Publishers Weekly
06/03/2019
In this compassionate and skillful social analysis, journalist Plank’s first book, she highlights the perils of an unfinished gender revolution that has failed to offer healthy alternatives to archaic expectations for men. She explains that patriarchal norms feed directly into a mental and physical health crisis for men. The shame experienced by men who don’t feel they can embody the dominant, stoic provider archetype creates unaddressed depression and high male suicide rates, and internalized pressure not to ask for help leads men to avoid seeking needed health care. “Moral masculinity panic,” meanwhile, traps men in outdated, pseudoscientific, and possibly self-fulfilling ideas about testosterone and violence, and limits their movement into caring professions where jobs are on the rise. As well, she writes, men romantically interested in women are stuck between the cultural norm of male emotion suppression and potential romantic partners’ expectations of more emotional fluency. Plank intersperses brief profiles of individual men, which allow for exploration of some intersections of race, sexual orientation, and disability with norms of toxic masculinity. Plank’s thoughtful approach and ability to elicit emotional responses from men by engaging them about masculinity as a curious, compassionate outsider yield a well-rounded picture of what contemporary men are facing. Agent: Eve Attermann, William Morris Endeavor. (Sept.)
From the Publisher
A tender, intelligent meditation on why now, more than ever, men deserve more.”—Teen Vogue
“A near-forensically reported examination of modern masculinity and an urgent call to action.”—Vogue
"[A] timely, gimlet-eyed book about toxic masculinity. With sparkling wit and razor-sharp cultural criticism, Plank investigates toxic masculinity and the threat it poses not just to women, children, and society, but to the emotional wellbeing of men themselves."—Esquire ("Best Fall Books of 2019")
“A hopeful prescription.”—GQ
“Plank's empathy and hope are palpable."—Pop Sugar
"[A] compassionate and skillful social analysis. Plank’s thoughtful approach and ability to elicit emotional responses from men by engaging them about masculinity as a curious, compassionate outsider yield a well-rounded picture of what contemporary men are facing"—Publishers Weekly
"For the Love of Men offers a blueprint for men to examine themselves and how they think about gender."—NPR
Kirkus Reviews
2019-06-30
Journalist and video blogger Plank's spirited first book addresses the problems men face in trying to live up to outmoded concepts of masculinity.
While the author considers in passing the effects of what she calls "toxic masculinity" on women who often experience its unfortunate side effects, her main emphasis is on the men whose lives it damages. Writing in staccato bursts and frequently citing experts she has interviewed as well as written sources, Plank makes the case that what we consider masculine traits are socially determined rather than innate and that men at this point in time may be more limited by gender expectations than women are. "We updated what it means to be a woman, but we didn't update what it meant to be a man," she writes. For example, she suggests, women are beginning to feel free to express anger, while men are less apt to express fear or sadness. Women can comfortably wear the kind of clothing traditionally reserved for men, while men don't have the luxury of wearing women's clothing without comment. At the heart of the male dilemma, writes the author, is the "male shame spiral" in which men feel guilty about not being able to live up to the traditional macho ideal and then feel increasingly ashamed because they have to hide their feelings. Plank intersperses her longer chapters with short sections she labels "amuse-bouche," most of which introduce men who are defying conventional definitions of masculinity. At times, she can be glib and given to metaphors that try to be folksy. "Freedom is like pancakes at IHOP: you can't run out," she writes. While persuading the target male audience to read the book may be a challenge, those who take the leap will find plenty to think about.
A canny appeal to the self-interest of men in reforming gender roles.
