08/08/2022
With a focus on the “challenges, obstacles, stressors, and traps” for the mother-daughter relationship during the tricky “emerging-adult” stage of teen girls’ lives, therapist O’Grady (Dial Down the Drama) offers clear-eyed, practical guidance for mothers about facing drama, rash decisions, and general edgy teen-ness with love and understanding—all while protecting the daughter and the relationship. “Though your daughter is less dependent on you and spending most of her time with her friends, you’re still important to her,” O’Grady writes, “Even though she acts like you’re not.” O’Grady examines sometimes fractious mother-daughter relationships during this period, identifying common communication techniques that make connection between moms and teens challenging, and offering in their place “Powerful Parenting Messages” that she guides readers in crafting and embodying.
Dial Up the Dream argues that, while the mother/daughter relationship changes during these years, there’s no reason that its enduring essence must. To that end, O’Grady writes frankly of the conjoined grief and relief of her own daughter’s leaving for college and the process of letting her go after monitoring her so intimately for so long. Throughout, she writes with the patience of a friend but the authority of a therapist, addressing common fears, worries, and travails, reminding readers that their feelings are familiar and natural, and offering help to calm them. “Expect it to be messy,” she writes, of a daughter’s experimentation with adult selves.
Whether she’s warning against prying, illuminating what transpires in a young person’s not-quite-mature brain, or addressing how to handle a daughter’s setbacks and disappointments, O’Grady proves assured and inviting, offering wisdom—"As the consultant, Mom’s role is one of a coach”—that her book exemplifies: it’s a work of first-rate coaching itself. The guide addresses many everyday issues, though O’Grady wisely leaves issues of addiction or mental illness to the professionals. Smart, concise action steps, exercises, and chapter summaries round out this polished, approachable volume.
Takeaway: This polished, inviting parenting guide illuminates the relationship between mothers and teen daughters.
Great for fans of: Josh Shipp’s The Grown-Up’s Guide to Teenage Humans; Frances E. Jensen and Amy Ellis Nutt’s The Teenage Brain.
Production grades Cover: A Design and typography: A Illustrations: NA Editing: A Marketing copy: A
