Read an Excerpt
GROUCHY
Heidi Heckelbeck woke up in the Kingdom of Gloom.
Grouchy Land.
Grumpsville, USA.
Heidi felt like the princess of Crankypants. Because not only was it the first day of school—it was her first day of school EVER.
Heidi had never been to school before. She had always had school at home with her five-year-old brother, Henry. Mom had been their teacher. But starting today Heidi Heckelbeck would be a brand-new second grader at Brewster Elementary.
Mom popped her head into Heidi’s room. “Time to get up!” she sang.
“Merg!” growled Heidi.
She flumped her pillow on top of her face. A million questions swirled in her head. What if the teacher was mean? What if she couldn’t find her way to the bathroom? What if she sat next to a boy who picked his nose?
Heidi dragged herself out of bed and got dressed. She put on her black jean skirt with her kitty cat top. Then she wiggled into her black-and-white- striped tights and black sneakers. Not even her favorite outfit made her feel cheery. She plodded downstairs.
Mom placed a happy-face pancake in front of Heidi. It had blueberry eyes, a mouth of raspberries, and sausage eyebrows.
Heidi stuck out her tongue at her pancake.
“It’s still smiling,” said Henry.
Heidi used her fork to move the food around.
“Not anymore,” said Heidi.
“Mom!” yelled Henry. “Heidi made a mad-face pancake!”
Heidi rolled her eyes.
“You know what?” said Henry as he dipped a sausage in syrup. “You should wear pink. Pink looks friendly.”
“Pretty in pink!” added Mom with a wink.
“Wait, what’s wrong with the way I look?” said Heidi.
“Uh . . . nothing, really,” said Henry. “It’s just that your outfit kind of looks like a Halloween costume. What if you spook the other kids on your first day of school?”
“Har-dee-har-har,” said Heidi. But Henry’s comment kind of bugged her.
Heidi’s dad walked into the kitchen as he fixed his tie.
“Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!” he sang. He stopped when he saw Heidi’s unhappy face. She was not in a Disneyland mood.
“What’s the matter, pumpkin?” asked Dad.
“Nothing,” said Heidi. “I just don’t want to go to school—EVER. That’s all.”
Henry dropped his fork.
“Never, ever?” asked Henry. “That means you won’t get to have a class pet! Or your own personal desk! Or fire drills.”
“Who cares?” said Heidi.
Dad sat down next to Heidi.
“All is well,” said Dad. “And all will be well at school too.”
“But I want to have school at home with Mom,” said Heidi.
“We had a lot of fun,” said Mom, “but now it’s time to learn from teachers and books at school.”
“I can teach myself,” said Heidi. “Besides, I like my book better.”
Mom raised her eyebrows.
“School needs you, Heidi,” said Dad. “You’re clever and kind.”
“And kind of cuckoo,” added Henry.
“Trust me,” said Dad. “I know you’re going to love school. And when you get home, you can be the first to test my brand-new fruit cola formula. I’m thinking of calling it Cherry Zing.”
Mr. Heckelbeck worked at a soda pop company called The FIZZ. Heidi loved to try his secret formulas. Sometimes Heidi came up with her own formulas and shared them with her dad. Tasting a new fruit cola did sound a tiny bit fun.
Mom jingled her car keys. “Time to go,” she said cheerfully.
Heidi groaned and slid off of her chair. She put on her black jean jacket and backpack. Then she said her good-byes: “Good-bye, tree fort classroom! Good-bye, backyard cafeteria!”
“You forgot something,” said Henry.
“What?” asked Heidi.
“HELLO, SCHOOL!”
And off they went.
