Free to Be Fabulous: 100 Ways to Look and Feel Younger-AT 40, 50 and BEYOND
222
Free to Be Fabulous: 100 Ways to Look and Feel Younger-AT 40, 50 and BEYOND
222Paperback
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Overview
"Free to Be Fabulous: 100 Ways to Look and Feel Younger at 40, 50, and Beyond" shows you how to turn back the clock painlessly in four areas. We’ll start with Beauty and how to make the most of what God gave us. Beliefs will help us make our minds as sharp as possible and show how our attitudes determine our happiness. Then, Body will teach us how to keep everything inside working well and Behavior will help us relate to others.
It takes 21 days to change a habit, so if you alter one thing every three weeks, you can make 17 modifications in a year. Try these suggestions one at a time, and you could become a new person by your next birthday!
Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781630474102 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | Morgan James Publishing |
| Publication date: | 05/05/2015 |
| Pages: | 222 |
| Product dimensions: | 5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.70(d) |
About the Author
Read an Excerpt
CHAPTER 1
Before I Was Fabulous
* * *
The thing I'm the most proud of in my personal life is that my daughter actually thinks that I'm fabulous.
–Brooke Shields
I wasn't always fabulous. It's not something I aspired to as a child or a teen, and it didn't seem possible when I was a young adult.
My early childhood was spent living in subsidized housing, commonly called "the projects," where no one was fabulous and I had no hope of ever being so. It was a dreary existence, not something I would wish on anyone.
Then my life changed.
This section will cover my before and after becoming fabulous, and show you how to do the same. Stick with me. You'll be amazed at how you and your life can change.
1. Don't be as old as you used to be.
Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at 20 or 80. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.
–Henry Ford
I was an old lady at 39, much older than I am today. No, I'm not like Benjamin Button, the fictional character who lived his life backwards, growing from an old man to a young boy. But in my heart and mind, I really am younger than I used to be. And I look it, too.
Back in my late thirties, I was unhappy in my marriage and my career, grossly overweight, insecure, and hiding from the world inside extra-large black and navy-blue garments.
When clothes shopping (which was seldom), I would start with the last size I bought, discover that it didn't fit, have to try on a larger garment, and then go home teary-eyed and empty-handed. Makeup was minimal and I cut my own hair, which was less than flattering. I'll admit it — I was a frumpy old woman.
When I wasn't working at a job I hated, I took care of a home, a husband, a teen and a preteen, resenting the fact that I didn't get to finish my college education. I didn't have, or rather didn't take, time for myself. I did just like my mother and so many other women: spent all my time and energy on everyone else and nothing on me.
I had one particularly "ugly day." You know what that is: your makeup looks clownish, your hair has a mind of its own, your clothes don't fit right, and your body feels like it belongs in the hippo exhibit at the zoo. Eventually, I burst into tears.
My loving husband, ever the sensitive one, took me in his arms and asked what the problem was.
Between sobs, everything spilled out in one long sentence: "My-teeth- stick-out,-I'm-fat-,my-clothes-look-horrible,-my-hair-is-a-mess,-I-can't-do- anything-right,and-I'm-ugly." Then I took a breath, waiting for a supportive response.
He looked me in the eye and gently replied, "But you try harder than anyone I know."
Well, that was less than what I had hoped for. But at least it brought a laugh, which I really needed. His comment described what I did all the time: I tried. Didn't succeed at much of anything, but I definitely tried.
Compare that to today. I am many years older but not nearly as heavy. I've earned two college degrees, am an author and a public speaker, and have self-confidence. I wear brightly-colored clothing and I like what I see in the mirror. I look and feel fabulous and secure in who I am.
What made the difference?
I did the laundry. No, really! I did the laundry.
As I was folding clothes one day, I held up a pair of my sturdy white cotton briefs and was instantly transported to childhood, when my sister and I would fold the family's laundry. We held up a pair of Mom's underwear and laughed hysterically. They were huge! And now, here I was, holding up that same huge pair of underwear. Well, not literally the same pair, but they looked the same and were just as big as Mom's.
That was my "Aha! moment." I realized I was becoming my mother and I was thinking, acting, and looking much older than my age.
My family has a history of dying young, mostly from weight-related illnesses and heart problems, things that are preventable. Understanding how similar I was to my mother shook me to the core. She never finished high school, had her first heart attack at the age of 49, and died fourteen years later after many surgeries and hospital stays. Dreading the same fate, I decided not to let that happen to me.
First, I enrolled in night courses at a Christian college near our home. My employer had a tuition-reimbursement program, so it would cost me only time and effort to get that elusive degree.
Then I went shopping, but not for the conservative clothes I normally bought. This time, I was looking for pretty underwear, something Mom would never have worn. I wanted lovely, lacy, and (dare I say it?) sexy undergarments to replace those briefs and functional old-lady bras.
What happened was not just a clothing change but an attitude shift. Wearing something lacy close to my skin made me feel pretty and confident. I developed a positive outlook that I had only been faking up to that point.
That mindset ingrained itself in me and expanded into other areas of my life. I acted like I knew what I was at college, and my classmates and professors began asking for my input. I started wearing splashes of color to brighten my dark wardrobe. I copied makeup from magazines and had my hair cut professionally into a modern style.
Because I was feeling better, I began to smile and laugh more. And since I no longer needed food for comfort, I lost weight.
A few years later, I became single again (not a result of the "try harder" remark, by the way). In my forties, I remarried and the wedding photographer asked my two sisters which one was my mother. That remark made them angry but made me smile. My new choices had made me younger.
After Bryan and I married, we discussed how we'd like to see the other person change. I was miffed when Bryan said he'd like me to have a closer walk with the Lord. I attended church most of my life and had raised my boys in the church. What could he possibly mean?
But as I began to spend regular time reading my Bible and praying, I learned what a real relationship with God can be. That changed not only how I spent my mornings, but also my attitude toward others and my patience with the world.
I finally discovered what truly fabulous people know: beauty comes from within and starts with the right attitude. All the rest of the stuff, what you see on the outside, is the shell that houses the real beauty. And just because you're aging, you don't need to look or feel old.
2. Fabulous is simple, but not easy.
I wish I could just go tell all the young women I work with, all these fabulous women, "Believe in yourself and negotiate for yourself. Own your own success." I wish I could tell that to my daughter. But it's not that simple.
–Sheryl Sandberg
If you read my Table of Contents, you may think that it looks too easy to make a difference in your life. That was done intentionally. I don't want you to give up before you start.
When I was a teenager, I perused magazines with pictures of beautiful women and wished I could look like them. For a day or two after every televised beauty pageant, I strutted around the house, pretending to have a crown on my head. But as a plain, pimply-faced fat girl, all I could do was dream.
When I became a woman, I resigned myself to being a plain-Jane church lady, with nothing to make me stand out from the crowd. I figured I'd end up looking just like my mother.
Then I read a book by Florence Littauer called It Takes So Little to Be Above Average. Florence made it clear that we can easily be above average in many areas.
I was sure I could never be more than average in appearance, so I decided to be an above-average mom, wife, employee, musician, and everything else.
At times it was difficult not to settle for average, especially in mundane things like mowing my lawn or driving a car. And I probably made it more difficult than it needed to be. But I achieved the results I was seeking.
I hope that, by reading this book, you'll discover ways to be fabulous without working as hard as I did.
3. Fabulosity 101
Somebody who can reckon with the past, who can live with the past in the present, and move towards the future — that's fabulous.
–Bruce Springsteen
Free to be Fabulous contains practical ideas to incorporate into your life. Some may work for you and others may not. Take what you like and discard the rest.
There are no magic pills, super cosmetics, or enchanted secrets here, just ideas. They may be "secret" in that you haven't heard of them before, but there's nothing extraordinary about them. No expensive lotions or super creams and definitely no drastic changes like plastic surgery or injections. Most of these ideas are just common sense.
It can take 21 days or longer to make or change a habit. So pick one and try it every day for three weeks to see if it works for you. Once it's ingrained, move on to another suggestion. At that rate, you could make seventeen changes in the next year. Talk about a makeover!
If you read an idea or try one and decide you don't like it, no problem. Any change is up to you, so don't feel pressured. This is an individual journey. Choose your own steps.
Since it's much easier, quicker and more noticeable to others if you change the outside, you might want to start with the Beauty and Body sections. Changes inside, like attitude and emotions, take longer to show themselves, but they can be the most satisfying. Do whatever feels right for you and have fun along the way.
This is an exciting ride. I should know — I've been on this journey for over 20 years and I'm still finding ways to improve. There's always some area that needs work. That's humbling but oh so rewarding.
I hope you'll muster the courage to hop on this ride and enjoy yourself. I think you'll be pleased with the result.
Make the most of yourself ... for that is all there is of you.
–Ralph Waldo Emerson
CHAPTER 2MAKEUP
* * *
The best thing is to look natural, but it takes makeup to look natural.
–Calvin Klein
My pale skin is less than flattering. In fact, if I go anywhere without makeup, I feel like people are staring at me, and not because I look good.
When I first started using makeup, I only emphasized my features: mascara to open my eyes, a little blush on the cheeks, and a wisp of lipstick. It was easy to apply and helped my self-confidence. After a while, I decided that my face needed more, so I added foundation and eye colors. These little touches made me feel attractive, and gave me a reason to smile as I entered a room.
Another good reason for makeup is that you can look healthy even when you're not feeling well. I had an upset stomach last week and, with puffy eyes and red splotches from chin to hairline, I looked exactly like I felt: lousy. Unfortunately, I had a speaking engagement and couldn't hide at home. A thicker foundation covered the splotches on my face and gave me the color that I lacked. When I added blush, eye shadow, liner, and mascara, I no longer looked sick.
Makeup is an individual choice, not only how much and what colors but how often you use it. For me, it never fails — when I decide to spend the day at home without makeup, that's when someone invites me to lunch with a half-hour notice. So I "put on my face" every day. It makes me feel more confident and I've found that I actually get more work done.
Using makeup is like wearing pretty underwear. Your self-esteem shouldn't depend on it, but you may feel better with it. I know I do. Makeup should enhance your confidence, not determine it.
Below are some ideas to help emphasize your good features, deemphasize those you're not crazy about, and build up your confidence in the process. Try them a little at a time so you're not shocked by the transformation.
1. Apply foundation to cover flaws and put your best face forward.
Makeup is different for every person. Everyone has a different feature on their face that they like to show off.
–Lauren Conrad
No one has perfect skin. Even most models have to cover up imperfections and emphasize some features to look beautiful. Cindy Crawford has often said, "Even I don't look like Cindy Crawford in the morning."
As we age, we can get darker spots on our cheeks and rings under our eyes. Some ladies may have a noticeable birthmark or may develop spots of skin with no pigmentation. But it's easy to even out skin tones with foundation.
When I was a teen, my parents wouldn't allow me to use makeup, so I hid it in my purse and applied it when I arrived wherever I was going. Once, I was sitting behind my dad in the car on the way to church, putting on makeup using his rear-view mirror. Unfortunately, Mom caught me and yelled, "What do you think you're doing?"
I was too embarrassed to reply, "Improving my appearance." Instead, I said the usual, "I don't know." I hid my makeup better after that.
Even though we no longer have teen acne to worry about or need to hide our makeup from our parents, we may wamt to cover imperfections so we can be more beautiful. Foundation gives an even skin tone and concealer covers the occasional flaw.
I saw a commercial about makeup for men, mostly to hide flaws and dark circles. The announcer called it "camouflage" so guys wouldn't feel emasculated using it. Maybe it should be called "Camou-flaws" since it was intended to disguise facial flaws. By the way, I only saw that commercial once, so I have no idea who made it. Guess it wasn't as big a seller as they had hoped.
There's no shame in using makeup. In fact, people today have come to expect it, especially on women. If you've never used it, try it before you decide.
2. Use foundation that's slightly lighter or darker than your skin.
I love the confidence that makeup gives me.
–Tyra Banks
Many people believe that tanned skin looks beautiful. It might, but it will look unnatural if your face is a different color from the rest of you. Instead of rubbing a tan on just your face, go with foundation the same color as your skin or one shade lighter or darker. That way, you won't look like you have someone else's head stuck on your body. A perfectly-made-up face with a line along the jaw separating it from a lighter or darker neck looks unnatural. It's much better to have the same color from forehead to neckline.
If you're blessed with naturally bronzed skin, you'll probably need less makeup. You may want to even out your tone to make your face appear flawless or touch up a little imperfection. Look in a mirror critically to see where you could improve.
Your skin color may darken or lighten as you spend more or less time outside, so alter your makeup to match the season. Use a darker shade for summer and lighter for winter. During spring and fall, put a little of both shades of liquid foundation on the back of your hand, mix them, and then apply to your face. You can add more dark or light depending on how pale or tanned you've become.
Makeup can accumulate in the creases of your skin, especially in wrinkles. One way to prevent this is to dab it on lightly. Another is to add a dusting of face powder, which can set the foundation and keep it where you want it.
Ironically, the trick is to apply makeup to not look made up. Your face is the canvas on which to paint.
3. Apply mascara to open up your eyes.
Makeup is scary. When I do it myself, it's just mascara, and sometimes I forget even to do that.
–Sandra Bullock
My son was born with long, dark, curly eyelashes. Decades later, he still has them. Most people aren't that lucky, including me. But thanks to thin lips and a "cute little button nose," my eyes are my best feature, so I apply mascara every day.
You may be tempted to buy the blackest shade available. I wouldn't recommend that, except for evening or occasions when you want a dramatic look. Dark mascara can smudge and give you raccoon eyes. And having that kind of impact all the time gives you nowhere to expand when you want to look even better.
Instead, for everyday use, try a shade that's a little darker than your hair. And use waterproof if you think you might be crying. Black streaks down the cheeks are not pretty on anyone.
When I was going through a rough time in my life, my mascara would run when I cried, which was often. I had my beautician dye my lashes so I wouldn't need mascara. The process took about 20 minutes and lasted several months. The color didn't flake, run, or rub off. Dyeing might also be good if you're going on your honeymoon or somewhere you want to look gorgeous day and night.
If you're not blessed with eyelashes that curl naturally, use a lash curler. Use it before applying mascara, or your lashes may be brittle and break when you squeeze them.
Be sure the curler is in good working order. I heard of a lady who lost one of the cushions from her curler but used it anyway. Instead of curling the lashes on her right eye, she snipped them off! She could have snipped off the left set of lashes to match and waited until they grew back. Instead, she learned how to apply false eyelashes to both eyes.
I guess there's always a silver lining — and more than one way to use makeup to your advantage.
4. Get a hands-on makeover.
I love sitting in the makeup trailer and getting my makeup done in 15 minutes as opposed to an hour and a half.
–Claire Danes
Remember the TV show Rhoda? The title character was played by Valerie Harper, with Julie Kavner as her sister Brenda.
On one episode, when Brenda walked in, she was beautiful! Absolutely stunning, drop-dead gorgeous. The studio audience reacted with "oohs" and "aahs" and applause. Brenda told Rhoda she'd gone to a department store for a makeover, after which she had purchased every product the saleslady used on her face.
Brenda then put two huge shopping bags on the table with all the items she bought, costing hundreds of dollars. She said, "I have all this stuff, but I have no idea what to do with it."
That's the problem. A makeover at the mall or a department store can make you look beautiful, but if someone else does all the work, you probably won't know how to duplicate it when you get home. Watching someone else apply makeup to your face isn't the same as doing it yourself. And it doesn't give you the confidence you'll need to do it every morning.
Instead, get a makeover where you paint your own face. Some makeup companies like Mary Kay host makeover events. Each lady gets her own mirror along with makeup products to match her skin and eye colors. Since she applies it herself, she can recreate the look at home.
My friend Donna (she's on the cover) is a Mary Kay representative and hosted a party like this. We all brought snacks and beverages and had a great time. We took "before" and "after" pictures of everyone so each lady could see how much better she looked with makeup she applied following the expert's advice. We even had feather boas, sequined tops, and other fun accessories to glamorize ourselves for the photographs. The event gave us lots of memories along with the knowledge and ability to make ourselves beautiful every day.
After your face looks exactly the way you want it, buy the products you used during your makeover. It's easier to copy the appearance if you use the same merchandise. When you need to replenish your supply, buy it from the same representative. If that's not an option, take the used-up package to a store and find something that matches closely.
(Continues…)
Excerpted from "Free To Be Fabulous"
by .
Copyright © 2015 Debbie Hardy.
Excerpted by permission of Morgan James Publishing.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Section 1: BasicsChapter 1: BEFORE I WAS FABULOUS
Section 2: BEAUTY
Chapter 2: MAKEUP
Chapter 3: SKIN
Chapter 4: HAIR
Chapter 5: CLOTHING
Section 3: BELIEFS
Chapter 6: ATTITUDE
Chapter 7: FAITH
Chapter 8: Brain
Chapter 9: DREAMS & WISHES
Section 4: BODY
Chapter 10: HEALTH
Chapter 11: EATING
Chapter 12: EXERCISE
Section 5: BEHAVIOR
Chapter 13: RELATIONSHIPS
Chapter 14: Sleep
Chapter 15: Surroundings
Section 6: BETTER YOU