Leon and the Spitting Image

by Allen Kurzweil Narrated by Mark Linn-Baker

Overview

Leon and the Spitting Image is about a hotel full of animals. It's about an evil ice maker. It's about glass eyeballs and human catapults. It's about really old panty hose and Possibly Fake Hair.

But mostly it's about Leon Zeisel and his epic quest to survive fourth grade. What's stopping him? Two things. First, there's Miss Hagmeyer. She's a supernaturally strict teacher with ears that resemble giant rotting mushrooms. And then there is Leon's archenemy, Lumpkin the Pumpkin, a human tank with a deadly dodgeball throw known to all as the sidewinder.

Luckily, Leon has two friends, Lily-Matisse and P.W., who will stand by him no matter what -- even if his magical, mysterious plans for rescue and revenge involve . . . SPIT!

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly

Linn-Baker effortlessly inhabits the character of Leon Zeisel, a beleaguered fourth-grader with troubles at school that are larger (and weirder) than most kids'. As the first day of school approaches, Leon already feels a sense of defeat. He has peeked into his mother's papers and surreptitiously read a confidential file about his school performance to this point. Teachers' evaluations from the Classical School label him "clumsy" and "delayed," especially when it comes to demonstrating fine motor skills. That doesn't bode well when his fourth grade teacher turns out to be a strict and strange woman with a Velcroed-on wig, super-human hearing and a lesson plan that includes sewing a menagerie of stuffed animals throughout the year. As the school year and Leon's sewing ability progress, however, he finds a magical key to making his life a whole lot easier. Listeners will quickly be hooked by the goofy character traits and mysterious plot elements here, delivered in Linn-Baker's crisp, accomplished style. He consistently sounds chipper or downtrodden as the situation demands. As the title may suggest, kids will also delight in the fact that Leon's eventual triumph involves a good amount of spit. Ages 8-up. (Oct. 2003). Copyright 2004 Reed Business Information.

School Library Journal

Gr 4-6-A comic story with a touch of wish-fulfillment fantasy. Leon lives in the rather wacky and seedy New York City hotel where his mother works. The Ethical School, which puts particular emphasis on handicrafts, presents a problem for him, as he is challenged in the area of fine motor skills. The villain of the piece is Leon's fourth-grade teacher, Miss Cronheim, who wears pantyhose the color of cooked liver and who has a curriculum based on the sewing of stuffed animals. In response to a threat that he may have to repeat the year, Leon sews a doll that is the "spitting image" of the teacher and by chance discovers that by manipulating it into different poses, Miss Cronheim follows suit as if in a trance. Leon and two friends then plot to get her to put a pair of her pantyhose over the head of the school bully. Kurzweil's humor is light and funny in relation to Leon's home life and friendships, but has more of an edge to it in the school-related scenes. The author handles the element of magic in a believable way. Less credible, however, is the speed with which his hero changes from being a "two stitches per inch" sewer to being capable of making a doll that looks like a human, even to the gnarls in the ears. If readers can suspend disbelief, they will enjoy the entertainment that Leon and his friends provide.-Sue Giffard, Ethical Culture Fieldston School, New York City Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.

Kirkus Reviews

At least as appealing as fictional toilets and underpants, is spit, which figures prominently in this tale of wish-fulfillment. Leon, developmentally delayed in manual dexterity, is bedeviled by his stitchery-obsessed fourth-grade teacher whose requirement for promotion is a "masterpiece" sewn with 11 stitches per inch. Leon crafts a perfect replica of his teacher and discovers that, by soaking it in the Coach's tobacco spit he can move the doll, magically controlling Miss Hagmeyer's behavior. The results are food fights between teachers and gravity-defying displays of jump-rope proficiency. This contains a collection of goofy secondary characters, including Leon's supportive mother who works nights in a hotel that welcomes pets, and a monster of a hotel ice machine that keeps Leon sleep-deprived. The plot veers giddily out of control as Leon and his friends scheme revenge against the teacher and the school bully, leaving some of the most interesting characters and plot strands behind. This will probably not matter to young readers who think that spit is the funniest thing since underpants. (Fiction. 8-10)

JUN/JUL 04 - AudioFile

Another entry in the current fad of kids’ books involving bodily functions features--you guessed it--spit. Fourth- grader Leon’s problems with dexterity threaten to hold him back for another year with “The Hag.” But it could just be that he’s found the motivation he needs for improvement: His sewing project, when properly dabbed in drool, can really work magic on his problems with everything from teachers to bullies. With vocal versatility and a lighthearted tone, Mark Linn-Baker conjures up just the right personality for every character--from tyrant Lumpkin the Pumpkin to Leon’s hard-working, yet always upbeat, single mom. The full fleshing out of the characters makes this enjoyable, and Mark Linn-Baker delivers it with just a hint of a laugh, gleaning all the humor from this charming story. D.G. © AudioFile 2004, Portland, Maine

Product Details

BN ID:	2940170035168
Publisher:	HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date:	05/10/2005
Edition description:	Unabridged
Age Range:	8 - 11 Years

Read an Excerpt

Leon and the Spitting Image

Chapter One

The Envelope

The night before the start of fourth grade, Leon Zeisel was on pins and needles. He lay in bed thinking about just one thing. An envelope.

Leon had first discovered the envelope one week earlier, while poking through his mom's desk. The envelope had attracted his attention for a simple reason. His name was written across the front in thick block letters. For a brief moment he had thought the envelope might contain a special surprise -- tickets to a Yankees–Red Sox doubleheader would have been sweet -- but that dream disappeared as soon as he noticed the school seal and a single word stamped in blood-red ink:

CONFIDENTIAL

That warning did the trick. Curious though he was, Leon shoved the unopened envelope back inside the desk.

But after a few days, curiosity turned into concern, and concern then turned into terror. Which was why, the night before school started, Leon slipped out of bed and made a beeline back to his mom's desk. Once there, he pulled the middle drawer halfway out. That released a catch on the slim side drawer. Don't rush, he told himself. Mom's working late.

Leon squinched his eyes shut and clucked his tongue. Only after completing his good-luck routine did he remove the envelope, undo its clasp, lift the flap, and inspect the contents -- three sheets of paper, each with the phrase home report centered at the top. His fingers started shaking and his heart started thumping as it dawned on him that he was holding a top-secret history of his life at the Classical School.

Leon took a deep breath and began to read. Page one came from his first-grade teacher, Mrs. Sloat. She wrote: "Given the tragic loss of his father, it is not surprising that Leon is a tad delayed in the domain of manual dexterity."

Leon sighed. He didn't like being called delayed. And bringing in his dad -- who had died in a freak accident at a fireworks factory when Leon was four -- felt like a cheap shot.

He went back to Mrs. Sloat's assessment: "Leon's frustration most regularly expresses itself during craft time. He completed his macaroni necklace only with a great deal of assistance. And although a macaroni necklace might not seem important, it is. For here at the Classical School, our motto has always been, 'Nimble fingers make for nimble minds.'"

Geez! How many times had he heard that stupid saying!

Leon recalled only one thing about Mrs. Sloat, and the memory wasn't pleasant. He remembered her badgering him to stick his hands in Play-Doh and to feel the squishiness. Leon hadn't liked squishiness back in first grade, and he didn't like squishiness now.

He turned to page two. It came from his second-grade teacher, Miss Toothacre. Her report was just as grim. Miss Toothacre wrote, "Leon continues to be hampered by a troubling lack of fine motor skills."

That was another dumb thing he had heard a thousand times. Leon knew only too well that "lack of fine motor skills" had nothing to do with fancy cars. Teachers used the expression to avoid calling him a klutz.

The comment hurt. Suppose he was hampered; wasn't that Miss Toothacre's fault? She was the one cramming him into a bogus confidential report. Didn't that make her the hamperer?

Leon wiped his nose on the sleeve of his pajamas and braced himself for the third-grade report. It was now Mr. Joost's turn to get his licks in. Mr. Joost wrote, "Leon's handwriting is significantly below grade level, and he is challenged by even the most basic manual tasks, such as tying his laces. At this juncture, I would seriously encourage corrective measures. One suggestion: Flute lessons might improve his finger movement."

Leon had always wondered why his mother forced him to take music classes with Miss Brunelleschi. Now he knew.

The home reports felt like strikes one, two, and three. And that made it all the more odd that the only nice words in the whole secret history came from Skip Kasperitis, the former minor-league pitcher who taught PE.

Coach Kasperitis wrote, "Leon is a real treat and a very special kid. His coordination needs work, but there's no question he's a champ. And if he ever learns to master his passion, I'll tell you this, Leon Zeisel is the kind of kid who could make magic."

Leon and the Spitting Image. Copyright © by Allen Kurzweil . Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.

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