Read an Excerpt
Grief with Ease
An Incipient View of the Quintessence Unplugged Speculation as Coadjutor Future
By Mercy Montes Balboa Press
Copyright © 2016 Mercy Montes
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-5043-6990-9
CHAPTER 1
Our Embodiment with Empowerment
Let's talk about the celebration of death but death is not the correct word to use because we don't die, we transcend into a different dimension of where life is truly a celebration. It is so wonderful you can't even imagine, the beauty and the love and the knowledge that we acquire on this side.
My personal death scene was a beautiful experience. Not only was this an amazing experience for my family and friends, but it was also an amazing experience for me. To see and feel the love and enjoyment and to celebrate my life gave me strength and hope that things would be all right and get even better. It was like being lifted up on the wings of angels. It did truly empower me and I truly believe that it empowered them. Oftentimes a death scene/transition is one that repeats in your Earth line, over and over again. When your time of passing over arrives you know there will be sadness; you understood this, but what you also need to acknowledge is the elation and the happiness we immediately feel in going home. We here in our afterlife ask you to celebrate us. Your gift of love brings us such Joy, love is what assists us into a gentler transition, love helps us to feel safe and secure while we are in the midst of our transition. This is our true birthday so we ask you to celebrate us in that moment, the day of our birth day; this is what it truly means to 'be born again'! Of course we miss you and we miss some of the Earthly pleasures but this is truly home. We are not away from you; remember one day you will join us on this side, so take note of how my family celebrated my passing. I was extremely worried how my mother would react when the moment of my passing arrived ...
'He's gone', the nurse gently announced. What! What did she just say? My Mother is sitting next to my hospital bed holding my hand. I suddenly have the realization I can now hear my mother's thoughts, could we possibly be communication through telepathy? My Mom is suddenly numb as she thinks to herself; the nurse must be mistaken. The nurse then repeats, 'Your son has passed'. No, He Did Not. Don't leave me Anthony, Please don't leave me! Don't leave me, don't leave me, Please! This can't be happening. It's too soon. No, No, No, I can't breathe. The worst possible tragedy in my life just occurred and all I could think was, 'How can I continue living without my son, Anthony?' Mom goes into a complete state of denial.
In that moment, it was just Mom and me. 'Why take my son God? What have I done to deserve you taking my son before his time? Our children are not supposed to die before their parents.' Mom jumps onto my hospital bed; throws her arms around me and begins to beg me not to leave her, as her crying turns into howls. Suddenly, there is a mountain of arms embracing her. Mom continues to beg me not to leave her, and continues to sob uncontrollably ... please don't leave me Son! She begins to feel a deep panic engulfing her. Mom is now lying next to me, hugging me, holding me close. Mom is thinking to herself, this will be the last time I will hold my son in my arms; my baby, my first born. Oh God, help me! Time passes. It seems like hours but only minutes have passed.
My mother is in shock. She thinks she hears someone singing, she is becoming angry. How dare they sing; her initial thought is to protect her son, she is thinking; my son is in the midst of his transition and someone is actually singing, that is insulting and so disrespectful. Mom feels so weak but she lifts her head so she can yell at the person who is singing and behaving so disrespectfully. 'You are my sunshine; my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray, you'll never know dear, how much I love you; please don't take your sunshine away.' That voice sounds familiar. The voice is a bit hoarse: it's me! 'The other night dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms, when I awoke dear, I was mistaken and I held my head and cried.'
Due to my failing health; my parents were fully aware that I would transition eventually; Mom had been my care provider for the last 4 years, but still Mom was not prepared. Each time she would have to call the paramedics to our home because I would be in medical distress, each and every time, Mom would mentally brace herself with the fact that this time her son may not come home. But every time I would survive any medical emergency, Mom's heart would sing. My Mother is now thinking; I have no other choice but to face the fact this time around, my sweet son would not be coming home this time, I must be strong, Anthony is depending on me to be strong'. Mom is mentally trying hard to allow what is happening at this moment, to register within her soul. 'Surreal' from time to time I would hear this word used but I really never understood what it meant, but at this very moment, this word completely resonates within my soul. As I continue to hear Mom's thoughts; my son is in the midst of transitioning. It's now time to celebrate his return to Home. I must be strong. Anthony is depending on me to be strong. As Mom continues to quietly sob, she lifts her as she remembers she is not alone. Dad is holding Mom's hand; my brother Paul is embracing her. The three of them are crying and clinging to one another. Mom feels a surge of pure deep love within her heart, she understands I am communicating to her, 'It's all right Mom.' She knows she heard this but she still wonders where my voice is coming from. I realize many family members are present. When did they arrive? What a Beautiful sight. All these people so loved me, it makes my heart sing with Joy! I feel a Shift. I'm being lifted and I feel wrapped in love, all the love. All these wonderful people who love me have dropped everything and have all rushed to the hospital, arrive at my bedside to say goodbye. Earlier this morning my doctor shared with my parents that I only had a few hours left to live. They immediately ask if they can take me home with hospice, the Doctor says that due to my medical condition, I wouldn't survive the trip regardless of how close they live to the hospital. At this point my parents both walk out to the hallway together. Mom then pulls my cell phone out from her purse and shares with dad that they should begin to call all the contacts listed on my cell. You see, I am sort of a legend in the family, I'm the guy they would call in the middle of the night to rescue, provide guidance, rush out to buy diapers or babysit on the fly, help with their relocation moves, shampoo their carpets, and even reprimanded my niece's boyfriends. This was one of the main reasons I found it difficult to maintain a personal relationship with any one person. In this family I was the man to call in an emergency and I was proud of this status! For all these reasons, my parents felt it was time to allow all these people who loved their son; the opportunity to say goodbye, so long; thank you for being you. I was very close to my extended family; so my parents understood how important it would be for me to have them near me in my final moments, to offer them the opportunity to share their heartfelt goodbyes. They both begin to call and text family and friends listed on my cell phone. Periodically Mom would return to my bedside, take my hand and speak to me gently. Mom felt the need to say to me; it's was okay for me to leave her. She didn't want me to feel the need to hang on solely for her sake. Mom also understood I didn't want to leave; but as my mother, she also realized her responsibility was first and foremost to me. Mom takes my hand once again, leans over me and whispers into my ear, 'its okay son, go into the light, our family will be there to welcome your home'. Mom continues to share with me just how much happiness I brought into her life, especially these last few years, thanking me for opening my heart and becoming much closer to her. She begins to cry as she thinks to herself, 'I cannot believe I actually provided permission for my son to leave me'. I know at this moment that God is with her providing her with this amazing strength. The hours melt away as more of my family and friends continue to arrive. They are already grieving and in distress. I can hear sobbing in the halls and in my hospital room. Mom is getting a bit worried as the sound of sobbing gets louder. You see, I had such a fear of death, she just wants to protect me, she thinks that if I hear all the loud sobbing, I will begin to stress and possibly panic. She slowly walks over to each one and asks them to please try to control their emotions because her son is not aware that he is transitioning. Mom feels empathic for what they must be going through because she can feel their pain. Of course her pain is the deepest, as my mother and best friend. She has the understanding that her son is leaving her in the physical. Mom just wants my transition to be as gentle and loving as possible. I can feel everyone's presence. Mom slowly moves them towards my hospital bed, she ask them to hold my hand as they talk to me, share their love for me, kiss me to share their stories, etc. The scene is tremendously serene and amazingly beautiful. The family pastor arrives. Mom slowly walks over to 'our Pastor', and asks if he could pleas lead us all in singing 'Amazing Grace' to provide a loving send off to the afterlife for me. Mom is the only human present who understands I am in the midst of transitioning. I take a moment and look around the room ... everyone is composed into a circle, singing and holding hands. This in itself is a miracle. As my parents slowly made their way out of the Intensive Care Unit of the hospital, they were approached by several Doctors and Nurses, and the hospital chaplain. They all shared with both my parents, in all the years they worked at that hospital, they had never had the opportunity to experience such a stunningly- beautiful death scene; they especially enjoyed the heartfelt singing.
Personally, I felt exceptionally honored as my final transition scene unfolded as I made my exit into the flux. It was a beautiful and memorable experience, one I would hope that each and every one of you can share with all of your loved ones when the time comes.
CHAPTER 2
I Believe What I feel — My Transition
It is no secret that people all over the world are waking up spiritually, but some of these people don't trust what they are awakening to. It's not about trusting self; it's about trusting relationships to continue. People need to trust when they wake and begin to hear. The concept may be difficult to achieve, as you need to develop the trust so that you will have the ability to can maintain a relationship with a loved one after you lose them in the physical. Believing and trust are two of the same, they go hand in hand, but breaking down those barriers for some people can be difficult. Many people believe when a loved one transitions to their afterlife, they are not supposed to talk to them anymore. Do you think a loving God wants that communication to stop between you and your loved ones? God doesn't want you to stop communicating with your loved ones who have transitioned because they're not physical anymore. I've met God and want people to know that God isn't going to punish you for wanting to connect with your loved ones. God wants you to continue your relationships. Many don't connect because they're afraid of being punished; they live in fear, based on early theology conditioning. You may hit a barrier when attempting to persuade an extremely religious person to believe it's okay to continue to communicate with their loved ones in the afterlife, but remember there is no punishment because your desire is out of love. Have you ever questioned this theory and asked yourself how it could be wrong? You are connecting back to yourself and a loved one through your heart; out of deep love for them. Remind yourself, if that person were back in your present lie, would you talk to them then? Of course you would. What makes it any different now? We shouldn't be cut off because we're now in different form, you can still continue to communicate. Is it possible your reasoning is due to a wall you have placed there of not only grief, but guilt. Maybe you said or did something to hurt or upset this person prior to their transition. Grief will definitely pose a barrier to communication. Grief is like sticking a sock in your mouth. You obviously can't talk with a sock in your mouth! Grief, guilt, and/or anger are negative emotions that can create a block. If you identify with some or all of these emotions, practice becoming more compassionate and forgiving to yourself. This is a good place to start in order to cut down these barriers. Your loved ones who have passed are always there; however, it's difficult for them to get through the barriers one erects due to negative, unresolved emotions.
Think about if death wasn't physically passing away but only losing the ability to speak your native tongue. In order to communicate with your loved one, you had to speak in a foreign language. What would you do? Would you learn how to speak in that language? Your simple answer would be a 'Yes', right? Honor your feelings of grief and physical loss while understanding the ability to connect with your loved one who has transitioned home is still possible. Prior to my transition, my Mom and I discussed this topic, although it was a bit uncomfortable for me at the time. Mom said if there were a way we could reconnect after I passed, she would be open to making it happen. Based on our conversation, I believed this would occur. My mother's heart was open to this, is yours? Having an open heart and believing is vitally important if you want to continue your communication and relationships with those who have passed. It is possible we are the proof as we wrote this book 'Together'. When people set their intentions to continue a relationship before the physical part doesn't exist anymore, it will be that much easier to connect. It's okay to plan and talk about this. For example, you could ask, 'If I were to transition before you, how would we continue our communication? What avenues or divine tools should we agree to practice?' You are conditioned to be backwards about afterlife communication. People don't want to talk about this; they think and feel it's morbid. It's not. It is actually quite divine.
On a personal level, my mother wanted to talk about the afterlife in order to educate and prepare me for what to expect next. She believed in the afterlife but it was difficult for me to join in this discussion due to my extreme fear of death. Most of the time, she respected my feelings and let it go. Although I was in a position where I would be transitioning soon, I did not want to discuss life after death. However, from time to time, she would find a moment to sneak this into the conversation. She'd share bits and pieces of what she believed to be true about the afterlife; so I sort of knew what to expect when I transitioned, but I did not 100% have the belief. This brings me to a very important question, if you're afraid of death and don't want to talk about it, how can your family get through that barrier? If somebody shuts down and does not want to talk about dying, it's typically out of fear. They are attached to being physical and afraid of losing that physicality. It forces them to come to grips with the fact they're about to transition. Here is a sample conversation which may allow you the opportunity to open this discussion with someone who is afraid of death: I understand you're going to go to a different place and it may take a while to adjust to this new idea. You will still exist, only in a different form. You will be aware you're still here. These words should be comforting. When you're trying to break the barrier with someone who is uncomfortable with the thought of dying, remember to explain they will still have awareness with their family and friends. They will not be alone and unaware of their surroundings.
This brings everything back again to God. People need to find comfort in God and release their fears. You can help someone who is about to transition or their loved ones by talking about the ongoing communication one can have both in the afterlife and here on Earth. Obviously, you can't force anyone to talk about something they don't believe in, but you can calmly voice your view, as my Mom did for me. They don't need to join in the conversation or speak a word to you. At the very least, your words will hit their Aura and possibly resonate within and echo after you've left. I was scared and angry as I approached my transition. These are the common emotions most people deal with when approaching death. Many experience anger as it is a secondary emotion to fear. Oftentimes, people are not aware of the emotions they're experiencing and need time to process these new feelings. You can ask them if they are angry and if they respond with a yes, you can try and probe further by questioning why they feel angry. Remember to be gentle when asking these questions because they can lead to other buried emotions. In addition to fear and anger, I also felt ashamed and embarrassed because everything that was happening with my body and life felt out of my control. Lots of people feel embarrassed when losing control of self; hence, this is a significant transitioning stage before their passing. Humiliation is common as part of being human is dealing with the ego which desires total control. The result can be shutting down and closing out loved ones. Even when somebody is on their death bed, in the midst of transitioning, they might set barriers so it doesn't hurt as bad among their family and friends. That being said, feeling connected to people and having loved ones around does provide comfort for the person making the transition. The individual facing death might not show appreciation or want to talk, and that is perfectly fine as long as they feel connected to you in one way or another.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Grief with Ease by Mercy Montes. Copyright © 2016 Mercy Montes. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
