Mommy Memoirs: A Hilarious and Heartwarming Look at the Trials and Triumphs of Being a Mom
234Mommy Memoirs: A Hilarious and Heartwarming Look at the Trials and Triumphs of Being a Mom
234Hardcover
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Overview
Ann takes you step-by-step through her own adventures, from realizing her ob-gyn went to her church and finding out she was pregnant with her first to her hysterectomy, launching her youngest off to college, and facing the dreaded empty nest with bucket list in hand—and everything in between—she leaves few stones unturned.
Her transparency gives you permission to admit to your own imperfections and laugh with her as you recognize yourself in the tales she tells. Learn from her mistakes and rejoice with her as she sees God’s hand of blessing in her life as a wife and mother!
You will appreciate the short stories that can be devoured quickly and the humor she brings to each situation in turn. You will come away with the reminder to take yourself less seriously and enjoy a good laugh every day. However, have a box of tissues on hand as well.
Many of us have “been there and done that.” Enjoy Ann’s memories of her mommy moments! Come be reminded of what an honor and privilege it is to partner with God in the best career out there—being a mom!
Product Details
ISBN-13: | 9781614488965 |
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Publisher: | Morgan James Publishing |
Publication date: | 02/01/2014 |
Series: | Morgan James Faith Series |
Pages: | 234 |
Product dimensions: | 7.30(w) x 11.20(h) x 1.00(d) |
About the Author
Ann Van De Water is a mom to three grown sons and a grandmother of two. A certified parenting coach, she has taught parenting and marriage courses in Western New York and has been interviewed on Christian radio several times. She is a speaker for MOPS groups and was a featured writer in The Buffalo News.
Read an Excerpt
I was mortified, but strangely excited at the same time about going to my first appointment with an OB when I realized I was finally pregnant after waiting four years to have a baby. Granted, I actually had to pay him to see me naked, but suddenly it all seemed so much more acceptable, being on the table (in THAT position and all), since I was “doing it for the baby!”
However, I never anticipated the jolt of that Sunday morning. “That’s my OB-Gyn!” I whispered carefully after he was out of ear-shot. “Oh-my-gosh! I can’t believe he goes here! You don’t suppose he recognized me…seeing as how I’m dressed and all. Do you think?!”
Flash forward: I had a nightmare a month later: I dreamt that his office was in our church and they put a reminder of my annual in the bulletin one Sunday. The head usher was the receptionist and the worship team sang praises when my mammogram came back normal. Am I normal? Does every woman go through these kinds of anxiety issues? I think I’m going to be ex-communicated!
Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION: “I Want to be the Perfect Mom”1 My OB-Gyn. Goes To My Church
2 Braxton Hicks: Is That A Department Store?
3 Cabbage Rolls and Comedies
4 Look At The Mess You Made
5 What, No Instruction Manual?
6 He Is So A Newborn
7 Bawling With The Baby
8 Afternoon Delight Or Not
9 Smack Him Again And Put Him Back
10 I Have A Hegg-ache!
11 A Forehead Embedded With Broccoli
12 A Light Snack And Ipecac
13 The Cousins And The Cornmeal
14 You Haven’t Lived Until You’ve Experienced Projectile Vomiting
15 Marky Ate It (Proof Of The Existence Of Original Sin)
16 Do Worms Have Tonsils? And Other Earth Shattering Questions
17 “Letting Down” In Public
18 Pink Gorillas And The Fountain Of Youth
19 Creamed Herring, Gun Cleaning Solvent And An Easter Lily
20 A Broken Ankle And Humble Pie
21 Another Dangly: God Is In Control
22 The Vacation From Hell
23 A Book, A Bowl, A Wooden Spoon And A Tape Deck
24 Leftovers For Hubby
25 My Little Spaceman
26 Your Boss Saw My Dirty Underwear
27 Fake Teeth And Eyeball Divots
28 Remaking The Bed
29 I Love You This Much And Even More
30 I Know What You Did
31 Boys Will Be Boys
32 The Daddy Toll Booth
33 A No-Thank-You Helping And Clean Bread
34 I’m Going to Kill You And Other Words You Can’t Take Back
35 I Want To Change My Name (Time Out For Mommy)
36 The Farm In Pennsylvania
37 There Was A Forest On Our Lawn And Now A Fireman Is In Our Den
38 Marshmallow Wars (The Soft Side Of Healthy Aggression)
39 String Bean Battles (The Art Of Not Taking Yourself Too Seriously)
40 Sundaes For Dinner On Tuesday?
41 A Ringside Seat At The Van De Water-RK Boxing Match
42 Spider Webs And Alka Seltzers
43 That Didn’t Hurt! (The Fine Line Between Discipline And Abuse)
44 That Hurt (The Trials Of Being A Sports Mom)
45 Deer Hearts For Science Smarts
46 The LEGO Prince And His Mom
47 Hockey Shots Before The Bus Stops
48 My Mother, My Mentor
49 I Wanna Be Like My Daddy
50 I’m Cold So Put On A Coat
51 My Face Behind The Sponge And My Butt In A Shopping Cart
52 They’re Called Chores For A Reason
53 What Part Of “NO” Don’t You Understand?
54 The Front Of The Bus, The Top Of The Class
55 A Race Around The Pond To Make The Bus
56 Momma Bear And The Shifty Chaperone
57 Too Little Time To Just Be A Kid
58 Just Wait Until They Hit High School
59 Please Don’t “Woo-Hoo” At My Concert
60 Your Mother’s Wearing A Banana On Her Head
61 No One Can Fill Your Shoes Or Find Them
62 Ben-Meister: The Trouble With Nicknames
63 All I Want Is Loving You And Music, Music, Music
64 Full Circle In Colorado Springs
65 The Food Inspector General
66 Passing The Baton
67 Leaving His Mark
68 A Tearful Farewell
69 Hamburg Honey From Ben’s Bees
70 A Long Overdue Note Of Thanks
71 The Three Musketeers (The Importance Of Brother Bonds)
72 Advice From The Bros: Never Drive With Mom
73 Measuring Up
74 No Thank You TV
75 The Supermarket Flyer Ad In Song And Spanglish To Make Us Cringe
76 Take It All In Before They’re All Gone
77 Fear Factor In Real Life
78 Sometimes The NO Is As Important As The YES
79 Hugs At The Kitchen Sink
80 A Ring Bouquet At Sunrise And I Love You Because
81 In Three Weeks, In California, Go Buy a Dress
82 All I Want Is Loving You and Music, Music, Music (The Reprise)
83 Uterus-less In Buffalo (The Finality Of It All)
84 CONCLUSION: Nobody’s Perfect
A MOTHER’S MEMORIES, Precious Pictures
About The Author