Love Cycles, Fear Cycles: Reduce Conflict and Increase Connection in Your Relationship
224
Love Cycles, Fear Cycles: Reduce Conflict and Increase Connection in Your Relationship
224eBook
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Overview
Love Cycles, Fear Cycles teaches readers the most important idea in all of couples therapy. This idea gives readers a new understanding of what’s been going wrong in their marriage – and a new way to make things right. The key idea is changing a couple’s negative cycle back into their positive cycle. Most relationships start in a positive cycle, where both people feel wonderful and respond lovingly. There are four words that describe each couple’s positive cycle – one for each person’s good feeling, and one for each person’s loving response. However, as challenges arise, people instinctively respond with some type of fight or flight. Over time, these responses spiral together into a negative cycle where each person feels bad and responds defensively. There are four words for each couple’s negative cycle – one for each person’s worst feeling, and one for each person’s defensive reaction. Many couples get trapped in their negative cycle and their relationship spirals deeper into hurt and loneliness. To have a good marriage, a couple needs to find a way out of their negative cycle and back into their positive cycle. Love Cycles, Fear Cycles teaches readers how to do that. From his decades as a couples therapist, Dr. Woodsfellow has distilled this one most-essential component of all successful marriage counseling. He now presents this to the general public in a way that is easy to understand and easy to use.
Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781590794784 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | SelectBooks |
| Publication date: | 03/27/2018 |
| Sold by: | Barnes & Noble |
| Format: | eBook |
| Pages: | 224 |
| Sales rank: | 252,025 |
| File size: | 8 MB |
| Age Range: | 18 Years |
About the Author
Dr. David Woodsfellow is one of the most experienced marriage therapists is the United States. His practice has been 100% exclusively couples therapy for twenty-four years. He has done 25,000 hours of couples therapy and helped more than 1,500 couples save their marriages. Over 3,200 of his colleagues have attended his professional workshops, over 600 have referred patients, and over 200 have pursued advanced training with him. Dr. Woodsfellow graduated from Harvard College magna cum laude. He received his Master of Education in Guidance and Counseling from Antioch New England. He received his Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology from the University of California Santa Barbara. He was awarded his Doctor of Philosophy in Clinical Psychology from Georgia State University. His clinical psychology internship was at the Neuropsychiatric Institute of the University of California Los Angeles Medical School. Dr. Woodsfellow is a Fellow of the Georgia Psychological Association, and a Member of the American Psychological Association. Together with his wife Deborah, Dr. Woodsfellow founded The Woodsfellow Institute for Couples Therapy, which is dedicated to helping couples save their marriages and helping therapists help couples. Married 20 years, Dr. Woodsfellow has one son and two grandchildren. He lives and practices with Deborah in Atlanta, Georgia.
Deborah Woodsfellow is a relationship coach with 25 years of professional experience helping people who are struggling with challenging moments in their lives. She is a credentialed member of the International Coaching Federation. Deborah served as wartime Navy Corpsman in San Diego, California and a Physician Assistant in Atlanta, Georgia. She was awarded her Master’s in Public Health from Emory School of Public Health. Deborah blends her medical experience with her marital therapy training. Together with her husband, Deborah has co-presented couples workshops for 10 years and professional continuing education workshops for 15 years. She lives and practices in Atlanta, Georgia with David and her therapy dog, Gracie.Table of Contents
Preface ix
Acknowledgments xi
Introduction xv
Part I Understanding Your Fear Cycle 1
1 Why Is Love So Hard? 3
2 Your Four Worlds 21
3 Your Words Go Together 33
4 Your Fear Cycle 45
Part II Change Your Fear Cycle to a Love Cycle 59
5 Change Your Part of the Cycle 61
6 Three More Ways to Change Your Part 71
7 Understanding Childhood Influences 81
8 Your Love Cycle 99
9 Asking Your Partner to Change 113
10 Common Problems Couples Face 127
Afterword 145
Exercise Workbook 147
Resources for Getting Professional Help 183
Index 185
About the Authors 195
What People are Saying About This
I think this is a very helpful book. Easy to read. Easy to understand. Easy to apply with or without professional involvement. Many a relationship will be made better and more rewarding because of Woodsfellow’s insights and the openness with which he shares them. I highly recommend this book.
“Love Cycles, Fear Cycles" is the core polarity that embraces all couples and determines the quality and durability of their relationship. The authors skillfully use their relationship as the backdrop and illustration of negotiating that journey, producing an amazingly accessible book for all couples.
Dr. David Woodsfellow, and his wife Deborah, are well known for their expertise in couples therapy. Drawing upon his own personal journey, as well as years of training and experience, Dr. Woodsfellow has written an accessible guide for couples wishing to improve their relationship. The result, "Love Cycles, Fear Cycles: Reduce Conflict and Increase Connection in Your Relationship," is a clear and practical guide for anyone seeking to re-establish and strengthen their bond of love.
The social world is based on relationships. Good ones and bad ones. Isolation is not the answer. Sometimes we fear, sometimes we love, and always we strive to find balance. This book provides the tools to create strong relationships and to understand our interactions with our partners. I appreciate the expertise of David and. Deborah Woodsfellow who guide us through a journey toward good bonds in life.
I think this is a very helpful book. Easy to read. Easy to understand. Easy to apply with or without professional involvement. Many a relationship will be made better and more rewarding because of Woodsfellow’s insights and the openness with which he shares them. I highly recommend this book.
The social world is based on relationships. Good ones and bad ones. Isolation is not the answer. Sometimes we fear, sometimes we love, and always we strive to find balance. This book provides the tools to create strong relationships and to understand our interactions with our partners. I appreciate the expertise of David and. Deborah Woodsfellow who guide us through a journey toward good bonds in life.
I love it. This is a very sophisticated synthesis of attachment and other relationship theories and research, with well-validated approaches to behavior change, all presented in straightforward language. The examples make the concepts come alive and provide a strong foundation for discussion.
A real contribution to working with couples lies in specific advice or routines that each couple can adopt, and practice, to avoid and minimize conflict and maximize a modicum of peace and mutual support of one another. Here, change is not only desirable but also possible. The book by Woodsfellow is a most ambitious effort to examine how a couple’s personal history affects and is further shaped by their daily patterns of interaction with one another. These interactions have a reciprocal influence on one another’s feelings, thoughts, and, more importantly on actions toward one another. This is no small undertaking.
“Love Cycles, Fear Cycles" is the core polarity that embraces all couples and determines the quality and durability of their relationship. The authors skillfully use their relationship as the backdrop and illustration of negotiating that journey, producing an amazingly accessible book for all couples.
For those of you who are in a relationship and both love and struggle with your partner, this book will provide a thoughtful framework for how to ease your struggles. David and Deborah Woodsfellow share a personal story of love and working with that love to optimize it. They share a simple model for discovering ways to make your own love story better. This is an easy read that will provide insights for those who want to love more.
Dr. David Woodsfellow, and his wife Deborah, are well known for their expertise in couples therapy. Drawing upon his own personal journey, as well as years of training and experience, Dr. Woodsfellow has written an accessible guide for couples wishing to improve their relationship. The result, "Love Cycles, Fear Cycles: Reduce Conflict and Increase Connection in Your Relationship," is a clear and practical guide for anyone seeking to re-establish and strengthen their bond of love.
A real contribution to working with couples lies in specific advice or routines that each couple can adopt, and practice, to avoid and minimize conflict and maximize a modicum of peace and mutual support of one another. Here, change is not only desirable but also possible. The book by Woodsfellow is a most ambitious effort to examine how a couple’s personal history affects and is further shaped by their daily patterns of interaction with one another. These interactions have a reciprocal influence on one another’s feelings, thoughts, and, more importantly on actions toward one another. This is no small undertaking.
I love it. This is a very sophisticated synthesis of attachment and other relationship theories and research, with well-validated approaches to behavior change, all presented in straightforward language. The examples make the concepts come alive and provide a strong foundation for discussion.
For those of you who are in a relationship and both love and struggle with your partner, this book will provide a thoughtful framework for how to ease your struggles. David and Deborah Woodsfellow share a personal story of love and working with that love to optimize it. They share a simple model for discovering ways to make your own love story better. This is an easy read that will provide insights for those who want to love more.