Publishers Weekly
07/05/2021
Gerson debuts with an illuminating memoir-cum-guide to dealing with grief as a single woman. Gerson grounds her advice in her experience of dealing with the death of her father, who suffered from a fatal brain disease, while moving and renovating a house on the other side of the country: “It is you, first and foremost, who gets to be your partner through your grief, and for the rest of your life.” To assuage suffering, she recommends creating a routine, connecting with one’s spirituality (included are prayer routines for multiple religions), and setting boundaries on what one’s “physical, mental, and emotional capacity will be used and for what purpose.” Gerson’s affirming message nudges readers toward identifying what they need for themselves, no matter how much it differs from the advice they may be given: “Whatever it is you need to mourn, you have my permission.” Gerson’s willingness to explore the depth and breadth of personal loss will help those grieving know they are not alone. (Sept.)
Kiese Laymon
"Merissa Gerson has created a neon treatise on the art and necessity of grieving. Forget Prayers, Bring Cake is a lushly crafted offering that we have never needed more than now. I've not read many books that made me write "Thank you" when I finished the last word. Thank you."
Rebecca Soffer
"Through her warm writing style, creative ideas and inviting visuals, Merissa Nathan Gerson strikes the perfect tone between 'commiserating woman who's been there' and 'practical grief doula.' As a former single grieving woman who flailed for a while before finding her way, where was this book when I needed it the most?"
Hey Alma
"There’s someone in your life — maybe it’s you — who absolutely needs this book."
Deborah Miller
"Where the book truly shines as a “guide to grieving” is in showcasing the abundance of ways that readers can be in nurturing relationships in which they are called to care for mourners. This book is significant for anyone who may be accompanying a grieving family member, friend, or acquaintance and wants to do so with compassion. Gerson’s gift is to illustrate that mourners need not rely on a single person, and need not do their grieving in private, if there are partners, of all kinds, who are willing to meet them in their pain."
Library Journal
★ 09/01/2021
Gerson (an intergenerational trauma consultant on the set of Amazon's hit show Transparent) is no stranger to grief. Here she reflects on grieving as a single person, drawing on her training in inherited trauma and her own grief after the death of her father. Through lenses both professional and personal, she describes working her way through anguish at the loss, while living alone and moving to a new city; there's particular attention to practicalities like paying bills, and interpersonal matters like maintaining (or not maintaining) romantic relationships. One of her most significant suggestions is to memorialize the dead via a ritual of one's own making (writing, making photo montages—anything that bridges the past and the future). VERDICT An excellent resource for readers dealing with grief or trauma on their own.—Deborah Bigelow, Director Emerita, Leonia P.L., NJ
