How to Like Yourself: A Teen's Guide to Quieting Your Inner Critic and Building Lasting Self-Esteem

by Cheryl M. Bradshaw MA

Overview

Don’t let your inner critic get in the way of being confident! How to Like Yourself offers a quirky, inspiring, and practical guide to help you overcome feelings of self-criticism, improve self-esteem, and be the true star in your life.

With all the pressures of school, friends, and dating, you’re especially vulnerable to low self-esteem in your teen years. But often, the biggest threat to your confidence is your own inner critic—whose unrelenting negativity can result in feelings of inadequacy, depression, and anxiety. This must-have guide offers real ways to help you fight back, be kind to yourself, and move forward with confidence.

Inside, you’ll learn the importance of self-forgiveness, accepting your faults, and how to focus on the things that make you awesome! You’ll also learn strategies for defeating the dreaded ICK—the inner critic know-it-all who keeps knocking you down—and how to escape the common thought traps that hold you back from feeling good about yourself.

This book unlocks the mystery of the most important relationship you will ever have—the one with yourself! So, get ready to find your true inner voice. A kinder, gentler one that will support you as you reach for your goals and create the fabulous life you were meant to live!

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781626253483
Publisher:	New Harbinger Publications
Publication date:	04/01/2016
Series:	Instant Help Solutions Series
Pages:	216
Sales rank:	1,007,662
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 7.80(h) x 0.50(d)
Age Range:	13 - 17 Years

About the Author

Cheryl M. Bradshaw is a counselor/therapist at the University of Guelph, and a registered psychotherapist working in private practice. She has previously worked at Sheridan College as a counselor, and has a background in teaching. She has worked with, and continues to support, www.jack.org, an organization dedicated to youth mental health awareness, empowerment, and leadership in high schools and post-secondary institutions across Canada. Bradshaw resides in Hamilton, ON, Canada, with her husband, Andrew, and their dog, Darwin.

Table of Contents

Welcome! 1

Part 1 The past

1 The Most Important Relationship You Will Ever Have 10

2 The Mystery of Forgiveness 21

3 Personal Yield Theory: You're You for Good Reasons 30

4 Forgiveness: Once You Know Better, You Can Do Better 33

5 Accepting Yourself 38

Part 2 The present

6 From Past to Present 44

7 Confident Versus Conceited: The Lies We Believe 50

8 Confidence Forever 61

9 Your Inner Critic Know-It-All (ICK!) 66

10 The Epic Battle of the ICK 71

11 Thought Traps 75

12 The Tiny Grain of Truth 84

13 Your True Inner Voice 89

14 The Epic Battle of the ICK: Starring You 97

15 Labels Are for Soup Cans 106

16 Daily Facets of You: You're a Prism 115

17 The 80-20 Rule 126

Part 3 The future

18 Who Do You Want to Be? 130

19 Steps to Your True Self 140

20 Vulnerability 101 160

21 Romantic Relationships 170

22 How to Be Okay with Rejection 177

23 How to Be Yourself in a Relationship 193

Wrapping Up 197

References 199

Interviews

Bradshaw resides in Flamborough/Hamilton, ON, Canada.

Editorial Reviews

02/01/2016
In this addition to the Instant Help Solutions series, Bradshaw, a professional counselor, acknowledges that self-esteem doesn’t necessarily come naturally and often needs to be cultivated. Writing in an intimate and friendly tone, she discusses how negative self-images arise and how to break the thought patterns that lead to low self-esteem, without painting a too-rosy view of the world. When discussing the “Inner Critic Know-It-All” (ICK), Bradshaw acknowledges that part of the reason why the ICK is so powerful is that it uses “thought traps” like overgeneralization, “all-or-nothing thinking,” and catastrophizing to trick us into jumping to skewed conclusions. Exercises designed to help readers identify, disrupt, and restructure the ways they view themselves and others offer concrete tactics for those looking to make change in their lives. Ages 13–up. (Apr.)

Publishers Weekly

In this addition to the Instant Help Solutions series, Bradshaw, a professional counselor, acknowledges that self-esteem doesn’t necessarily come naturally and often needs to be cultivated. Writing in an intimate and friendly tone, she discusses how negative self-images arise and how to break the thought patterns that lead to low self-esteem, without painting a too-rosy view of the world. … Exercises designed to help readers identify, disrupt, and restructure the ways they view themselves and others offer concrete tactics for those looking to make change in their lives.”
—Publishers Weekly



“Teens and young adults who are looking for practical, constructive tips to help them navigate life will enjoy Cheryl Bradshaw’s How to Like Yourself. It’s fun, easy to read, and upbeat—almost like having an extended conversation with your own mental health coach. The author’s unique combination of professional training and experiences working with emerging adults, together with her energy and love of life, shine through on every page.”
—Eric Windeler, father, full-time advocate for youth mental health, and founder and executive director of www.jack.org


“Cheryl Bradshaw has written an engaging, powerful, and easy-to-read book in How to Like Yourself. To help teens combat their inner critic, she provides a step-by-step plan using proven-effective cognitive strategies. Her honest and genuine approach normalizes struggles with confidence and self-esteem, and makes it easy to work through the material. It’s as though she is in the room with you!”
—Sheri Turrell, PhD, registered psychologist in Toronto, ON, Canada, with over twenty years of experience in mental health, and coauthor of ACT for Adolescents


“Cheryl Bradshaw’s words are exactly what my younger self needed to hear. As a teenager, I was really struggling. What was going on in my mind was the total opposite of liking myself. It wasn’t until after high school that I even realized the power of my inner voice to change my own mind. It’s awesome to think of other young people like me picking up this book and stumbling across this treasured secret: that what you tell yourself inside your head—no matter what’s going on around you—makes all the difference in the world for your happiness and well-being.”
—Erin Hodgson, youth mental health advocate, motivational speaker, mental illness survivor, and champion of hope and recovery


“An important reminder from an honest and compassionate voice! Sometimes, when I’m not feeling great, I just feel like curling up on a comfy couch, under a blanket, with sunbeams coming through the windows. If you feel the same way sometimes, this book can help. Great job, Cheryl!”
—Neil Pasricha, New York Times best-selling author of The Happiness Equation and The Book of Awesome


“Cheryl Bradshaw has given a voice to many thoughts, concerns, and insecurities most of us feel on a regular basis. In common language and with understanding, she helps her reader to consider different perspectives and strategies to counter negativity and patterns. She skillfully infuses humor to not only laugh at herself, but also to help us appreciate a lighter side of ourselves. This book is a must for preteens and millennium-aged adults who are considering self-reflection, improvement, or seeking insight into others.”
—Carol Nagy, MSW, executive director of Niagara Hospice in Lockport, NY, and, most importantly, mom to two millennium-aged adults


“This is a lively, quick read with crucial information every teen needs. Self-love is an incredible anchor through the teen years and beyond. Cheryl Bradshaw addresses the topic thoroughly with tips and ideas to help teen readers get connected in a loving way to themselves!”
—Lucie Hemmen, PhD, clinical psychologist and author of The Teen Girl’s Survival Guide


“How to Like Yourself is the book I wish I could have read in high school or after a bad breakup, but it’s just as valuable now as a young adult trying to figure life out. Just liking who you are is an underrated yet powerful skill. Cheryl Bradshaw’s writing is real. It’s relatable. And it’s practical stuff—without a lot of the cheese.”
—Kayley Reed, fashion designer, social entrepreneur, and cofounder and CEO of Wear Your Label, a clothing line designed to raise awareness about mental health

From the Publisher

04/01/2016
Gr 7 Up—Between outside pressures and an internal critic, it can be difficult to appreciate oneself. Bradshaw's relaxed and friendly approach will put readers at ease about a complex and challenging subject. Part 1 ("Past") focuses on forgiveness. Bradshaw asserts that there are two types of forgiveness: accepting the situation to move on without anger and bitterness and forgiving to forget. Part 2 ("Present") begins the first steps to building a healthy self-confidence and believing that one is a likable individual. It guides readers through exercises in dealing with their inner critic (or ICK), finding their true inner voice, and exploring the self-time continuum and concludes with the 80–20 Rule. Part 3 ("Future") is designed for the Future You and concerns adding other relationships into the mix. VERDICT This is not necessarily a text that teens would select from the library shelves, but it may be well used as a desk copy for middle and high school counselors. A solid text with good advice overall.—Elaine Baran Black, Georgia Public Library Service, Atlanta

School Library Journal