Gork, the Teenage Dragon: A novel

by Gabe Hudson

Overview

A TODAY Show Pick • A love story, a fantasy, and a coming-of-age story, Gork the Teenage Dragon is a wildly comic, beautifully imagined, and deeply heartfelt novel that shows us just how human a dragon can be.

“Charming and wildly imaginative.”—BuzzFeed

“The fun is in the gonzo, sci-fi fantasy details. . . . Hudson seems to be taking cues from Terry Pratchett’s Discworld novels and Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, with perhaps a smattering of Kurt Vonnegut, Joseph Campbell and Mark Twain.”
—San Francisco Chronicle
 
Gork is the nerdiest dragon at WarWings Military Academy. He has a giant heart and tiny horns. His nickname is Weak Sauce. Today before his high school graduation, he must ask a female dragon to be his queen. The result is a rollicking quest for true love on the most madcap day ever known to a high school senior – dragon or otherwise.

Along the way, Gork gets help from his best friend Fribby, a fierce female robot dragon who is brilliant, snarky, and totally obsessed with death; and Athenos II, his sentient spaceship who carries a shocking secret from his childhood. Ultimately, Gork will have to lock horns with his evil grandfather, Dr. Terrible. Can a quest for true love make a hero out of a dragon?

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781524732479
Publisher:	Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group
Publication date:	07/11/2017
Sold by:	Random House
Format:	eBook
Pages:	400
File size:	1 MB

About the Author

Gabe Hudson received his MFA from Brown University, where he was awarded the John Hawkes Prize in Fiction. His fiction has been published in The New Yorker and McSweeney’s. He has received the Sue Kaufman Prize for First Fiction from the American Academy of Arts and Letters, and was a PEN/Hemingway Finalist. He died in 2023.

Read an Excerpt

[3]

THE FIRST TIME I MEET DR. TERRIBLE,
IT HAPPENS ON PLANET EARTH

We were deep into winter and the forest was beset with famine.
I spent my nights staggering around, desperate with hunger. The snow was thick on the forest floor. The effort of flapping my wings made me dizzy and when I tried to fly I instantly fell to the ground. Then came The Night When Everything Changed.
That night, I happened upon a big buck deer hiding in some undergrowth. I remember there was a full moon in the sky, and I had walked near some brush when all of a sudden this big buck deer exploded out of there. And I looked up in surprise to see its brown hindquarters bounding off through the snow under the moonlight. Anyway, I bolted after it and even in my weakened state, I just managed to chase it down.

Well, I still remember how I was poised there over my fresh kill in the snow, and I was eating ravenously from it. Because for the last couple weeks the hunger pains had been gnawing at my insides. And that’s why I didn’t do what I would have normally done in that situation, which would be to take my fresh kill back to the shiny chamber and eat it in peace. Behind the safety of that clear door.

So I tore into my feast with my beak right there in the little snowy clearing, and I was chowing down under the moonlight like the starving beast that I was. And I figure that’s the only reason I didn’t notice the big gray wolf until it was too late.

Because normally my horns would’ve started tingling to warn me of an imminent threat. But unfortunately my horns were starving too. My little scaly green ass had been delirious with hunger for so long and now I was eating with my whole body. Plus I was only three years old at the time and nowhere near a fully grown dragon and still technically in my infancy.

But the instant I looked up and saw that big gray wolf standing there in the moonlit snow and growling and baring its fangs, well I knew I’d made a mistake. I should’ve known the scent of fresh blood would go out on the night wind like an alarm bell.

Then the wolf suddenly glided in closer and studied me with his piercing yellow eyes. He snarled and crouched low on coiled haunches. You could tell the wolf was going to pounce any second. My black heart was hammering away in my chest and my fool horns were tingling like crazy.

Thankfully, by that point the fresh meat in my belly had not only cleared my head, it also gave me a massive boost of strength. So I just looked that fool wolf in the eye and ripped a thunderous belch and a restream flashed out my beak and blasted that thieving wolf in its furry haunches. Or it would’ve anyway, if that wolf hadn’t anticipated what I was going to do and leapt and danced away right before my flame zapped the spot on the ground where he’d just been.

Then I heard a terrible sound coming from behind me, and this sound made the scales on the back of my long green neck stand straight up. For as long as I live, I will never forget that terrible sound. Or the fear I felt when I heard it.

Because this sound was the deranged bloodthirsty howls of an entire wolf pack rushing in to attack me from behind. I realized only then that the first wolf had merely been acting as a decoy, something to distract me.

I was suddenly knocked off my webbed feet from behind. And in a flash I was pinned down there in the snow under what felt like a mountain of fur, and those wolves’ hot breath was all over me. Their jaws were snapping and I could feel their fangs sinking deep into my soft belly, over and over and over. These beasts were mad with hunger. Now one of those fiendish wolves snarled and plunged its fangs into the flesh of my right wing, and this same wolf wrenched its jaws and savagely ripped my wing in half and I felt the hot cutting pain explode all over my body.

I howled. In agony, but also in terror. Because in that instant I knew with my ripped wing I couldn’t fly out of there, and now my only hope of escape would come down to a footrace in the snow.

So I fought like a bastard, buried under that pile of thirty or so giant wolves. I tapped into my rage. I clawed and bit and blasted fire. I managed to get in a couple of good licks, too. I tore fur and flesh with my fangs. I felt my claws slice to the bone. And I savored the sweet taste of wolf blood in my beak. Yes sir.

But by and large I was getting the worst of it. And I knew if I didn’t do something quick then I’d be dead. I was bleeding from all those puncture wounds in my belly, and my right wing was hanging off my wingjoint in tatters. And I was still suffocating under all that fur as they tore me to shreds and it dawned on me then that these bastards wouldn’t stop until they’d gnawed every last bit of flesh off my bones.

So after blasting countless rebolts to the point where my throat was raw and shredded, I finally managed to twist out from under and leap away from the pack and start running through the snow on my hind legs. I lit out of there in a flash.

The pack of wolves instantly set off after me. As I ran I could feel their hot raging breath closing in and could hear the terrifying clack sound of their jaws snapping shut right on my heels. They were howling and snarling and lunging at me and yet still I kept running with no thought in my head but that of sheer terror.

My little webbed feet were flying.

This was all new to me. I was bleeding out of the dozens of puncture holes in my belly and could hear my tattered wing flapping behind me as I ran. I left a bright red blood trail right there in the snow under the moonlight, and my lungs were heaving so hard it felt like they were going to pop.

And then there it was.

The clear door.
I don’t know how I did it, but I’d somehow managed to race all the way back to the shiny
chamber with the pack of wolves hot on my heels. I could see the clear door right there in front of me, maybe twenty feet up ahead, and I was shooting toward it at full throttle. But as I raced forward I realized with a sinking heart that there was just one problem. I couldn’t afford to stop and open the door, on account of even that one split second it’d take to stop and slide open the door would mean certain death. Because the wolves would instantly be upon me and tear my scaly green ass to shreds.

Well I was scared out of my mind and didn’t know what to do. I figured for sure I was done for. As I flashed forward I decided right then and there that I’d rather die on my own terms than those of these beasts snarling at my backside.

So without much hope I lowered my head and kicked in the after- burners and launched forward, a green blur shooting right at the door. I reckoned it’d be better to die by ramming my head straight into the clear door. Because at least that way I wouldn’t be alive as the wolves gorged themselves on my flesh.

But at the last second, as I prepared to meet my maker, well that clear door suddenly slid open in a flash.

I shot across the threshold. The door flew shut. And I crashed into the far wall of the chamber. Suddenly there were thirty enraged wolves howling and repeatedly lunging at the clear door and slavering foamy drool all over it. I leapt up off the floor, still not quite believing I wasn’t dead.

Then as I crouched there gasping on the far side of the chamber and watched the wolves attack the door, a loud noise exploded inside the chamber.

Poof!

I watched in shock as two gigantic green webbed feet materialized out of thin air right in front of me. And these two webbed feet had deadly-looking toe claws protruding out of them. My nostrils instantly flared. Because my snout detected a new foreign scent there in my lair.
 
 
 
 

Editorial Reviews

A TODAY Show Summer Pick
An Amazon Summer Beach Reads Pick
A Barnes & Noble Best New Fiction of the Month Pick
BuzzFeed ‘22 Exciting Books You Need to Read This Summer’
A Google Play Summer Reading Pick
A Tor.com Genre-Bending Books of the Month Pick
A B&N Sci-Fi & Fantasy Blog Book Launch Pick
An Unbound Worlds ‘Summer’s Best Sci-Fi & Fantasy’
A Vol. 1 Brooklyn Books of the Month Pick
The Verge ‘Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror Books to Read This Month’

“Hilarious. . . . Gork is less Game of Thrones and more The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy with fire-breathing characters and a John Hughes-esque plot.”
—Rolling Stone

“Guaranteed to entertain. . . . Hudson creates an omnivorous parodic vibe worthy of Futurama.”
—Paul Di Filippo, The Barnes & Noble Review

“The fun is in the gonzo, sci-fi fantasy details. Sweet-natured Gork faces deadly threats and learns lessons about love. . . . Hudson seems to be taking cues from Terry Pratchett’s Discworld novels and Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, with perhaps a smattering of Kurt Vonnegut, Joseph Campbell and Mark Twain.”
—San Francisco Chronicle

“A wondrously insane mashup of teen rom-com, coming-of-age fable, and dragons. . . . Not to be missed!”
—Barnes & Noble, Best New Fiction of the Month
 
“Gork possesses the madcap invention and strange genius of Alice in Wonderland.“
—The Paris Review Daily

“Charming and wildly imaginative. . . . Gork, who immediately establishes himself as one of the most lovable characters of the year, is an orphaned 16-year-old dragon with a tremendous heart, a sensitive soul, and a deep appreciation for poetry. The most fun read of the summer.”
—Isaac Fitzgerald, BuzzFeed

“A dragon version of Ferris Buehler’s Day Off. . . . It’s a grown-up fable, a charming, though bloody, fairytale for adults, with enough explosions to satisfy the adolescent in us while making readers cheer for Gork.”
—New York Journal of Books

“Big-hearted and gawky, Gork gives us a lovable loser sure to win the hearts of sci-fi readers and fans of offbeat comedies.” 
—Shelf Awareness

“A winning coming-of-age story. . . Harry Potter meets Sixteen Candles meets The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, a hilarious and heartfelt fantasy novel with one unforgettable hero: Gork.” 
—Google Play Summer Reading

“It's hard not to love a story about a dragon with a spaceship that cribs its plot from a John Hughes movie. The hyperkinetic teen-dragon comedy-romance you never knew you wanted.”
—Kirkus Reviews
 
“Cleverly plotted and executed. . . . Gork’s amusing growing-up story unfolds in vignettes of encounters with various kooky fellow dragons. Throughout, Hudson makes generally witty and occasionally brilliant reflections on humans’ often reptilian behavior.”
—Publishers Weekly

“Smart, subversive, funny and fun, Gabe Hudson has created something special—something soaring. It’s Catcher in the Rye spiced with Anne McCaffrey, Eragon by way of John Irving, with a whiff of Douglas Adams for good measure.​”
—The ​Maine Edge​

“A humorous fantasy. . . reads like a Generation Z teen was set loose on the works of Terry Pratchett. You’ll be surprised how well the human teenage experience maps to the struggle of an adolescent dragon clawing his way up the social ladder.”
—Barnes & Noble, Sci-Fi & Fantasy Blog
 
“Take a bit of The Hitchhiker’s Guide, a little Harry Potter, and sprinkle in some John Hughes…Gork is a fantastical, outrageous, coming-of-age love story featuring a dragon named Gork on a quest to find his lady love, maybe conquer a planet, and encounter plenty of hijinx along the way.”
—Unbound Worlds, Summer’s Best Sci-Fi & Fantasy Pick

“This story is amazingly clever and just downright funny. You will laugh out loud (rare in a book for me) and you’ll be surprised by all the turns this novel takes. A nice break from all the seriousness of the world, and a palate cleanser from all the heavy fiction out there. It’s a trip you’ll be happy you took, and wouldn’t object to taking again in the future.”
— Melissa Lojo, Master Bookseller, Book People Book Store 

“Hilarious, satisfyingly fun. . . [as] if John Hughes wrote a Game of Thrones dragon comedy. The story's whimsy and humor keep the plot moving.”
—The Chicago Review of Books

“Gork, the Teenage Dragon combines so many things I count on in fiction I love—great expansive humor, a big-hearted optimism about all that’s possible in the world and in fiction, a very clear moral purpose and a sense of social responsibility—plus a willingness to experiment with the form of writing, to push the art of writing further, and with passion.”
—Dave Eggers, author of Heroes of the Frontier and The Circle
 
“Gork, the Teenage Dragon is a hilarious ride through the mind-bending and capacious universe, a one-of-a-kind coming-of-age story for the big-hearted and beleaguered. Mostly, it’s a reminder that, now especially, we on planet Earth need a whole lot more dreamer-poets, a whole lot more gentle peace-loving fools.”  
—Tracy K. Smith, Pulitzer Prize-winning author of Life on Mars and Ordinary Light

“Gork, the Teenage Dragon is jam-packed with outrageous storytelling and soulful humor in the glorious American tradition of Kurt Vonnegut and Mark Twain. Who knew a dragon’s coming-of-age story could be filled with so much humanity?” 
—Gary Shteyngart, author of Super Sad True Love Story
 
“My one & only crush.” 
—Melissa L.-O.​, Harvard Book Store​

 “Gork’s got it going on. His secret weapon? Poetry! This wonderful, big-hearted, crazy novel is a testament to Gabe Hudson’s ingenious imagination.”
—Elizabeth McKenzie, author of The Portable Veblen

“Like nothing you’ve ever read before—a quirky, wildly fun ride.” 
—Jarry Lee, BuzzFeed
 
“Genre-bending, age-defying appeal. . . . Gork has one thing going for him: a big, generous heart. Seriously, literary sentimentalists, can you resist?”
—Library Journal
 
"Like a mad scramble to find the right date for prom—but with dragons. Gork might have a ‘scaly green ass,’ but teens will laugh and relate to his desperate search for a date. Recommend this one to fans of offbeat science fiction and fantasy, such as the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy series.”
—Booklist

"Gork is the funny, wonderfully-written coming of age story about a dragon from another planet that is equal parts smart, silly, and sincere!"
—Nikki, Newtonville Books Bookstore

 
“Gork, the Teenage Dragon induced in me such madcap, heartfelt delight and joy, like getting drunk but WITHOUT impaired faculties and PLUS dragons.” 
—Alice Sola Kim, 2016 Whiting Award Winner
 
“Gabe Hudson’s fire-breathing, page-scorching creation, Gork the dragon, is more human and big-hearted and generous than most people I know. This book is as sly and smart as it is hilarious.”
—Ben Marcus, author of The Flame Alphabet
 
“Gork, the Teenage Dragon is on fire! It's magnificent and exuberant and ferociously funny, and it's also one of the most moving coming-of-age stories to appear in a long time.”
—Paul La Farge, author of The Night Ocean
 
“An epic love story that is wondrous, enchanting, hilarious, and heartrending. This dragon Gork is a direct descendant of Huck Finn and Holden Caulfield, and his voice is a marvel of comic timing and pathos. Gork, the Teenage Dragon is sure to become an instant classic, destined to be loved by all sorts of readers through the ages.” 
—Akhil Sharma, author of Family Life
 
“An instant dragon tale classic…The lovable central character in Gabe Hudson’s Gork, the Teenage Dragon is the hormonal underdog dragon you never knew you wanted to read about and then can’t seem to think about without smiling. Resembling the very best John Hughes films, Gork has a memorable group of unique characters …kids and adults will find much to adore in this book.”
—Brief Take

From the Publisher

2017-04-18
A teenage boy dragon battles bullies, a mad scientist, and his own self-doubt in his quest to win over a girl dragon.It's hard not to love a story about a dragon with a spaceship that cribs its plot from a John Hughes movie. Hudson (Dear Mr. President, 2002) follows up his devastating short story debut with a wacky teen comedy with shades of Terry Pratchett and Tom Holt. Our narrator is Gork, a clumsy but very determined student at WarWings Military Academy on the planet Blegwethia. Our boy isn't doing so hot with his diminished horns, a power rating of "Snacklicious," and the nickname "Weak Sauce." As happens in teen comedies, it's "Crown Day," in which dragons must ask a girl to be their queen or be forever banished as a slave. Gork's intended paramour is the fierce Runcita Floop. "Me and my Queen Runcita will be laying plans for invading a planet together," Gork says. "Soon I'll be out in space on my Fertility Mission, and me and Runcita will be ‘bumping scales,' so she can lay my eggs." Unfortunately, Dean Floop has no intention of letting Gork anywhere near his daughter. Technically, Gork has some help from his grandfather Dr. Terrible, which includes a brain implant that makes him more ferocious when he recites poems, but grandpa is also malicious and kind of insane. Gork has other allies, though, in his tomboy friend Fribby (a cyborg dragon who takes no guff from Gork) and his spaceship Athenos II, a sentient being that carries secrets from Gork's childhood. If it all sounds a bit crazy, it is, in a weird and kind of wonderful way that combines immature humor with a heartfelt coming-of-age story. The hyperkinetic teen-dragon comedy-romance you never knew you wanted.

Kirkus Reviews