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Overview
“Once there were oarfish, opaleyes, olive flounders. Once the oxbows were not overrun with nitrogen.” Part requiem, part bedtime story, Meltwater narrates the awful possibility of doom as well as the grim temptation to numb ourselves to it. Prose poems melt into erasures, erasures swell into lush catalogs. Within this formal ebb and flow, Claire Wahmanholm explores both abundance and annihilation, giving shape and music to our shared human anxieties. What does it mean to bring children into a world like this one? A world where grenades are “the only kind of fruit we can still name”? Where “lightning can strike over / and over without boredom or belief and nothing / is saved”? Where losses, both ecological and personal, proliferate endlessly?
Here, a parent’s joy is accompanied by the gnaw of remorse. And yet, Wahmanholm recognizes, children bind us to the world—to its missiles and marvels, to the possibility that there is indeed grace worth “suffer[ing] the empty universe for.”
If we are going to worry, let us also at least wonder. If we are going to be seized by terror, let us also be “seized by the topaz sky and the breeze through it.” A glittering, kinetic testament to vanishing—of biodiversity, of climate stability, of a sense of safety—Meltwater is both vindication and balm.
Product Details
ISBN-13: | 9781639551026 |
---|---|
Publisher: | Milkweed Editions |
Publication date: | 03/14/2023 |
Sold by: | Barnes & Noble |
Format: | eBook |
Sales rank: | 854,580 |
File size: | 9 MB |
About the Author
Claire Wahmanholm is the author of Meltwater, Redmouth, and Wilder, which won the Lindquist & Vennum Prize for Poetry and the Society of Midland Authors Award for Poetry, and was a finalist for the 2019 Minnesota Book Award. Her poems have appeared in Ninth Letter, Blackbird, Washington Square Review, Copper Nickel, Beloit Poetry Journal, Grist, RHINO, Los Angeles Review, Fairy Tale Review, Bennington Review, DIAGRAM, The Journal, and Kenyon Review Online, and have been featured by the Academy of American Poets. She lives in the Twin Cities.
Claire Wahmanholm is the author of Meltwater, Redmouth, and Wilder, which won the Lindquist & Vennum Prize for Poetry and the Society of Midland Authors Award for Poetry, and was a finalist for the 2019 Minnesota Book Award. Her poems have appeared in Ninth Letter, Blackbird, Washington Square Review, Copper Nickel, Beloit Poetry Journal, Grist, RHINO, Los Angeles Review, Fairy Tale Review, Bennington Review, DIAGRAM, The Journal, and Kenyon Review Online, and have been featured by the Academy of American Poets. She lives in the Twin Cities.
Read an Excerpt
IN A LAND WHERE EVERYTHING IS TRYING TO KILL ME, I CONSIDER LETTING IT
All I would need to do is stand for too long
beneath its jagged, capable shadow.
All I would have to do is let my skin absorb
that shade until my blood runs at 94 degrees.
Hypothermia is so much warmer than
I thought. The confusion begins here,
the mingling. Every time I walk beneath a tree,
more of me tangles with the breeze that lifts
its leaves, which are always 70 degrees, regardless
of geography. It would be so easy, listening
to this flash inside my brain, this fact
that takes up no more space than the open mouth
of a stoma. 50 microns. Half the width
of a neuron. It would be so easy, the sharpened
blade sliding like wind through whatever
comes within range. I snap my mind away
like a sleeve from an open flame, but the thought
will finish what it started. It will home
like salmon, or whales tracing the aura
of a continent. Like a missile. The wire
has been tripped, the fluids in my ear have risen
into waves by the alarm. How long
have I been standing here. Who is the woman
lying in the shade.
***
MM is for murmur and mutter—the ambiguity of the mobius strip, the marsh, the maybe trembling between two membranes. M is for mother, dark matter, the matrix that cradles the muscadine, marble, monosyllable, moon. Be menagerie, multivocal, madrigal. I carry your multitudes through midsummer, through marigolds and mayapples, through mud. I hide you in the middle of a maze, bury you like minerals in the mine of my body. You are marrow-deep, marine, mollusk in your mother of pearl hull. The months are a moat between you and melancholy, missiles, mourning. M is for the meteor magnifying through the telescope’s lens, the metronome unmuffling. M is for metamorphosis and mutant. I am more and more mountainous. I am a mare rolling in a midnight meadow, all musk and muzzle. M is for the migrations of monarchs, mule deer, mullet, for magnetic fields, for the way the world pulls you from me and you materialize. You are motor turned music, machine turned mortal. I am mended and marooned somewhere between mist and milk. I molt, am mangled. I molt, am myself.
***
THE FUTURE
The body is lined with it, like a nest,
like the down the eider plucks from her breast
until her nest is a gray mist weighed down
by five sea-green eggs. At the end of each season,
only one duckling will survive to fly
away. This is an average. On any given day,
all of the eggs may hatch, all of the hatchlings
may freeze. The gulls may cruise in rings
above the nesting colonies, the polar bear
may not surge ashore. The female eider
can lay eggs for eighteen years, more or less.
Without wanting to, I do the math. She will lose
seventy-two chicks before she dies, those numbers
traded against her own long years by nature’s
calm calculus. There is only so much life
to go around. It isn’t like a flame, whose belief
in itself is enough to burn a forest down.
Instead, we have been given one
bolt of cloth to be shared. The choice is
in how you shear it. I say “choice”
but of course it’s not. It’s a vast, organic machine
running like static behind everything; the gene
doesn’t want anything, doesn’t want, doesn’t
exist except by cosmic mistake. Accident
means to move toward a fall. And so they fall
and fall through time, carelessly, like a carnival
ride whose switch is stuck in the “on” position.
I would like to die before losing any children.
In fact, there is no reason for me to be alive anymore.
Having borne my code into the future,
even if only by another lifetime, I could not matter
less. Eider ducklings enter the water
motherless, will dive for mussels on their own
just one day after hatching. If they escape starvation,
the gulls, the cold, when will the dying begin?
When do the cells start to multiply or weaken?
The eider’s scientific name is somateria mollisima:
the softest body. My own is already less terra firma
and more open water, more unmooring, more
losing. I may have already begun to rupture
invisibly, my cells may have already begun
their unwinding. Time picks us up then sets us down
a little further on, pulses through us like a wave.
Sometimes it seems as if the eggs survive
just to keep the nest from blowing away.
I have stayed, even though it makes me prey
to worse things than freezing wind or gulls.
I am mostly glad we are not wild animals.
I am mostly glad about most things, even
the future, even though I know that broken
shells may float on its waters. I need to think
that the eider doesn’t grieve the breaking.
***
XYZ
The year yellows. The yolk of yesterday’s sun lazes in the yard, piled beside the yew and yarrow, the zucchini vine that never flowered, the waxy zenobia. It sprawls like yarn, a yawn that won’t be swallowed back into summer’s mouth. I am zombie-eyed, zephyr-minded, would sleep until the next equinox if I could, would relax my heart until it stopped. The cold rises through the thorax and into the larynx. The autumn haze is heavy and thick as a smashed yam. Through it, pollen floats like yeast. It is hard to follow the wren’s pitch and yaw, its yammering. Yearling, heir of my X, you are full of the reflex to live. I am hexed, cannot be coaxed to thrive. Zygote means yoke, the zipping of two bodies together, the axes on which are plotted a galaxy of Xs and Ys. Somewhere in that matrix is your syntax of chromosomes. You are a black box, a maze of invisible zigzags, beyond exegesis. The toadflax freezes from radix to apex. The ilex is evergreen but untouchable, the fuzz of some animal transfixed in its thorns. I think about extinction, the unidirectional vortex of time, read all the obsolete entries of the dictionary: the codex ywrit in lampe blacke; the yale ykoweryn by phlox up to its helixed horns; whelps ydreynt; the mouse in grasse by the fox ylaid; the phoenix from its sooty nest yborn ad infitium. I don’t care for eternity, its violence boxed and distributed into months. I don’t care for the zodiac, twisting back on itself like a zero. It only reminds me that your star is not fixed, that no stars are, that all measurements—azimuth to zenith—measure only emptiness. Even the sphinx knew that time is the most vexing puzzle. I envy the zebra distributing its name endlessly among the zebrafish, the zebra mussel, the zebra finch. Back in the garden, the drizzle glazes into ice. A bronzed apple thuds, a broken yo-yo. I cannot say no. I allow myself to be yanked back up, exhausted. Seized by the topaz sky and the breeze through it. By yes, by you.
Table of Contents
O
Hunger
You Will Soon Enter a Land Where Everything Will Try to Kill You
Glacier
Meltwater
M
In a Land Where Everything is Already Trying to Kill Me, I Enter a New Phase of My Life in Which It Would Be Very Bad If I Died
Meltwater
Metamorphosis with Milk and Sugar
In a Land Where Everything is Trying to Kill You, I Teach You to be an Autotomist
Poem That Cries Wolf
Glacier
Meltwater
Starling
More Rabbits
Primer
The Child Puts Apples into the Mouth of the Tree
Meltwater
The New Horticulture
Glacier
Apotropaei
In A Land Where Everything Is Trying To Kill Me, I Consider Letting It
The Sun, the Ship
Meltwater
At the End We Turn Into Trees
Glossary of What I’ll Miss
The New Fear
The New Language
Glacier
Meltwater
P
Deathbed Dream with Extinction List
If Anyone Asks
In Sorrow Thou Shalt Bring Forth Children
Poem With No Children In it
Meltwater
The Future
Meltwater
:
The Empty Universe
XYZ
Notes
Acknowledgments