If you're in the process of separating// getting a divorce ----- OR thinking about it ----- this book describes the usually-not-spoken-about HIDDEN issues that the non-alcoholic spouse is confronted with--- when going through this with an alcoholic.
Chapters titles include ----
* Everybody blames the family
* Don't try to make sense out of their nonsense
* Knowing that it's hard to lose an alcoholic, helps us to calm down and keep us on the recovery path
* The irregular behavior of the alcoholic keeps us attached
* The alcoholic does not exist separately from the alcoholism
* Excited misery keeps us attached to the alcoholic
* Our need to caretake keeps us attached to the alcoholic
* Facing our illusions ends their power to hurt us
* Quick ways to detach
* "I had to stop 'being so strong' so I could get the help I needed"
* Remember the facts
* It's YOUR decision whether or not to separate---- it's not your counselor's decision
* Perfectionism
* Courage to change the things we can
* "I was able to decide to leave, even though he was sober and I was physically ill"
* Share your story with discretion
* What are examples of crazymaking that counselors should inherently know in order for us to trust their advice-giving?
* "How counseling helped me decide"
* "But he looks so good since we're separated. Maybe he's not an alcoholic?"
* "But he's drinking less since we're separated. Can he be getting better?"
* "I can't stop being angry with him!"
* "When I see my alcoholic husband and he's nice to me, I get upset!"
* "I can't forgive him"
* "My denial, my compassion, and my guilt pulled me down into it with him, again"
* "I've dropped the divorce proceedings six times, now"
* "I feel guilty because I think I didn't do enough to make him want to be sober"
* "I left a sober alcoholic"
* "If I give up obsession, do I have to give up hope?"
* "How can I help him after we're separated?"
* What are the real problems about dating again?
* Answering your legal questions about alcoholism, divorce, children, and court-ordered evaluations
* Intervention
TOBY DREWS' OTHER BOOKS---------
"Getting Them Sober, volume one" ----------- Hundreds of practical and effective suggestions for sobriety and recovery. With over a million copies sold, largely by word-of-mouth----- this book is endorsed by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, by 'dear Abby' (who said ''this book should be read by everyone''), and by Melody Beattie (author of Codependent No More) -- who said "'Getting Them Sober' is the BEST book for the family of the still-drinking alcoholic.''
Other books in this award-winning series are --------
"Getting Them Sober, volume 2" (more on total family healing)
"Getting Them Sober, volume 3'' (half the book details the 350 secondary diseases // disorders to alcoholism)
"Getting Your Children Sober" (for parents of children ages 9 to 59 who have addiction problems)
"Sex & the Sober Alcoholic"
"Get Rid of Anxiety and Stress''
"Getting Them Sober Action Guide''
