Mindful Compassion: How the Science of Compassion Can Help You Understand Your Emotions, Live in the Present, and Connect Deeply with Others

by Paul Gilbert PhD, Choden

Overview

Are you ready to transform your mind and emotions? To cultivate compassion, stability, self-confidence, and well-being? If so, get ready to change the way you experience your life with this highly-anticipated approach using mindfulness and compassion.

Therapists have long been aware of mindfulness as a powerful attention skill that can help us live with greater clarity and awareness—but mindfulness alone is not enough to completely change the way a brain works. In order to fully thrive, we require motivation. Compassion, like anger or aggression, is an extremely powerful motivational force that can bring about real, lasting change.

Written by the founder of compassion-focused therapy (CFT), Paul Gilbert and former Buddhist monk, Choden, Mindful Compassion is a unique blending of evolutionary and Buddhist psychology. In this breakthrough book, you’ll learn how traditional mindfulness and compassion can work in harmony to offer a new, effective, and practical approach to overcoming everyday emotional and psychological problems.

If you are ready to end toxic self-criticism, heal trauma and shame, feel worthy and loveable, and be kinder to yourself and others, this book can show you the way.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781626250611
Publisher:	New Harbinger Publications
Publication date:	04/01/2014
Pages:	384
Sales rank:	980,473
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Paul Gilbert, PhD, is world renowned for his work on depression, shame, and self-criticism, and is developer of compassion-focused therapy (CFT). He is head of the mental health research unit at the University of Derby, and has authored or coauthored numerous scholarly articles and books, including The Compassionate Mind, Mindful Compassion, and Overcoming Depression.


Choden was a monk for seven years within the Tibetan Buddhist tradition, Choden (aka Sean McGovern) completed a three-year, three-month retreat in 1997 and has been a practicing Buddhist since 1985. He is originally from South Africa, where he trained as a lawyer and where he learned meditation under the guidance of Rob Nairn, an internationally renowned Buddhist teacher. He is now involved in developing secular mindfulness and compassion programs drawing upon the wisdom and methods of the Buddhist tradition, as well as contemporary insights from psychology and neuroscience. He is an honorary fellow of the University of Aberdeen and teaches on their postgraduate study program in mindfulness (MSc) that is the first of its kind to include compassion in its curriculum.

Table of Contents

Preface xi

Acknowledgments xix

Introduction 1

Training the Mind 2

Our Multiple Selves 4

Understanding the Mind 5

The Self We Might Choose 6

The Importance of Wisdom 7

The Lotus in the Mud 8

Key Points 9

Part I The Issues

1 Waking Up 13

The Four Noble Truths and Modem Psychology 16

Emergence and Interconnectedness 24

The Buddha's Story and Us 28

Key Points 30

2 Evolved Mind and Motivations 33

Understanding Our Origins-The Flow of Life 33

The Evolutionary Journey 34

The Consequences of Evolution for Mindful Compassion 36

Old and New Brains 38

The Problems with Humans Getting Smart 40

How the Brain Coordinates Itself 45

Motives Coordinate the Mind 46

Minds Full of Conflicts 48

The Affliction of Self-Identity 50

The Shamed Self 52

The Compassionate Self and Its Benefits 53

Bringing Our Story Together 55

Key Points 58

3 Emotional Systems 59

Problems with Emotions 60

Emotional Regulation Systems 62

Threat and Self-Protection System 64

Why the Threat System Gives Us a Hard Time 69

Drive and Resource-Seeking System 71

The Soothing/Affiliation System 78

All Want Love and to Be Loving 90

Key Points 91

4 Emergence of Compassion 93

What Is Compassion? 95

Healing: Definition of Compassion 97

The Attributes of Compassion: Engagement 106

Bringing the Attributes Together and the Emergence of Compassion 120

Skills of Compassion: Alleviation and Prevention 121

The Two Psychologies of Compassion: Bringing Them Together 128

Key Points 130

5 The Challenge of Mindfulness Practice 133

The Role of Mindfulness 134

Problems That Can Arise with Mindfulness 140

Mindfulness and Motives 140

Key Points 151

6 The Lotus in the Mud 153

Understanding How Compassion Can Be Undermined 155

Compromised Soothing/Affiliation System 156

Misunderstandings About the Nature of Compassion 157

Fears of and Resistances to Compassion 157

Fear of Happiness 160

Emotional Memory 161

Affiliation and Emotional Memory 162

Affiliation and Emotional Fusion 164

Affiliation and Anger 165

Affiliation and Slowing Down-In the Culture of Speeding Up 166

Psychology of Avoidance 168

The Story of Chenrezig 168

Compassion as Ascent to the Angelic? 171

Compassion as "Cleansing and Purifying" Inner Poisons 172

The Real Story of Compassion-Descent 174

Descent: Choden's Personal Journey 176

Descent and the Emergence of Compassion: The Beginning of New Life 178

Compassion and the Flow of Life 180

Key Points 181

Part II The Practices

Introduction: Compassionate Motivation 183

Outline of Practice Chapters 185

7 Mindfulness Practice 187

Recognizing the Unsettled Mind 187

Beginning to Work with Attention 190

Slowing Down and Settling 192

Opening Up to Our Senses 196

Single-Focus Attention and Open-Field Awareness 198

Grounding in the Body 199

Body Scan 200

Body Awareness and Compassion 203

Sitting Practice 205

Little and Often 211

Conclusion 211

Key Stages 212

8 Working with Acceptance 213

Habitual Reactions 213

Familiarization and Cultivation 214

Intention, Attention, and Acceptance 216

Experiential Acceptance 217

Two Psychologies of Compassion 220

How Do We Practice Acceptance? 221

Cultivating the Observer 229

Key Points 230

9 Building Compassionate Capacity 233

Compassion as Flow 234

Working with Imagery 236

No Clear Pictures 237

Safe Place 238

Compassionate Color 241

Compassionate Image 242

Recognizing Our Wish for Happiness 248

Key Points 250

10 The Compassionate Self 253

Cultivating Helpful Patterns 253

Imagining Our Compassionate Self 255

Method-Acting Techniques 256

The Qualities of Our Compassionate Self 257

Remembering Our Compassionate Self 262

Doing the Work of Compassion 263

Focusing Our Compassionate Self: Compassion for a Loved One 264

Focusing Our Compassionate Self: Compassion for Oneself 265

Self-Compassion Break 268

Working with the Anxious Self 268

Working with the Angry Self 270

Working with the Critical Self 272

Compassionate Behavior 275

Key Points 276

11 Widening Our Circle of Compassion 277

Four Limitless Contemplations 279

Practicing Compassion for Others 281

Dissolving and Equalizing "On the Spot" 289

Self-Preoccupation 290

Tonglen: Taking and Sending 291

Practicing Tonglen 293

Tonglen on the Spot 297

Conclusion 298

Key Points 299

Conclusion: The Compassionate Journey 301

Find Out More 305

Books 305

CDs 306

Websites 307

Notes 311

Interviews

Gilbert and Choden live in the UK.

Editorial Reviews

Altruistic love should ideally be a permanent state of mind, an unconditional wish that all beings may find happiness and the causes of happiness. It embraces all beings without exception. When altruistic love encounters suffering, it becomes compassion, which springs from the same benevolence, but more specifically wishes that beings may be free from suffering and from the many possible causes of suffering. Paul Gilbert and Choden’s Mindful Compassion is a precious and most welcome contribution toward bringing about a more compassionate society.”
—Matthieu Ricard, Buddhist monk and author of Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life’s Most Important Skill



“An inspiring book that will be deeply appreciated by many therapists, teachers, and those who come to them for help with their suffering. Gilbert is internationally recognized for his contribution to the understanding and treatment of emotional disorders. His genius is being able to bring compelling theory together with practical application. Choden is widely known as a wonderful teacher, deeply based on his own long practice of mindfulness. In this book they come together to offer us keys that can both unlock our understanding and motivate our practice—showing how mindfulness and compassion realize their deepest potential when cultivated together. A book full of wisdom that will be a wonderful resource for a whole generation.”
—Mark Williams, professor of clinical psychology at the University of Oxford and author of The Mindful Way through Depression and Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Finding Peace in a Frantic World



“This book is a brilliant synthesis of two grand psychological traditions—mindfulness and compassion. In clear, compelling prose, Gilbert and Choden illustrate how the human brain gets us into trouble time and time again. Then, they explain why we need both compassion and mindfulness to liberate ourselves from unnecessary suffering, and they offer elegant exercises to train the mind in those vital human capacities. Wise and hopeful, this landmark contribution to mindfulness literature is a modern reevaluation of human nature and the path to emotional freedom and cultural sanity.”
—Christopher Germer, PhD, clinical instructor at Harvard Medical School, author of The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion, and coeditor of Wisdom and Compassion in Psychotherapy


“Mindful Compassion is a perfect mix of heart and smart. Gilbert and Choden blend sensibilities from evolutionary science with practices derived from ancient spiritual traditions. Their book offers an alternative to the driven, competitive, and often destructive forces that shape the modern world. Mindful Compassion is soul-soothing science.”
—Kelly G. Wilson, PhD, associate professor of psychology at the University of Mississippi and coauthor of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy


“Packed full of useful resources for therapists and coaches, this book is for anyone interested in the links between evolutionary science, compassion, and mindfulness. It is especially of interest to those who wish to know more about Buddhist perspectives on mindfulness.”
—Russ Harris, author of The Happiness Trap


“The growing interaction between Western psychology and Buddhism has great significance to our contemporary understanding of what leads us to suffer in our lives and what can lead to happiness. In this book, Paul Gilbert and Choden create a rich blend of Buddhist and Western thinking around the importance of compassion at the heart of our lives and our emotional health. They offer invaluable insights into the way our minds creates our reality and how we can wake up to what leads to suffering and what can bring us happiness and peace of mind. Mindful Compassion is an illuminating, readable, and necessary background of Western and Buddhist understanding that will support and deepen the current application of mindfulness. It can also be a valuable resource for anyone wishing to deepen their own personal journey of awakening.”
—Rob Preece, author of The Wisdom of Imperfection and The Courage to Feel


“The wise and powerful lessons contained in this book hold many keys to our liberation from suffering. Reading the kind words of these authors, it feels as though the reader is receiving a direct, personal transmission from learned experts. Grounded in the state of the art of our science and steeped in the wisdom of Buddhist psychology, Mindful Compassion is often the first book I will recommend to people who seek to deepen their personal practice.”
—Dennis Tirch, PhD, adjunct assistant clinical professor at Weill Cornell Medical College and author of The Compassionate-Mind Guide to Overcoming Anxiety

From the Publisher