Table of Contents
Acknowledgments viii
Preface ix
To Get the Most from This Book xi
Introduction: Is Communication Really the Key to Marriage? 1
Part I A Book Within a Book
1 A Short Course on Love and Respect 11
Part II Three Vital Truths for Better Communication
2 In Marriage, the Mouth Matters 37
3 Not Wrong, Just Different 54
4 Can You Trust Your Spouse's Goodwill? (Can Your Spouse Trust Yours?) 70
Part III The Crazy Cycle: A Relentless Enemy of Marital Communication
5 Decode-and Stop the Crazy Cycle 89
6 "Ouch! You're Stepping on My Air Hose!" 102
7 Forgiveness: The Ultimate Strategy for Halting the Crazy Cycle 118
Part IV The Energizing Cycle: To Better Communicate, Meet Your Spouse's Needs
8 Enjoy Win-Win Communication on the Energizing Cycle 137
9 Decode-and Then Use C-H-A-I-R-S to Energize Him 161
10 Decode-and Then Use C-O-U-P-L-E to Energize Her 180
11 Dealing with the Everyday Challenge 197
12 More Strategies for Dealing with Communication Glitches 211
Part V The Rewarded Cycle: The Unconditional Dimension of Communication
13 Why the Rewarded Cycle Is for Every Marriage-Hot, Cold, or Lukewarm 229
14 The Jesus Way of Talking-Part I
Communicating with Love and Respect 249
15 The Jesus Way of Talking-Part II
To Love and Respect, Use Truthful, Uplifting, and Forgiving Words 265
16 The Jesus Way of Talking-Part III
To Love or Respect: Be Thankful, Scriptural-and Faithful 288
Conclusion: In God Always Trust 309
Endnotes 320
Appendix A How to Get Off a Chronic Crazy Cycle Caused by Low-Grade Resentment 327
Appendix B Forgiving-But Also Confronting-the Three A's: Adultery, Abuse, Addiction 338
Appendix C Howto Write a Love Note or Make a Good "I Love You" Speech to Your Wife 341
Appendix D Using Feedback to Clarify Your Conversations 346
Appendix E Unconditional Love and Respect Do Not Operate on a Scale of 1-10 351
Appendix F My Prayer in This Time of Trial 354