her fear shifted a little - not just that we would die, but that we would be found Dead In A Ditch. It was the ditch part that always made it seem so much worse, something drug or alcohol related, to be sure. Mother's children crumpled up and tossed out the window like an old beer can. "Where have you been?" she would say, "I was worried sick. I thought you were dead in a ditch." This was Mother's mantra.

“Dead in a Ditch: Growing Up In Texas & Other Near-Death Experiences” is a memoir, of sorts; essays to chew on and ponder.

“Jody Seay is one funny writer!” – Jerry Juhl, Head Writer for The Muppets

Product Details

BN ID:	2940148936145
Publisher:	Koho Pono, LLC
Publication date:	11/22/2013
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	288
File size:	3 MB

About the Author

My career path has no straight line to it nor through it. Rather, it looks more like a spiral, if I’m feeling especially spiritual, or a Pachinko game if I’m not. I worked for Texas Instruments, an import firm and then I shipped medical supplies all over the world. Rock ‘n roll radio got into my blood in 1974 and I worked for five years at KZEW-FM in Dallas as Promotion Director. This was back in the days of decent rock ‘n roll, back before all the music started sounding like a wildebeest with its genitals caught in the trash compactor; when most of us could still sing along with the radio and know what we were saying. (Except for LOUIE, LOUIE, of course, but that’s always been true; the guys who recorded it don’t even know what the words were.) Then in 1986 I helped my mother die. My writing career began the next night when I sat down at my typewriter and tried to write through the experience.

I am a Texan who never enjoyed sweating, so I moved from Dallas, Texas to Portland, Oregon in 1988. Being a Texan is part of who I am, and part of who I will always be. It is as glommed onto me as a wet saddle blanket, braided like a quirt into my DNA. But I love this rare and wondrous place called Oregon, even with all its dampness and fog. There’s a saying in Portland, especially in the winter: IF YOU CAN SEE THE MOUNTAIN, IT’S GONNA RAIN; IF YOU CAN’T SEE THE MOUNTAIN, IT’S RAINING. Still, it is just so lovely here, so magical, so very much a reminder of the brave souls who risked everything to get here, just like the people who risked it all to make Texas their home. And, because of all that, it’s easier to understand now why I describe myself as a Texan who fell in love with Oregon, and an Oregonian who’ll always be just a little bit in love with Texas. I’m a lucky girl. Both places continue to be good to me. I aim to make them both proud.

I believe words matter. They inspire us, ignite us, open our hearts, and make us laugh ’til tears stream down our cheeks. We are connected by them, mind to mind, heart to heart. In the end, what we know is that words tell our stories, lighting our way on this bumpy, human path, reminding us, as our shoulders brush against each other’s in the darkness, that we are all in this together, making our way home.

Editorial Reviews

“Jody Seay handed me this book and said, 'I hope you laugh so hard you bust your spleen.' I'm happy to say that my spleen survived intact - but my pancreas is still in a splint. Jody Seay is ONE FUNNY WRITER.” - Jerry Juhl, 3-time Emmy Award winner, former head writer for "The Muppets" and Jim Henson Productions, screenwriter for The Muppet Movie and Muppets Treasure Island, head writer for The Muppet Show

Personal - Jerry Juhl

“If you have ever known - or been - a mother who feared everything bad would happen to your children and you would find them 'dead in a ditch', then you must read Jody Seay's hilarious account of her own mother's anxieties. Read it even if you fear that reading makes you go blind... Here is a Texas-size funny book.” - Liz Carpenter, author of author of "Start With A Laugh" and former press secretary for Lady Bird Johnson

Personal - Liz Carpenter

This book is a hilarious memoir of a tomboy Texan, a little comic hellion who takes every dare. Jody Seay is also a worry-wart. How many ways in Texas can you die if you're not careful? If the snakes don't getcha the atom bombs will, and in the meantime, watch out for lockjaw! A smart, funny tough survivor of a goofy family and her own weird antics, Seay (pronounced See) is one helluva writer and a great observer of the absurdities and poignancy of family life.

Personal - Robin Cody