Ministry Proverbs: Lessons Learned for Leading Congregations

by N. Graham Standish

Overview

Wisdom through easy-to-grasp phrases.

Biblical and cultural proverbs have been cherished throughout the ages. One reason for their enduring influence is that they reveal deeper wisdom through easy-to-grasp phrases. They form our lives by offering wisdom we can hold onto and use in life’s most complex situations. In the increasingly complex world of modern ministry, it has become harder for pastors and church leaders to act wisely when the models for ministry keep changing.

Ministry Proverbs is a collection of 60 proverbs that the Rev. Dr. Graham Standish has developed over the years to guide his own ministry. These are proverbs such as “We are only responsible for our efforts. God is responsible for the results. So be responsible for your part, and let God be responsible for God’s part. Wisdom comes in learning to tell the difference.” Each proverb is followed by 4-6 paragraphs of reflection that take the reader deeper into the ramifications and applications of the proverb. The reflections are intended to help readers to apply the proverbs in their own ministries, and to remember them so that when they face a difficult or uncertain situation, they can tap into the wisdom.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780819232830
Publisher:	Morehouse Publishing
Publication date:	08/01/2016
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	144
File size:	332 KB

About the Author

N. Graham Standish has been pastor of Calvin Presbyterian Church in Zelienople, Pennsylvania since January of 1996. He is the author of six books including Becoming a Blessed Church (Alban 2005). Before becoming a pastor, he was a therapist. He has a PhD from Duquesne University in Spiritual Formation. Calvin Presbyterian Church was one of the congregations featured in Diana Butler Bass's Christianity for the Rest of Us; a member of the congregation actually gave the book its name when talking about the kind of Christianity they practice there.

Read an Excerpt

Ministry Proverbs

Lessons Learned for Leading Congregations

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By N. Graham Standish

Church Publishing Incorporated

Copyright © 2016 N. Graham Standish
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-8192-3283-0

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CHAPTER 1

Proverb 1.

We are only responsible for our efforts. God is responsible for the results. So be responsible for your part, and let God be responsible for God's part. Wisdom comes in learning to tell the difference.

WHAT IS YOUR PART IN MINISTRY? What's God's part? Do you confuse the two? Can you tell the difference?

I think that most of us in ministry, whether clergy or laity, confuse what we're responsible for and what God is responsible for. We tend to think everything is up to us, and that God is judging our efforts and results, as though success will open the pearly gates and failure will close them.

God only calls on us to do what we can — to give God our best efforts. Ultimately God is responsible for the results. If what we do is really trying to please God, to serve God, and to do what we sense God wants, it opens a conduit for God's grace to grow. I learned this lesson from the nineteenth-century Quaker mystic, Hannah Whitall Smith, who said,

To sum it all up, then, what is needed for happy and effectual service is simply to put your work into the Lord's hands, and leave it there. Do not take it to Him in prayer, saying, "Lord, guide me; Lord, give me wisdom; Lord, arrange it for me," and then rise from your knees, and take the burden all back and try to guide and arrange for yourself. Leave it with the Lord; and remember that what you trust to Him you must not worry over nor feel anxious about. Trust and worry cannot go together. If your work is a burden it is because you are not trusting it to Him. But if you do trust it to Him you will surely find that the yoke He puts on you is easy, and the burden He gives you to carry is light: and even in the midst of a life of ceaseless activity you shall "find rest to your soul."

God wants our churches to do well. God wants us to do well. But we can't let God do well in our midst if we're constantly taking responsibility for everything. So do what you do well, and let God do what God does well. And bathe your efforts in prayer, asking God what is God's part and what is ours.

CHAPTER 2

Proverb 2.

The secret to prayer is to pray specifically for what we want, but to accept faithfully what we get.

PRAYER IS HARD FOR MANY REASONS, but chief among them is that we don't know how specific we should get in prayer. To what extent should we pray fervently for what we want, and to what extent should we hedge our bets and only pray for what God wants? There's more in this question than meets the eye.

There are a number of reasons we're reluctant to pray specifically for what we want. What if we take a chance on praying for a specific need and God doesn't give us what we want? It feels like God is rejecting us. But is it really a rejection? Also, if we don't get what we pray for, does that confirm our doubts that God even exists? Better to play it safe and keep our fragile faith intact. What if it's wrong to ask for what we want? Will God be irritated with us? Is it greedy to ask for what we want? Isn't that putting ourselves in God's position to assume that we know what's best? It's obvious that praying specifically opens a big can of worms.

So, we don't typically pray with passion for healing. Instead we pray for God's presence and strength. We don't typically pray for God to help us financially. Instead we pray for God's help and wisdom. We don't typically pray for God to remove a thorn from our side. Instead, we pray for God to give us endurance. We hold back our prayers.

Still, if we hold back in prayer, what do we do with Jesus's teaching: "Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened" (Matthew 7:7–8)? Why would Jesus say this if he didn't mean it? The reality is that he says that we should pray specifically for what we want. In fact, we should pray passionately for what we want, whether it is for a job, healing, a relationship, financial help, or anything else. If you look in the Psalms, all of those prayers are passionate. That's our model.

Still, life is not really about God just giving us whatever we ask for. God isn't a genie in a lamp that we have to learn to rub just the right way to get what we want. We need to pray specifically for what we want, but also accept faithfully what God gives. This is a hard balance to keep. We want to be sure that if we pray specifically, we get what we specifically asked for. But that may not be God's will. We need to be sensitive enough to recognize how God may be answering our prayers. We may not get what we want, but generally we get what we need. So we need to passionately pray for what we want, and faithfully accept what we get.

This guidance isn't just for individuals. It is also for churches. Many churches and their members engage in pro forma prayers, going through the motions of praying, while secretly wondering if their prayers will be answered. They offer beautiful prayers — prayers that could be printed in books — but that doesn't mean their prayers are filled with faith. Churches should be rooted in a vibrant prayer that is filled with faith, which means praying specifically. These include prayers such as, "What are you calling us to budget for the following year?" and "How are you calling us to respond to this crisis?" It also means asking God to help us and our churches through financial distress. We need to pray passionately and often. But in the end, whether we are talking about churches or individuals, we need to accept the answers we receive: pray specifically for what we need, but accept faithfully what God gives in return.

Pray specifically. Accept faithfully.

CHAPTER 3

Proverb 3.

Don't try to keep disgruntled people in your church, keep the gruntled people. Disgruntled people spread disgruntlement like a virus. So let them go, and let them take their grunts with them.

EVERY CHURCH HAS MEMBERS who become disgruntled. They don't like new music. They don't like old music. They don't like the new pastor. They didn't like the old pastor. They don't like new technology. They don't like the failure to embrace technology. I once had a member who walked through the handshake line each Sunday and complained that we weren't playing the organ enough. Three people behind him came a woman who complained most Sundays that we weren't playing enough contemporary Christian music. How could I alleviate one member's disgruntlement without increasing the other's?

It's so easy to get caught up in trying to make disgruntled people happy — to make them "gruntled." But the truth is that most disgruntled people never find happiness once they start "disgrunting." In fact, they start complaining to everyone around them, trying to find compatriots and conspirators. Their attempts to get traction eventually become divisive, especially as they begin to pile on the "disgrunts," adding more and more criticisms to their list of complaints. We don't make them happier by constantly meeting with them and finding out what we can do to help them. We don't reduce their disgruntlement, either. We just give them more power.

Of course, this is assuming that that the disgruntled people are just disgruntled. If the whole church becomes disgruntled, we may have to consider the possibility that we've put the "dis" in their disgruntlement.

Ultimately, we want people in our churches who look for what's right, rather than what's wrong; who see what's there, rather than what's missing. These are the people who can build a healthy church. These are the ones others want to be around, and who ultimately are good at finding and being God's presence. They are the gruntled.

It can be tremendously painful to let disgruntled people go, especially if they've been friends, supporters, or even leaders. But if we are serious about creating a healthy church, letting them go can help a church become healthier. As one pastor said to me about the loss of a member and large contributor who did nothing but complain, "When he left, I thought the waves would crash all around. Instead, the waters calmed, and nobody complained that he was gone. We realized that we were much healthier without him. We could now grow."

CHAPTER 4

Proverb 4.

People seek surprise, not stagnation. So why do we so often offer stagnation rather than surprise in worship?

WHY, IN THE MAINLINE CHURCH, are we so scared of surprise? We try so hard to preserve what we've always done, and to sustain and maintain those who have always been there, that we ignore the human cry for surprise.

People crave surprise. I don't mean that we crave shock and startle. We like them only on special occasions, like riding roller coasters and watching horror flicks. What we crave are pleasant surprises that change our routines and give us new experiences and perspectives. You see the need for surprise everywhere. What makes dramas gripping? It's the fact that we don't know what is going to happen from scene to scene. Each scene starts out with something mundane, and ends up moving in a surprising direction. Then the ending gives us a whole new surprise as we find out who really murdered Mildred, who got voted onto the next round, whether they kissed, and whether or not the baby survived the surgery. What makes comedies funny is that the jokes are a pleasant surprise, as the familiar is twisted and taken in a whole new direction. Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9. (Say it out loud, you'll get it.)

Why do we love sports? Every game is a surprise. Why do we love travel? Every new vista is a new surprise. What makes our favorite songs favorites? First the melody catches us, then the bridge or refrain surprises us as the song is creatively transformed. Then, as we dig into the lyrics, we are surprised even more. Great art, literature, and even cartoons surprise us with fresh new perspectives that help us look at the world differently. So why do we choose stagnation over surprise in so much of our worship?

It's not as if everything must be a surprise. What makes pop songs popular is that they follow familiar formats, but then find ways to be surprising within that format. Detective shows always follow a consistent formula, but within that formula are multiple surprises. James Bond films always follow the same plot, but it's how he's going to escape that captures us. It's the interplay of the mundane and the imaginative that catches us. We don't have to make everything in worship a surprise. But the familiar needs to be laced with surprises.

For instance, does the sermon always follow the same structure? Aren't there ways to freshen it up with surprising new elements — throwing a baseball around to talk about the need to catch the Spirit; showing a picture of a Picasso painting to demonstrate how our perspectives on God can be a jumble; giving everyone an envelope with a special message from God ("I love you!") to be opened at the end of the sermon? Can't we vary the music so that there is a variety — not just one kind: either classical or contemporary? What if the church gave out balloons on Pentecost, just as we hand out palms on Palm Sunday? One reason people love Christmas and Easter so much is that there are surprises. The music is familiar yet different. The flowers make everything different, as do the candles and the way we dress.

The point is that often our worship lacks surprise, and so our churches lack surprise. And when they do, is it any surprise that people don't show up?

CHAPTER 5

Proverb 5.

Be like water in your leadership, not like lava. When we are like water, we overcome all obstacles, but when we are like lava we become obstacles.

TOO OFTEN, WHEN CHURCH LEADERS hit an obstacle, they start leading like lava rather than like water. What's the difference? I want you to imagine that you are watching a stream of lava flowing down a mountain as it hits a deep trench, rimmed by massive boulders. The lava gets stuck. It can't flow over it, around it, or push it away. What happens to the lava? It cools, hardens, and becomes more rock — it builds a bigger obstacle.

In many ways too many church leaders and their churches become like hardened lava when they face problems. Every church encounters obstacles. Unfortunately, many church leaders, obsessed with the obstacles, keep pushing against the obstacle and stop momentum. When that happens they become like lava — cooling, hardening, and become obstacles themselves. For example, the church leaders may decide to replace the carpet in the sanctuary but end up divided over the cost, color, and kind of carpet to buy. The division becomes the obstacle, and both sides become so obsessed with their proposals that the church never moves forward. Each side freezes (which is what the hardening of lava really is), and if a pastor decides to resolve the decision by deciding, she or he becomes like lava too.

Pastors also become like lava when they become obsessed with a lack of passion among members or low attendance for programs, criticizing leaders for not doing enough. Members can become obsessed with pastors not performing better or staff not doing enough to grow the church. Whatever the issue, they all become like lava, hardening to the point where they create ever-bigger obstacles. And the red-hot anger that accompanies their frustration can make things worse, as those who try to intervene get burned.

Good leaders lead like water. Imagine that same mountain with a spring snowmelt flowing down its side. The water hits that same obstacle, but it doesn't stay put. No matter how big the obstacle is, the water either flows over it, around it, or it eventually erodes. Like water, when leaders encounter a division, they find new avenues to help members depolarize. Or they find alternatives that create new possibilities. Or they allow time to erode passions so that they can return to resolving the issues at a later time. For example, when faced with division over carpeting, they may overcome the problem by bringing parties together, emphasizing the idea that what decision is made isn't as important as how it is made. They emphasize relationships over results and encourage members to overcome their divisions. Or they may flow around the problem by looking for an alternative that brings members together. They may also decide to erode the problem by putting the issue aside for a time until dire need creates a better environment for cooperation.

Pastors who lead like water always look for possibilities and alternatives when they encounter obstacles. They don't become frozen, but let the obstacles help them become more creative in creating solutions. Obstacles become opportunities to create new rivers of ministry and mission.

CHAPTER 6

Proverb 6.

When trying to transform a church, the most important thing is making people feel safe. If they don't feel safe, they will resist and growl. But if they feel safe, they will follow and grow.

THE REALITY IS THAT MANY, if not most, churches fear change. They want the church to be a stable point, an anchor, in a rapidly changing world. They face changes constantly at work, whether it's the demands of overbearing bosses, a competitive workplace, a cutthroat marketplace, the withering of grants and funding, or the fact that coworkers come and go. They face changes at home, whether it is the moving of children through different stages, marriages through different phases, or the chapters of life through different pages. Their health changes, their hair changes, their bodies change, their homes change, technology changes, music changes, their lives change. There are so many changes in life that it is hard to keep up. For example, the same people who used to be on the cutting edge of technology in college, having the best turntable and speakers, now feel intimidated by their phones.

(Continues...)

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Excerpted from Ministry Proverbs by N. Graham Standish. Copyright © 2016 N. Graham Standish. Excerpted by permission of Church Publishing Incorporated.
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