Hilarity Ensues

by Tucker Max

Overview

The New York Times bestselling author of I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell and Assholes Finish First delivers a new collection of thirty 100% true, 100% exclusive stories of comically perverse excess.

Another installment in Tucker Max's series of stories about his drunken debauchery and ridiculous antics. What began as a simple sentence on an obscure website, “My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole,” and developed into two infamously genre-defining books, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell and Assholes Finish First, ends here.

But as you should expect from Tucker by now, he is going out with a bang—literally and figuratively. In this book, you’ll learn:

* How to live and work in Cancun, while still enrolled in Law School

* Why Halloween is really awesome

* How to subtly torture a highstrung roommate until he explodes with furious anger over a misplaced condiment

* What really happened when a dirty pageant girl tried to sue Tucker because he told the truth

* Why you should never accept a homemade treat from a hippie with a van

As we've come to learn from Tucker, assholes do finish first...but everything comes with a price.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781619610033
Publisher:	Blue Heeler Books
Publication date:	11/06/2012
Edition description:	Original
Pages:	448
Sales rank:	982,809
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 8.90(h) x 1.10(d)

About the Author

Tucker Max received his BA with highest honors from the University of Chicago in 1998, and attended Duke Law School on an academic scholarship, where he graduated with a JD in 2001. His first book, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, is a #1 New York Times bestseller, has spent over 150 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list over five calendar years, and has sold over 1 million copies. He has also been credited with being the originator and leader of the literary genre, "fratire," and was nominated to Time magazine's 100 Most Influential List in 2009. He currently lives in Austin, Texas, and can be reached through his website, TuckerMax.com.

Table of Contents

Author's Note ix

The Cancun Stories 1

Why to learn CPR 3

Boot and rally 5

Give me two pair, I need two pair 6

Welcome to the Thunderdome 7

How Tucker Max became 'Tucker Max" 8

It's a love spot 12

The First Rule of Mexico 14

Finder's Fee 15

Bambi 16

Sweet Caroline 18

Eat your heart out Jason Bourne 19

The Final Straw 21

The Consequences 25

Postscript 26

Drugs are Bad, Mmmkay? 29

SlingBlade's Account 30

Tucker's Account 37

Sexting With Tucker Max: Absurd 41

Why Halloween is Awesome 60

2002, part 1 61

2002, part 2 67

2003 75

2006 80

Fat Girls Cross Tucker, Hilarity Ensues 92

The Fat and the Furious 92

True Friendship 96

The Deadliest Vacation 103

The Invitation 103

The Anchorage party and the $200 Bear Mace Special 108

The Time Bandit 119

Dutch Harbor 133

Sexting with tucker max! Mean 152

The Fight Stories 173

The TMZ Debacle 174

Tucker gets into fight, hilarity ensues 180

Meet My Friend Hate 191

The Backstory 191

The Pizza Incident 195

The Italian Restaurant 197

The Italy Trip 202

The Apartment 205

The Airbag 209

The Jimmy John's Incident 213

The Leftovers 218

Tucker Ruins a Wine Tasting 221

The Ex-Girlfriend Threesome Fallout 228

In the Trunk 235

The (Almost Banned, Now Complete) Miss Vermont Story 244

Introduction 244

The (now complete) Miss Vermont Story 246

The Lawsuit 289

Postscript: Some speculation 304

Tucker Max, Knee Abuser 327

Sexting With Tucker Max! A/S/Location, Location, Location 333

The Law School Weddings and Bachelor Parties 36O

El Bingeroso's Bachelor Party, Part 1, Charlotte, NC 360

GoldenBoy's Bachelor Party, Las Vegas, NV 363

El Bingeroso's Bachelor Party, Part 2, Kansas City, MO 371

El Bingeroso's Wedding, Lawrence, KS 386

GoldenBoy's Wedding, Outer Banks, NC 391

JonBenet's (sort of) Bachelor Party, Tampa, FL 391

PWJ's Bachelor Party, Montreal 405

PWJ'S Wedding, Lexington, KY 418

The Death of SlingBlade, Phoenix AZ 433

Hate's Bachelor Party, Tampa, FL 436

Hate's Wedding, Pittsburgh, PA 438

Tucker's Bachelor Party and Wedding 443

Epilogue: The Retirement 444

Acknowledgements 449

Editorial Reviews

Expensively educated child-of-privilege-turned-professional-asshole Max (Assholes Finish First, 2011, etc.) ends his "fratire" series with another memoir full of binge drinking, upchucking and general unhinged misanthropy. Here the author cuddles up next to blowhard Bill O'Reilly, crackpot psychologists, Hollywood gossips and psychotic Army snipers. There are also plenty of repetitious barhopping stories involving Max and the angry gynophobes he hangs with, all out for some good old-fashioned recreational hate sex (or often just hate, period) with clueless sorority-type chicks. The Tucker Max formula for success? He interacts with people who have the rare disability of being even more moronic than he is--and so-called hilarity ensues. Beyond the predictable mouthing off about his "awesome" life, in this latest book we also get sections featuring Max's boring "sexting" transcripts, a self-righteous diatribe against the mother of Miss Vermont (who sued him for libel), some routine white-trash strip-club experiences and a proud recollection of the time he beat up a frail European guy. There's also a fond remembrance of his homosocial maritime bromance with one of the macho crab fisherman of Deadliest Catch fame: Although he vomited from seasickness during much of his Alaskan fishing expedition, he seemed to be much more at ease with the rough boys on the Time Bandit than with the unfortunate females he hits on in yuppie bars. We also learn some further startling new information about the author--he likes Southern rap and hates the French! Although there's no telling how much honesty there is behind any of Max's chauvinist bluster, undoubtedly the most believable statement in the book comes in the penultimate chapter, where he reveals the fact that he has no girlfriend or wife. Shocking. The 18-year-old fraternity pledge's guide to life.

Kirkus Reviews