How to Get to Grips with Grief: 40 Ways to Manage the Unmanageable

by James Withey

Overview

This book is for anyone who has lost someone. It may have been recently, or it may have been years ago, but still it stings like it was yesterday.

James Withey has known the grief beast since he was five, when his dad died, and it has followed him ever since. In his twenty years supporting people with their own grief, as a counsellor and social care worker, he has helped others work through their despair and reconcile the injustice of grief.

With his trademark humour and warmth, he provides forty ways to help you live with and manage your grief no matter what stage you're at. It provides comfort for when it all gets too much, ideas for when you feel at a loss for what to do and more than a laugh or two to balance out the sadness.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781472147141
Publisher:	Little, Brown Book Group
Publication date:	07/14/2022
Series:	Karen Pirie , #49
Sold by:	Hachette Digital, Inc.
Format:	eBook
File size:	3 MB

About the Author

James Withey is the author of the bestselling book How to Tell Depression to Piss Off: 40 Ways to get Your Life back, and is the co-editor of The Recovery Letters: Addressed to People Experiencing Depression and What I Do to Get Through: How to Run, Swim, Cycle, Sew, or Sing Your Way Through Depression.


He is the founder of The Recovery Letters project which publishes online letters from people recovering from depression. James trained as a person-centred counsellor and worked in addiction, homelessness and mental health services. He lives with depression & anxiety and writes and speaks about mental health. He lives in Hove in the UK with his husband and emotionally damaged cat.

Table of Contents

Introduction 1

1 Closure schmosure 5

2 Cry, like a frigging river 8

3 Go on, talk to them 13

4 Collect stories 16

5 Do one non-death thing a week (this should include cake) 20

6 Dealing with the slap in the face 25

7 Make a 'sort of shrine' 28

8 Don't deny grief 31

9 Doing anniversaries 34

10 Play the Grief Card 37

11 Celebrate them 42

12 This is all normal 47

13 The grief wizards 50

14 Grip the safety bar 54

15 What if you hadn't met them? 57

16 Count the living things that love you (pets count) 61

17 Pace 66

18 Get angry with the buggers 69

19 Don't minimise your pain 72

20 Your own Day of the Dead 76

21 Record your mini gains 80

22 Carrying the big rock 83

23 Cedric is an idiot 86

24 What would they want you to do? 90

25 Leech out your life 94

26 Use dark humour (but only you can use it) 97

27 Scream and move 102

28 Tell your grief story 108

29 Finding a place 112

30 Mind the gap 115

31 Think of all the other people going through this 120

32 Where are they? Are they watching me? All the spiritual stuff 122

33 Remember when your new shoes hurt 126

34 Bloody acceptance 130

35 Creativity 134

36 But I should have… 137

37 That's a relief 140

38 Because you're worth it (not just your hair) 143

39 Listen to Emma 149

40 Holding onto hope, holding onto you 153

Acknowledgements 157

Editorial Reviews

I loved this book so much. It was just so accessible, refreshing and practical. James has an irreverent ability to capture the often absurd realities of grief. I would happily gift this book to my closest friend if they were struggling with grief. James' writing is just so full of humour, compassion and depth. So engaging and real. He really wants to share the stuff that has helped him over the years. I found this book to be a generous gift for those folks looking to get to grips with and grow around their grief. A practical, productive and positive resource that will have you smiling through the tears and wishing you could meet James for a cup of coffee as you know you would both like and respect him—Julie Stokes, OBE, author and founder of Winston's Wish

Beautiful, relatable, funny and true. This is a book that won't try to 'fix' you but attempts to fix the societal expectations we have around grief. James validates how it feels to exist in the world in the aftermath of loss and offers practical advice while avoiding all the usual platitudes and clichés. A book to be picked up and revisited time and time again. A true comfort for anyone experiencing grief—Natasha Sholl, author of Founding, Wanting

I cried as I read it. But as James says, crying is a good thing. As is moving, shouting, screaming and holding on to hope - and laughing too in those moments of dark humour. The sentence I will treasure is: "Each life makes a splash, the ripples spread outwards."

This is the best book about the everyday experience of coming to terms with grief that I've read.
I understand what grieving means, and so does James. Abso-bloody-lutely

—Linda Gask, writer and psychiatrist

In James' upbeat voice, he gives us forty great ways to manage grief—Julia Samuel, psychotherapist and bestselling author of Grief Works

James Withey has written the most comprehensive, thoughtful guide for anyone seeking to understand the complexities of grief. As an expertin thefield of mental health, his insights and suggestions are brilliant, supportiveand helpful. I also loved his personal stories and senseof humour, making this book relatableand appropriately funny. Yup, laugh-out-loud funny. Griever, to cry is expected;to laugh is divine. I wish I had this book years ago when I lost my son. I havebeen reading and writing aboutgrief for over twenty years, and his guideon grief is by far thebest I havehad theprivilegeto read—Jane Edberg, artist and author of The Fine Art of Grieving: An Illustrated Memoir

From the Publisher