Miracle at Midlife: A Transatlantic Romance

by Roni Beth Tower

Overview

2017 Gold Medal IPPY Award in Autobiography/Memoir
They first meet in Paris in the spring of 1996. David is a divorced American attorney living on a converted barge moored on the banks of the Seine; Roni Beth is an empty-nested clinical and research psychologist working from her home in Connecticut. Now in their fifties, both have signed off on loving again—until they meet each other.
Miracle at Midlife tells the inspiring story of Roni Beth and David’s intense and transformative transatlantic courtship. Along the way, David the loner, living amid the beauty, freedom, and pleasures of Paris, brings Roni Beth, a responsible and overextended professional haunted by earlier loss and trauma, back to her core as a woman, while she helps him reclaim connections that tie him to a larger world. They wrestle internal demons (mostly hers) and external threats (friends, family and different perspectives) as they share adventures in their respective worlds. Throughout their journey, stories of courage, joy and integrity bring hope and delight to those who wonder how romantic love appears and evolves; inspiration to people in mid-life who, knowingly or unknowingly, have completed a chapter in their lives and are ready to move on; and comfort to anyone who longs to wrestle and conquer the demons of fear, born of history or of the unknown, and win. Testimony that love is real.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781631521249
Publisher:	She Writes Press
Publication date:	10/25/2016
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
File size:	4 MB

About the Author

Roni Beth Tower grew up in Akron, Ohio, majored in religion at Barnard College, and earned her doctoral degree in clinical psychology from Yale University. Later in life she taught clinical psychology to graduate students at Teachers College, Columbia University. As a psychologist, she published seventeen articles in peer-reviewed scientific journals, six book chapters, three entries in Blackwell’s The Encyclopedic Dictionary of Psychology, work for hire in three books edited by Mark Levine and Stephen Pollan, and one book review; presented her work at national and international professional conferences; was President of American Association for the Study of Mental Imagery and on the boards of Connecticut Psychological Association and Yale Alumni Fund. Miracles at Midlife is her first memoir. She and her husband live in Tarrytown, New York, within easy visiting distance of their six grandchildren. She loves yoga, dance, quilting, and bringing comfort and joy to people.

Table of Contents

Prologue 1

Part I Destiny Delivered to the Doorstep 3

Chapter 1 Arrival 5

Chapter 2 Encounter 16

Chapter 3 Learning More 32

Chapter 4 What Now? 48

Chapter 5 Courtship 69

Part II Getting to Know You: Who Is This Man? 77

Chapter 6 Home Again 79

Chapter 7 Rethinking 94

Chapter 8 August in (North) America 100

Chapter 9 Culture Clash 110

Chapter 10 Negotiating Differences 125

Part III Family, Friends, and More Friends 131

Chapter 11 Our Connected World Expands 133

Chapter 12 Growing Inside and Out 148

Part IV Expansion of Self and Other 165

Chapter 13 Celebration 167

Chapter 14 Ambivalence 176

Chapter 15 Playtime for My Inner Child 192

Part V Decisions 201

Chapter 16 Invitation 203

Chapter 17 Responsibility 220

Chapter 18 Transitions and Possibilities 234

Part VI Squirrels Crossing Utility Wires 245

Chapter 19 Formalities 247

Chapter 20 Saying Goodbye 258

Chapter 21 Closing Doors 267

Chapter 22 A Hug Worth Waiting For 272

Postscript 278

Editorial Reviews

10/10/2016
In March 1996, Tower, a thrice-married psychologist and mother in her 50s, traveled from Connecticut to Paris and unexpectedly met and fell for David, a successful lawyer of about the same age. Tower writes expansively, honestly, and joyfully about their year of courting over six time zones. It’s full of blissful moments as well as the struggles that come with being part of a couple again after loss, divorces, and years of independence. Theirs was a largely epistolary relationship, and since email wasn’t yet commonplace, much of their communication was by fax and letters. David was American and had sons in the U.S. but had called Paris home for decades, living on a houseboat and adopting a French sensibility. Tower had a very ordered existence in Connecticut, juggling patients, writing articles, and attending conferences while maintaining a full social calendar with her children and friends. In addition, David is the sort of person who wants to drive the car, only sharing his thoughts and feelings when he decides to; Tower is deliberative and analytical and always needs to talk out her feelings. In spite of what looked on paper like a union that wouldn’t work, their connection grew as they happily learned how to fit into each other’s worlds. This is a thoughtful chronicle of taking risks and overcoming fears that offers readers hope of experiencing love later in life. (Oct.)

Publishers Weekly

A wonderful, thoughtful and inspiring story of love and courage—the kind of tale that teaches us to take chances, and that we CAN overcome our own obstacles. ”
—Betsy Stone, PhD, clinical psychologist and author of Happily Ever After

“Roni Beth Tower shares her journey through life with wit, warmth, and insight. Miracle at Midlife is written with an eye for detail and for the ability to make the reader feel like a participant in this adventure. Following a romantic meeting in Paris, the author describes events that involve two continents. Subsequently, she was able to overcome many obstacles, and to reinvent herself as someone open to love and affection.”
—Dorothy and Jerome L. Singer, Yale University

“Miracle at Midlife is an honest, thoughtful and authentic memoir about a real love affair, in which the intimacies, conflicts, misunderstandings and resolutions of new love are explored. Roni Beth Tower writes with a compelling command of psychological process and insight, while ably injecting humor in the story of her transatlantic romance.”
—Jeanne Bodin, author of We, the American Women and Women Who Work

“Miracle at Midlife is a captivating memoir of a courageous woman’s physical and emotional journey from Connecticut to Paris, where a sometimes challenging love affair awaits. Roni Beth Tower’s vividly detailed story is candid and insightful about the joys of finding love in middle age, and the resilience required to voyage down new paths to personal fulfillment. Drawing on her experience as a clinical psychologist, she describes the passionate attraction that moves both lovers to modify and unite their lives. Tower’s gifts of lyrical language, emotional resonance, and psychological sensitivity offer a memorable narrative about achieving happiness at any age."
—Sybil Steinberg, Former Forecasts Editor, Publishers Weekly

“Conquering the dual challenges of parenting herself as well as her adult children, Roni Beth Tower lives her transatlantic romance with consciousness and insight, as she decides to leave the safe shore of her home in Connecticut to create a new life with a man she meets in Paris when she is in her early 50's. Miracle at Midlife is a classic love story set in modern times that draws on the author's background as a psychologist as well as her wisdom as a woman. It is also a wonderful and moving story that will inspire everyone who reads it."
—Shefali Tsabary, PhD, New York Times bestselling author and clinical psychologist

“Roni Beth Tower’s Miracle at Midlife transports the reader across time and the Atlantic to the sights, tastes, and heady romance of Paris. Through a meeting of the minds, and with great passion, Roni rebirths herself and finds her soul mate. Her journey is at once moving, humorous, candid, and a gift."
—Traci Stein, PhD, MPH, integrative medicine expert and award-winning author of The Everything Guide to Integrative Pain Management

“A wonderful story (that) needed to be told… demonstrates triumph for all of us who aspire, regardless of our age or doubts, and is a reminder to take life by the coat tails and fly. Miracle at Midlife by Roni Beth Tower, is a testimonial to pursuing a passion, to doing, completing, persevering, and to embracing life."
—Camille Mancuso, Chatterbox column, Bucks County Herald

“REMARKABLE! Roni Beth Tower starts with that most romantic ideal—an unexpected romantic encounter in Paris—and completely rediscovers and re-creates her own life as a result. In prose both literary and analytic, she glides us through this whirlwind courtship, which upends not only her own life, but that of many around her. Throughout this remarkable life transformation, Roni Beth remains a clear-eyed observer of this phenomenal occurrence, the chance for not just love, but a bold new chapter in one's own life story. A thrilling story from beginning to end, one that reads like a beautiful novel."
—Jack Thomas, Broadway Producer

“Roni Beth Tower shares a remarkable story about the renewal of hope after loss, and the elegance of destiny in love. Beautifully crafted and narrated, her story will captivate the senses and awaken the reader to the power of living with courage, vulnerability and most of all integrity."
—Jennifer Lee, PhD, Clinical Psychologist & Co-Author of Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy for Anxious Children

“A page-turner from beginning to end, Roni Beth Tower’s remarkable memoir, Miracle at Midlife: A Transatlantic Romance, offers the reader a chance to experience both the sexual intensity of the romance novel and a clinician’s clear-eyed insights into the difficulties besetting many a cross-cultural relationship. The author would have it that we do not fall in love; rather we remove the obstacles to being in love. And the obstacles are everywhere! From contradictory styles of interaction to differing styles of parenting adult children and managing complex professional and social lives. This Francophile couldn’t put it down. Highly recommended."
—Barbara Bracht Donsky, author of Veronica’s Grave

"Miracle at Midlife, a memoir, tells the inspiring tale of finding love after all hope is lost. Roni Beth and David are far past the point of searching for love, until it finds them. Both struggle with internal demons and threats to their relationship, but their love is a testimony that it is never too late for a second chance at finding true happiness. Romantic and real."
—Inside Chic

"[Tower] writes expansively, honestly, and joyfully [of the] blissful moments as well as the struggles that come with being part of a couple again after loss, divorces, and years of independence. . . . This is a thoughtful chronicle of taking risks and overcoming fears that offers readers hope of experiencing love later in life."
—Publishers Weekly

"An insightful and introspective account."
—Akron Beacon Journal

"An honest and inspiring journey. The poignant and memorable journey of their transatlantic romance will have readers of all ages hunting for their passport and planning an adventure to the city of love."
—Buzzfeed

“She’s haunted by past loss and trauma in her life and she’s an overextended professional. [This is] a story about the renewal of hope after loss.”
—2014 and Beyond

"Her journey felt like a dance or a song. Her history and daily life were the background music, the constant throughout the story, while her relationship with David was the back and forth, the push and pull of the music that kept you wanting more."
—Midwest Ladies Who Lit

“Makes you think about how one person that you meet on the street could become your soul mate, it's truly the perfect love story. You could feel the emotions from Roni Beth from the time she meet David to where their future was headed. This book goes to prove that you have to take that leap of faith in order to find true love!!"
—Holly Flora, Country Girl Bookaholic

“An inspiring and authentic love story. Through times of joy and hardship, the couple’s pure devotion to each other shines through in Tower’s effectively emotional writing. This moving memoir will bring hope and comfort to those who wonder how romance appears and evolves as we grow older.”
—Westchester Magazine

"Her background as a psychologist makes Dr. Tower uniquely qualified to reflect on internal experience, interpersonal dynamics, and challenging choices. A passionate midlife love story will appeal to educated members of the Silent Generation, Baby Boomers, and Gen X-ers who came of age before rap music became the default for radio stations and MTV changed our experience of music forever. The National Center for Education Statistics counted over 30% of this portion of the US population in 2012 as college graduates – that is, over 94 million Americans."
—24symbols.com

"Fabulous Things: Top 5 Winter Reads: A memoir of raw and real romance, David and Roni, both in their fifties had signed off on love – that is, until they meet each other. A transatlantic tale set in Paris and Connecticut, this memoir is uplifting, inspiring and heart-warming. It tells a relatable story about overcoming personal demons and threats, courage, joy and integrity. A romantic autobiography, you’ll love reading this for its emotional honesty."
—blackpepper.com.au

From the Publisher