Read an Excerpt
Living a Charmed Life
Your Guide to Finding Magic in Every Moment of Every Day
Chapter One
Know that you are worthy
Nothing you have done, nothing that was done to you, and nothing anyone else has ever said to you or believed about you erases the inalienable truth that you are one delectable creation.
Most of us waste a lot of time distrusting ourselves and discounting ourselves. As hard as we work to instill confidence in our children, it can be difficult to maintain healthy self-esteem ourselves. We might feel very competent about certain talents and aptitudes; we could even feel smug and superior in some aspects of life. Despite intermittent bravado, however, underneath there is often the shadow thought "If they only knew the truth, they'd be disappointed."
It's up to you to know the truth, the real truth about yourself. That is: you are an expression of the beneficence that brought you forth. Of course you have more to learn as you go along, and you've done things in the past that you wish you hadn't. A valid definition of human being might be: "intelligent biped who has more to learn and who has done things he/she wishes that he/she hadn't." This is who you are in your current model—that is, Homo sapiens living on earth. You're no more unworthy because of that fact than a bicycle is unworthy because it isn't a spaceship.
Personally, I thought I had the self-worth thing down pretty well. I mean, I've worked on myself for a long time, and as a certified life coach I help other people realize that they are fully worthy of getting to where they want to be. That's whywhat happened at Cafe Gratitude, a vegan restaurant in San Rafael, California, was such a big deal for me. The name of every item on the menu there—appetizers, entrées, desserts, drinks—is an affirmation. If you were ordering several courses, you'd say to the server when you gave your order: "I am grateful, I am joyful, I am brilliant, and I am beautiful." When she served each dish, instead of saying, "Your spinach salad," she would say, "You are grateful" (or "joyful" or "brilliant" or whatever it is).
I was there with my friend Julie, and because we were catching up for the first time in a couple of years, I didn't pay too much attention to what I ordered. When the young server brought me the dish, however, she said, "You are worthy." I was taken aback. People have told me a lot of nice things in my life, but this was the first time anyone ever looked me in the eye and said, "You are worthy."
It is embarrassing to tell you (after authoring ten self-help books) that my life was changed by one line from an abundantly pierced and tattooed twenty-three-year-old, but it was. When she said, "You are worthy," I had to get over confusing my human failings with my basic value. It seemed at the time that I had to either accept my worth once and for all, or send my quinoa and tofu back to the kitchen.
I hope that you can go to California and dine at Cafe Gratitude. Until then, serve yourself a generous portion of self-worth every day—and rename what's for dinner!
This is useful as a way to make up for what more than likely happened in your early life, even if you came from a loving home. The standard scenario goes like this: We debut as babies, perfect and full of ourselves, but over time even that expression—"full of yourself"—takes on a negative connotation. The surety of our divine heritage and limitless value, which we knew so well in our earliest years, erodes as we're told what not to touch and what not to say, or when we're even once given a label like "chubby" or "slow" or "troublemaker." Some of us had religious training that, well meaning though it may have been, focused so much on sin that some innermost part of ourselves never made it to redemption. In school we got grades, and many of us are still grading ourselves on every aspect of our being.
It is time to outgrow self-doubt. You are worthy. Nothing you have done, nothing that was done to you, and nothing anyone else has ever said to you or believed about you erases the inalienable truth that you are one delectable creation. Always were, always will be. You are worthy. Eat your tofu.
Lucky Charm
Choose a common action (like looking in a mirror or walking through a door), and every time you do it, remind yourself that you are worthy.
Living a Charmed Life
Your Guide to Finding Magic in Every Moment of Every Day. Copyright © by Victoria Moran. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.
