I Will Not Leave You Comfortless: A Memoir

I Will Not Leave You Comfortless: A Memoir

by Jeremy Jackson
I Will Not Leave You Comfortless: A Memoir

I Will Not Leave You Comfortless: A Memoir

by Jeremy Jackson

eBook

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Overview

This memoir of “a happy childhood in rural Missouri just before the digital revolution [is] a sweet record of a time and a place that was not Always On.” —St. Louis Post-Dispatch

Spanning one year of the author’s life—1984—I Will Not Leave You Comfortless is the intimate memoir of a young boy coming to consciousness in small-town Missouri. The year will bring ten-year-old Jeremy first loves, first losses, and a break from the innocence of boyhood that will never be fully repaired. For Jeremy, the seeming security of his life on the family farm is forever shaken by the life-altering events of that pivotal year. Throughout, he recalls the deeply sensual wonders of his rural Midwestern childhood—bicycle rides in September sunlight; the horizon vanishing behind tall grasses—while stories both heart-wrenching and humorous, tragic and triumphant, Jackson weaves past, present, and future into the rich Missouri landscape.

“I could smell the mulberries crushed underfoot and the sweet steam of the cinnamon roll Grandma heated in the toaster oven just for Jeremy, hear the ever-increasing volume of an approaching late-spring storm . . . The year of Jeremy Jackson’s life on which he meditates in I Will Not Leave You Comfortless marked his transition from the perfect happiness of childhood to the much more complex reality of adulthood. It records, as well, the abiding comfort that remains—family, home and love.” —Wichita Eagle

“Jackson writes about Missouri as the young Hemingway wrote about Michigan: with a clear eye; with hard-edged nostalgia; and (here’s the thing) with brilliance.” —Darin Strauss, author of Half a Life

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781571318701
Publisher: Milkweed Editions
Publication date: 10/05/2021
Sold by: Barnes & Noble
Format: eBook
Pages: 242
File size: 587 KB

About the Author

Jeremy Jackson is the author of two novels, Life at These Speeds, a B&N Discover pick, and In Summer, a Booksense Recommends selection. A graduate of Vassar College and the Iowa Writers' Workshop, he lives in Iowa City. Jackson is also the author of young adult novels under the name of Alex Bradley, and cookbooks including, The Cornbread Book, which was nominated for a James Beard Award. He writes about food for the Chicago Tribune and the Washington Post.

In His Own Words. . .
Though I was born in Ohio, I grew up with my family on a farm in the Ozark borderlands of Missouri. We raised cattle and hay and had a garden the size of Texas. At various times we had horses, cattle, a pig, sheep, chickens, ducks, and a pony. We ate a lot of these animals, but not the pony. We also had wild blackberries and persimmons and walnuts on our farm. And a pear tree. And we caught fish in our ponds. We ate some of them, too.

For some crazy reason, I headed off to Vassar College, thinking that I would become a writer. Unfortunately, I did. It was all downhill from there, though the sex was good. From Vassar I went straight into the Iowa Writers' Workshop, where I wrote brilliant stories about bunnies, marbles, and a talking mailbox named Ruth. Then I spent a year writing a novel and a screenplay. Then I went and taught English back at Vassar for two years. Being a professor was a mind-numbing experience, though the sex was good. I quit that job and started being a writer full time, which was very much like being a writer part time except that it took a lot more time and I felt much more guilty when I didn't write anything. I moved from Poughkeepsie back to Iowa, which is kind of like moving from the outer circles of hell to the Garden of Eden.

Read an Excerpt

A Storm

On the last Wednesday of April, 1983, my grandmother went to a funeral. She drove from the farm to Windsor through the early afternoon sunlight, past pastures where the grass was shin high and rising, past full creeks, past newly plowed fields. In town, the last tulips bloomed in front yards and side yards, the sidewalks were swept, and the streets were shaded by leaves that as of a week ago hadn’t even been born. This was spring in Missouri.

She had heard on the radio about the thunderstorms, but there was no sign of them yet. The day was quiet. She walked from the parking lot to the church through a breeze with no hint of threat to it. She was not a nervous woman, nor unfamiliar with the storms of her part of the country. She had lived in western Missouri her whole life, and she didn’t consider changing the course of her day just because storms were near.

That said, when the funeral was over and she had played the last sustained chord on the organ, she headed straight home. Within the course of an hour, the sky had changed. The sun had slipped behind a veil of high clouds so that the day was still bright, but there were no shadows anymore. She drove west, and once she le! the trees and houses of town she could see the storm clouds in front of her. They were close.

Really, it was a race. She was on a collision course with the storms, and it was simply a master of who would reach the farm first. The clouds that were approaching were not pleasant clouds. They were black and moving fast, like the flagships of night.

Table of Contents

The First Part

A Storm 3

Food, Animals 10

See Farther 24

Stay 32

A Good Party 38

The Second Part

In the Dark 45

Stop 56

We Had Some Lights 63

Coming Home 70

So, Christmas 78

So, Christmas: Part Two 87

Such Hope 100

Once 105

Distance 111

Deep 117

Pray 123

Plans 131

Deep: Part Two 140

Go Back Tomorrow 150

Backward 155

Guard 162

We Are Weak 164

Her Existing Sixteen Journal Entries from April 30 Turned into One Journal Entry 170

Houston's Creek 172

The God of Mildred Jackson 175

Then 187

The Last Part

Normally, We Got Normal Milk 191

You Will Lose More 199

Under the Summer Sun 209

A Day Made for Grape Juice 213

East 217

Epilogue 223

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