Just Open the Door: How One Invitation Can Change a Generation

by Jen Schmidt Narrated by Sarah Zimmerman

Overview

For many of us women, inviting people into our lives and homes feels like inviting judgement of our entertaining skills and stress on our already maxed-out schedules. But what if you knew that opening your front door was a simple and radical way to change the world? Jen Schmidt is determined to prove it to you. She has set out to reframe how we think about hospitality and to encourage us to walk a road of welcome in our everyday lives. She aims to shatter the image of model homes and model lives, replacing it with relatable, everyday invitations determined to get to know the people around us from more than just a polite distance. When we drop the idea of entertaining, and instead just open the door--just as we are--our guests get to experience the everyday Gospel, our kids grow up in a life lab of generosity, and we trade insecurity for connection.Just Open the Door is for seasoned hosts, nervous newbies, and everyone in between. It is a personal yes-you-can invitation. Through Jen's hilarious fails, personal tales, and practical tips, you'll start to see your home as the most likely location for changing the world around you.

Product Details

BN ID:	2940171356163
Publisher:	EChristian, Inc.
Publication date:	04/10/2018
Edition description:	Unabridged

Read an Excerpt

CHAPTER 1

What's Hospitality, Really?

A few months ago, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in years. As we were catching up, she reminisced, "Our son still talks about the tornado party at your house. Remember that? He said it was the best party he'd ever been to."

Remember it? I still shudder thinking about it.

Even in hearing her bring it up, the anxiety of that night flushed all over me again. I could feel the hairs on my back start to cringe (and I'm pretty sure girls aren't supposed to have hair there). That day was one that descended into CHAOS, and by that I mean I felt like defaulting to Can't Have Anybody Over Syndrome. Chaos, I tell you. More than once it brought to mind the saying, "Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were."

But since we're going to be sharing the good, bad, and ugly of life together in these pages, I'll start with this memory that still makes me shiver, even if now I can chuckle in remembrance.

We live on a large plot of land in the country. Think of the old classic Green Acres, starring the city girl who moved with her husband to a wannabe homestead, and that's me ... minus my dearly departed farm animals, but that's another story. So we're a frequent destination place for our city-suburban friends, especially if they have kids, looking for some wholesome, healthy fun. We've got plenty of that! But what we don't have is a big bonus room or basement with lots of indoor space where the little ones can run wild, so we enjoy having our larger gatherings outside. And that was my plan on the day that became our altogether unplanned tornado party.

The spectacular North Carolina weather sported mostly blue skies and perfect summer temps. More than seventy-five people had signed up to attend our Sunday school picnic, so I frantically raced against the clock to have everything ready — getting extra chairs and blankets set up outside, dumping soda and ice in the cooler, tending to last-minute details. As the first families pulled in, kids ran for our trampoline while the grown-ups greeted one another with hugs and handshakes, popping the tabs on their favorite cold drinks. This was going to be a blast. I did notice a few dark clouds rolling in, but I'd been checking the weather for days — like I always do — so I wasn't too concerned.

After about fifty people had arrived, I got an SOS text: "Jen, we were halfway to your house and had to turn around. The wind is swirling like crazy and it's pouring. Hail is heading your way too. Did you hear there's a tornado warning for our area?"

Immediately I did the "warning versus watch" check in my mind. I always forget which is which. One of them means a tornado has actually touched down. Which is it? Remembering the difference, I looked at the text again. Yes, she said "warning." We were in serious trouble.

As the thunderclouds raced in, as the winds picked up, as the rain began pelting down, my stomach dropped. We had no choice but to bring everyone inside. What in the world was I going to do with all these kids in the house? Yet no sooner did the challenge present itself than it doubled in intensity. Within a few minutes, just as the skies turned totally black, the power went out. Are you kidding me?

The darkness, though, I could actually deal with. Since candles are my favorite finds at yard sales, I'd accumulated quite a collection, and I rushed to hand them out, lighting up the family room and kitchen. Hospitality Tip 101: Candlelight makes everything better, every time. Our home is known for the overkill on candles. It's like white, twinkling lights at Christmastime. Always cozy. But country living also means we have our own well. Our water depends on electricity, which means when we lose power, we lose water, including the water necessary to flush our toilets. So for the next three hours — THREE HOURS! — we basically hosted our fifty-or-so guests with nothing but the use of an indoor porta-potty.

Not knowing what else to do with everyone, I led them in group games, anything I could think of. Parents and kids alike did crazy sing-alongs with the motions they'd learned at church. I'm pretty sure we even sang "The Twelve Days of Christmas"— right there in the middle of July — because when stressed and under pressure, you do what comes to mind. Let's be honest, that song is annoyingly long, and creating time-stretching activities for these kids was my only goal.

I could go on and on with the crazy details. No air-conditioning, no electricity, no flushing toilets. And yet for at least one of the kids who was there, when he thought back on it, he considered it the "best" party ever — because in the midst of total bedlam, we leaned into a level of creativity that never would have surfaced during an outdoor gathering.

The "tornado party" really did turn out to be a memorable event. In fact, my friend's comment was far from the first time I'd heard people speak fondly of it. On that day when I opened our door to the most imperfect hospitality ever served, God opened a door that shifted a lot of our hearts. Many friends throughout the years have pinpointed that day as a significant marker that began shaping their view of true hospitality. Who would have thought? Chaos came in, and grace flowed out. In all its unexpected simplicity.

* * *

Hospitality. What is it, really? When we overstress, overplan, and overthink inviting others into our lives and homes, hospitality becomes overwhelming to our souls. We become slaves to the expectations of others. We freeze at the mere thought of extending an invitation. Craving both perfection and polished perception, we fall victim to a cruel taskmaster. So how do we find the balance here? How do we open our door to the unknown without opening ourselves to dread and discouragement?

It comes down to knowing the difference between entertaining and hospitality.

In her flagship book Entertaining, Martha Stewart says, "Entertaining, like cooking, is a little selfish, because it really involves pleasing yourself with a guest list that will coalesce into your ideal of harmony, with a menu orchestrated to your home and taste, with decorations subject to your own eye. Given these considerations, it has to be pleasureful."

This one paragraph hints at the telltale difference. It all rests on this dichotomy.

The entertaining host seeks to elevate herself. And as Martha mentions, it's a bit selfish. When the guest arrives, the entertainer announces, "Here I am. Come into my beautiful abode and have the honor of partaking of all the wonderful things I've spent hours getting done for you. Look at this lavish buffet, the intricate décor, and the wonderful party favors. How fortunate for you to be here and be part of this." While I embellish on what a hostess might actually say, we've all encountered this attitude once or twice, haven't we? Maybe we've even allowed a similar tone to slip ever so subtly into our own hosting. But when you leave the entertaining host's house, how do you feel? Remember that, and do the opposite.

Hospitality is different. Biblical hospitality offers our best to Him first, understanding that our best to others will then fall into place. It transforms our selfish motives and elevates our guest. When the hospitable hostess swings wide the door, all her attention focuses outward: "You're here! I've been waiting for you. No one is more important today than you, and I'm thrilled you've come." The posture we assume in hospitality is one that bends low, generously offering our heart to another despite whatever interruption to our own plans or comfort. Extending hospitality is about freely giving of ourselves while granting others the freedom to be themselves. Shifting our focus from us to them removes all unnecessary expectations. No need to worry about what to say or how to act. Just come as you are.

Hospitality, unlike entertaining, treats everyone as a guest of honor rather than grasping at honor for yourself. Opening your door has nothing to do with the actual setting, the guest list, or the food. The atmosphere can be exactly the same yet have very different results based on the heart attitude of the one who welcomes.

Status-seeking versus servanthood.

"Here I am" versus "here you are."

Self-serving to serving others.

Over and over I'm reminded that we have no grand blueprint for hospitality aside from loving others. As the master architect, God drew up hospitality so that it gravitates around this core component — yes, He even determines when we have electricity and when we don't. He is not shy about interrupting our best-laid plans. He will ask us to give up the ordered control we consider so crucial before we'll open the door. But the reason we open the door anyway is because we're driven by the main principles of hospitality: loving Him, loving His will, and following His will into loving others.

The deep-seated worrying, the excuses, and the overthinking of a simple invitation should be warning signs, telling us we're confusing social entertaining with hospitality. When we use our lives exactly as they are, desiring only to create a sacred space for our guests, mixing it with the countercultural truth of loving Jesus and loving others, we turn entertaining upside down, and it becomes radical hospitality.

* * *

As I've studied the ways hospitality is woven throughout the tapestry of Scripture, I've been convicted anew. Beginning in the Old Testament, God tells us to welcome and love the stranger. Within the context of that ancient culture, He instructed His people to give of their time, energy, and whatever meager possessions were on hand, demonstrating hospitality to traveling strangers by feeding and housing them after an exhausting journey. In the New Testament, hospitality is said to be a distinctive mark of the Christian church. Early believers took seriously the command to use their homes as a place for extending grace to others.

Among the most direct, concise biblical statements on this subject is what Paul says in Romans 12:13, "Pursue hospitality." It's not a question. In fact, pursue is a strong verb that implies constant or continuous action, a proactive decision. This verse doesn't suggest that some people have the gift of hospitality while others lack it. No, we're all meant to be in the habit of pursuing hospitality. It's a command to love others well in a tangible way. But here's where the blessing comes in. The difference. For as we obey what God commands here — as we begin to experience the fullness, richness, and joy that comes from practicing life-giving hospitality — we see this biblical instruction transforming from an active command to a deep, profound, yet simple calling, one we pursue first out of love, only to find it too contagious for us to stop.

Sweet friend, I know hospitality takes a bold kind of courage, but you can do this. Pursue it with the knowledge that Christ is enough. Whenever you feel, "I can't do this," hear Him remind you, "You're right. You can't. But I can." Hospitality is where He can teach you bold new lessons about trust, humility, faith, and love.

When I replay this truth about God's sufficiency in my heart, confident that He can transform lives in spite of me, all those over-the-top expectations go away. Because, again, it's not about me. I have nothing to prove. He delights to work with my imperfections. If people are blessed and impacted, it's only because He's gracious to take a broken, weary, and unimpressive woman and use her desire for serving Him to point others to Jesus, in spite of herself.

Let this truth sink deep. Receive it as absolute freedom. Stop striving for the unattainable, stop worrying about what others think of your performance, and focus solely on our One-person audience, knowing this focus will always lead you to loving others. If He can work through an indoor porta-potty party, just imagine the other miracles He will perform when you show up and surrender your idea of perfection. Trust me, our version is so overrated anyhow.

So this is it — my simple invitation to awaken your soul to the transforming power of what open-door living can do when you step forward and say, "I'm willing and available."

This book for you may be an invitation to an entirely new way of thinking about hospitality. Or it may be a refresher on what matters most, marked by a new and abiding passion that what you're doing is kingdom work, that you're launching a godly legacy. Either way, you and I will be doing some heart business over these next few chapters. So let's link arms and stop peeking through the window. You hold the key that unlocks the door to so many meaningful possibilities, and I can't wait to discover them with you.

Baby steps, sweet sister. The road of welcome awaits.

And it's sure to take you and your guests to some of the "best" moments and memories you've ever had.

* * *

Coming to the end of this chapter (and every chapter), enjoy a couple of extra features that I hope will help you process and implement what God is encouraging you to do as you read. "Dear Jen" is a brief Q&A initiated by some of my blog readers. "Elevate the Ordinary" includes specific tips and ideas that can take you from "not me" to "Yes, I can do that too!"

* * *

Dear Jen

While the thought of hosting a large group paralyzes me, I love the idea of inviting a few friends for an outdoor picnic, yet I don't want to worry about cooking. What's your favorite suggestion?

Newbie

Dear Newbie,

As you take your first step, set yourself up for success and don't bother attempting a full dinner. Instead, enjoy a good old-fashioned ice cream social. Gather lawn games, ask people to bring their favorite topping or ice cream flavor, and assemble an evening topped with sweetness. Or go for the gold by building the "world's longest" banana split. Purchase a plastic rain gutter and run it on top of your tables. Using the gutter as the big bowl, each guest creates their favorite ice cream sundae side by side. Kids love this, and they'll talk about it for years (especially if you're extra generous with the whipped cream and cherries).

Jen

* * *

Elevate the Ordinary

Have you been meaning to text or call a certain friend for weeks, but you've been putting it off? Stop now, grab your phone, and let her know you're thinking of her.

Create a friendly and inviting front-door area. Clear all miscellaneous clutter. If you have space, consider painting a cute wooden chair or bench and setting a basket of flowers on top. I found mine for five dollars at a yard sale. Or maybe be bold and give the door a fresh, new paint color. You won't believe the difference it makes.

My favorite way to greet guests is by personalizing a message to them on this huge chalkboard I made. And it's so easy to do. At a thrift store, purchase the largest framed picture you can find, spray paint the frame white, then paint over the picture with chalkboard paint. Voila! Now you can greet each guest with a warm, personalized welcome.

EXTRA HELPINGfrom my mom (Donna Van Eerden)

Open-Door Invitations

I know this is unusual, maybe reckless or even unsafe in this sin-filled world. But the truth is that I've lived many decades with an actual open front door in my home ... yes, even at night!

Along the way, I've had a big husband, three strong sons, and plenty of live-in guests as protectors — which is helpful, since having a locked door hasn't been on the top of my must-do list.

Just as I've had a physical open door in my life, I've tried to keep my spiritual door open as well, and this has given me a lifetime of surprise guests. Usually, these guests were spiritually troubled in some way, and God repeatedly brought them into my life through that open door! After multiple occurrences, it's become apparent to me that these random visitors weren't accidental at all. Actually, I believe these experiences are how God has used my life's desire to serve Him more fully with each remaining day.

One of the first visitors we welcomed through our front door was a young, pregnant girl who lived two and a half hours away from us. She arrived with her embarrassed parents one Sunday afternoon, needing a home during the showing stage of her pregnancy. Overwhelming love flooded our hearts, and she became like a daughter to us to shepherd through some heart-wrenching months leading up to the birth of her precious baby girl. Thirty-plus years later, our bond with this special "daughter" remains stronger than ever.

Another opportunity to offer hospitality occurred immediately after I had returned home from my first of eight mission trips to China as an ESL teacher (English as a Second Language). The Chinese people had found a lasting place in my heart, so when I returned home, I reached out to local universities to find a Chinese woman who was interested in being a language friendship partner with an American woman. Soon after, I was introduced to a Chinese student and arranged to meet with her for coffee. We clicked immediately as my spiritual front door opened, and both of us knew this was the beginning of something special. She was divorced with a young son in a strange country, and she needed help with a custody battle, a difficult process in the male-dominated Chinese culture. After retaining a Christian lawyer, we methodically walked through a difficult court case with her. A few years later, she remarried and in time gave birth to a precious baby girl. Needing to return to her work as an accountant, she gave me the joy and privilege of caring for her baby for seven months until the family was transferred to another city. A lifetime connection again!

(Continues…)

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Excerpted from "Just Open the Door"
by .
Copyright © 2018 DaySprings Card, Inc..
Excerpted by permission of B&H Publishing Group.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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