Freedom from Your Inner Critic: A Self-Therapy Approach

by Jay Earley Ph.D., Bonnie Weiss MA, LCSW

Overview

We've all heard the voice of the inner critic—that part of us that judges us, shames us, and makes us feel inadequate. "You don't want to give in to the Critic, and it doesn't really work to fight against it," explains Dr. Jay Earley. "But there is a way to transform it into an invaluable ally." With Freedom from Your Inner Critic, Dr. Earley and psychotherapist Bonnie Weiss present a self-therapy approach for uncovering the psychological roots of our self-sabotaging inner voices and restoring our sense of worthiness. Filled with insights, case studies, and practical self-therapy exercises, this breakthrough book explores:

How to connect with your Inner Critic through the groundbreaking approach of Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy
• The seven varieties of the Inner Critic and their positive intent
• Healing your Criticized Child that is hurt by your Inner Critic
• Awakening your Inner Champion—the antidote to the influence of your Inner Critic
• How to transform your Inner Critic and learn to love yourself
• How our self-confidence, motivation, and courage improve when we are free from our Inner Critics
"Self-esteem is our birthright," says Dr. Earley. "And even the most intractable Inner Critic can learn to let go and allow you to blossom." Freedom from Your Inner Critic offers a solution to one of our greatest psychological challenges—so you can reclaim your confidence, freedom, and joy in life.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781604079425
Publisher:	Sounds True, Incorporated
Publication date:	09/01/2013
Pages:	160
Sales rank:	501,047
Product dimensions:	5.90(w) x 8.80(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

Jay Earley
Jay Earley, PhD is a psychologist, group leader, psychotherapist, teacher, and theorist. He is a specialist in IFS Therapy and the author of numerous books, including Self-Therapy. See personal-growth-programs.com.

Bonnie Weiss
Bonnie Weiss, LCSW has been a psychotherapist for individuals, couples, and families in her private practice and for several public agencies. She teaches workshops on IFS and self-esteem. See personal-growth-programs.com.

Table of Contents

Introduction vii

Chapter 1 Getting to Know Your Inner Critic 1

Chapter 2 A New View of the Inner Critic 7

Chapter 3 Coming into Self Unblending from Your Critic and Child 19

Chapter 4 Becoming Open to Your Critic: Unblending from Your Inner Defender 27

Chapter 5 Befriending Your Inner Critic 33

Chapter 6 Uncovering the Origins of Your Criticized Child 43

Chapter 7 Healing Your Inner Children 57

Chapter 8 Transforming Your Inner Critic 67

Chapter 9 Transforming an Inner Critic with a Legacy Burden 81

Chapter 10 Awakening Your Inner Champion 91

Chapter 11 Cultivating Your Inner Mentor 101

Chapter 12 Criticism in Relationships 109

Chapter 13 Perfectionism 115

Chapter 14 Addictions 121

Chapter 15 Gender and the Inner Critic 127

Conclusion Living Free of Your Inner Critics 131

Glossary 135

Notes 139

Resources 141

Acknowledgments 145

About the Authors 147

Editorial Reviews

In this revelatory volume, psychotherapists Earley (Embracing Intimacy) and Weiss (The Illustrated Inner Critic Workbook) explain the origins of self-critical impulses, and then show how to cope with them effectively. Relying heavily on Internal Family Systems Therapy, an approach developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz to facilitate constructive inner dialogue, the authors explore the seven types of internal critics (“Perfectionist,” “Inner Controller,” “Taskmaster,” “Underminer,” “Destroyer,” “Guilt Tripper,” and “Molder”) and highlight both the negative and the positive effects each can have on one’s life. Earley and Weiss posit that the roots of these critical subpersonalities can be traced back to childhood, when they evolved as mechanisms for survival—a child’s Inner Controller, for example, might ensure she doesn’t talk back to an abusive parent and therefore exacerbate the abuse. But once that child becomes an adult, certain of these constructs are rendered obsolete, though they remain extant and active. The authors offer actionable steps for retraining oneself to activate one’s inner champion and live free of these harmful inner critics. Practical exercises bulwark every step along the way, making this a pragmatic and immensely helpful guide for anyone struggling with issues stemming from childhood. (Sept.)

Publishers Weekly

"In this comprehensive self-help guide, psychologist Jay Earley and psychotherapist Bonnie Weiss offer specific strategies and tactics designed to blunt the negative damage caused by this voice, which they label the 'Inner Critic.' The authors write with clarity, precision, and authority. Clearly, not everyone will be able to rid themselves of internal struggles simply by reading this book; however, those with the discipline to follow the authors' programmatic approach from start to finish could see significant results."
—Barry Silverstein, ForeWord Reviews

"Earley and Weiss have given us a detailed and elegantframework to help us transform inner criticism. With numerous examples of successful work with the inner critic, sparkling insights throughout, and their clear charting of a path of healing and transformation, they have provided a very valuable resource, one that I will recommend to my students."
—Donald Rothberg, author of The Engaged Spiritual Life

"I am very grateful to Jay Earley for his . . . substantial contribution to the literature on Internal Family Systems Therapy."
—Richard Schwartz, PhD, creator of the IFS model

"Jay has the gift of both insight and teaching..."
—Geneen Roth, author of When Food Is Food and Love Is Love



“What our life could be if we were free from our inner critic! This book helps all of us take the necessary steps to tame this monster.”
—Peter A. Levine, PhD, author of Healing Trauma and Freedom from Pain

“Earley and Weiss have given us a detailed and elegant framework to help us transform inner criticism. With numerous examples of successful work with the inner critic, sparkling insights throughout, and their clear charting of a path of healing and transformation, they have provided a very valuable resource, one that I will recommend to my students.”
—Donald Rothberg, author of The Engaged Spiritual Life and member of the Teacher’s Council, Spirit Rock Meditation Center
 
“This extraordinarily helpful book—using transcripts from real conversations, playful illustrations, checklists, and questionnaires—clearly shows a step-by-step process of diminishing the critic’s power and transforming it into an ally through psychological alchemy. They’ve found the perfect balance point by writing a book that isn’t too dense in theory to be useful and isn’t too superficial to have much lasting impact.”
—James Flaherty, author of Coaching: Evoking Excellence in Others

From the Publisher