Table of Contents
Preface: A Good Day in The Black Crowes Was Just a Day That Wasn't Bad ix
1 The Jump 1
2 Do Not Join This Band, They're Fucking Crazy 11
3 "He is Rotting from the inside Out" 19
4 "No, No, No … Try Open G, Like Keith" 27
5 The KKK 39
6 Michael Corleone Will See You Now 47
7 Are We Gonna Win or Are We Gonna Lose? 51
8 Uncle Bob 61
9 When the Student is Ready, the Teacher Will Appear 65
10 Welcome Home. You're Fired 69
11 The Exhaustion of Success 74
12 The End of Shake Your Money Maker 81
13 Round Two 89
14 Losing the Grip 97
15 Splat 103
16 High as the Moon 112
17 Tall 121
18 Björk, Hans Gruber, and an Earthquake of Note 132
19 Best Not Buy 138
20 Money 144
21 Just Lease. Go Home and Be Done. 153
22 Peking Duck is Now on the Menu 163
23 "Know 'Em? Hell, I Wrote 'Em, Baby!" 171
24 Three Snakes and One Honorable Man 176
25 Things to Do in Denver When Your Band is Dead 183
26 To Hell and Band 193
27 "Put on Some Fucking Clothes, Will Ya?" 203
28 The Three-Headed Monster 209
29 Reality Bites 216
30 By Your Side 226
31 The Black Crowes Are Back! (Even if We Never Left) 232
32 "Just When I Think I'm Out … Mr. Jimmy Fucking Page" 237
33 Asleep at the Greek 259
34 Sven Pipien, Over and Out 261
35 Trouble Brewing in Valhalla 272
36 "Which One of Those Two Stupid Motherfuckers Did This?" 280
37 At Long Last … Out 293
38 The Poison Pill 308
39 Me, Hunter S. Thompson, and Bruce Spingsteen Walk into a Bar … 317
40 The Long Goodbye 327
Epilogue: The Headstone 340
Acknowledgments 345