Marriage Conflict: Talking as Teammates

by Stephan Michael Hoppe

Overview

How we communicate with one another matters—especially in a marriage. Even if we aren’t actively trying to cut down our spouses with our words, we can create friction and misunderstandings that hinder our unity and mutual growth. The Bible gives us countless principles to help us to communicate in ways that give life, not pain, to our spouses. In thirty-one daily devotional readings, biblical counselor Steve Hoppe paints a picture of whole new way of communicating, starting with the heart before moving into the practical dos and don’ts. Whether your home is a verbal war zone or you’d simply like to do a little better, this book is written for you. As you read through it with your spouse, meditating on Scripture, praying, and using the practical questions and action steps, you will learn to communicate with Christlike love, grow in holiness, and glorify God with your words.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781629956855
Publisher:	Presbyterian and Reformed Publishing
Publication date:	05/06/2020
Series:	31-Day Devotionals for Life
Pages:	104
Sales rank:	401,594
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x (d)

About the Author

Steve Hoppe (MDiv, Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary; MDiv, Westminster Theological Seminary; Advanced Counseling Certificate, Christian Counseling and Education Foundation) is executive director of Crosstown Counseling LLC. Previously, Steve served as the pastor of counseling at Park Community Church of Chicago.

Table of Contents

A Word to Couples Reading This Book Together 9

Introduction: A Matter of Life and Death 11

Marriage Conflict Starting Points

Day 1 Dig to the Root 19

Day 2 Check Your Tone 21

Day 3 Hydrate Frequently 23

Marriage Conflict Pitfalls

Day 4 Avoiding Conflict 27

Day 5 Fighting 29

Day 6 Checking Out 31

Day 7 Fixing 33

Day 8 Exaggerating 35

Day 9 Swearing 37

Day 10 Catastrophizing 39

Day 11 Comparing 41

Day 12 Typing instead of Talking 43

Day 13 Using Identity Statements 45

Day 14 Worshipping Your Spouse 47

Marriage Conflict Essentials

Day 15 Flee Temptation 51

Day 16 Take Out the Log 53

Day 17 Change Your Glasses 55

Day 18 Wear High Heels (or Air Jordans) 57

Day 19 Customize Your Response 59

Day 20 Play Catch 61

Day 21 Correct in Moderation 63

Day 22 Always Build Up 65

Day 23 Rejoice When Criticized 67

Day 24 Accept Injustice 69

Day 25 Pay the Debt 71

Day 26 Use We 73

Day 27 Call a Time-Out If Necessary 75

Day 28 Pause and Pray 77

Marriage Conflict and Community

Day 29 Be Golden When Talking to Others 81

Day 30 Consult Relatives Selectively 83

Day 31 Call In the Reserves 85

Conclusion: In All Things, Love 87

Acknowledgments 91

Suggested Resources for the Journey Together 93

Editorial Reviews

In this brief and rich devotional, Steve has given you a set of virtues that can redeem the micro moments that shape the macro state of your marriage. It is biblical, filled with grace, and highly practical. Just what you want and need to strengthen the most important relationship in your life. I would encourage anyone who wants a revived marriage to read and apply the messages of this devotional.

Tim S. Lane

Practical. A conversation starter. A guide. Marriage Conflict will teach you how and when to forgive your spouse, how to navigate in-law relationships, how to avoid trying to fix your spouse, and a plethora of other important marriage-related lessons. Through a series of specific, concise, and thoughtful reflections, you will inevitably grow in your communication with your spouse. The format is simple: read, discuss, reflect, and act. You’ll love it.

Every couple that walks down the aisle faces marriage conflicts, but few of us have the resources to resolve them. In this refreshingly honest and uniquely practical devotional, Steve offers us practical tools for communicating with truth, love, and wisdom. I recommend reading and working through it at least once a year with your spouse. It will bring joy, laughter, and the peace of God to your marriage.

Rebekah Lyons

Of all the marriage books I've read, this one has swiftly risen to the top. Writing as both an experienced marriage counselor and a "marriage practitioner" alongside his lovely wife, Abby, Steve gives valuable wisdom for couples, and from every imaginable angle, to ensure that they can navigate even the hardest parts of marital communication with love. As funny as it sounds, I can't recommend Marriage Conflict enough for those who wish to master conflict in their marriages.

Scott Sauls

The first sentence of the intro—that’s when I wanted in. I knew I would catch a richer vision for Christlike communication with my wife. After having read it, I realize that I have plenty of reasons to ask for forgiveness from her. I’ve grown up a bit. Hopefully I’ve become a better husband. Steve’s writing is thoughtful, engaging, and biblically rich. My married counselees will love this.

Ed Welch

Practical. A conversation-starter. A guide. Marriage Conflict will teach you how and when to forgive your spouse, how to navigate in-law relationships, how to avoid trying to fix your spouse, and a plethora of other important marriage-related lessons. Through a series of specific, concise, and thoughtful reflections, you will inevitably grow in your communication with your spouse. The format is simple: read, discuss, reflect, and act. You’ll love it.

Michael Keller

Of all the marriage books I've read, this one has swiftly risen to the top. Writing as both an experienced marriage counselor and as a 'marriage practitioner' alongside his lovely wife, Abby, Steve gives valuable wisdom for couples, and from every imaginable angle, to ensure that even the hardest parts of marital communication are navigated with love. As ironic as it sounds, I can't recommend Marriage Conflict enough for those who wish to master conflict in their marriages.

Scott Sauls Senior Pastor of Christ Presbyterian Church and author of several books

Every couple that walks down the aisle faces marriage conflicts, but few of us have the resources to resolve them. In this refreshingly honest and uniquely practical devotional, Steve offers us practical tools to communicate with truth, love, and wisdom. I recommend reading and working through it at least once a year with your spouse. It will bring joy, laughter, and the peace of God to your marriage.

Rebekah Lyons Author

The first sentence of the intro—that’s when I wanted in. I knew I would catch a richer vision for Christ-like communication with my wife. After reading it, I realize that I have plenty of reasons to ask for forgiveness from her. I’ve grown up a bit. Hopefully I’ve become a better husband. Steve’s writing is thoughtful, engaging, and biblically rich. My married counselees will love this.

Dr. Ed Welch Faculty Member and Counselor

Practical. A conversation-starter. A guide. Marriage Conflict will teach you how and when to forgive your spouse, how to navigate in-law relationships, how to avoid trying to fix your spouse, and a plethora of other important marriage-related lessons. Through a series of specific, concise, and thoughtful reflections, you will inevitably grow in your communication with your spouse. The format is simple: read, discuss, reflect, and act. You’ll love it.

Dr. Michael Keller Lead Pastor

In this brief and rich devotional, Steve has given you a set of virtues that can redeem the micro-moments that add up to the macro-state of your marriage. It is biblical, filled with grace, and highly practical. Just what you want and need to strengthen the most important relationship in your life. I would encourage anyone who wants a revived marriage to read and apply the messages of this devotional.

Dr. Tim S. Lane President