More: How to Move from Activity for God to Intimacy with God
224
More: How to Move from Activity for God to Intimacy with God
224eBook
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Overview
We start out with hearts brimming with hope and excitement. And that energy carries us for awhile, maybe even years. But one day we suddenly find ourselves like the man in the Good Samaritan story: half-dead, going through the dreaded motions hoping no one around us notices.
It’s not that we’ve stopped loving God, but it’s just that things have happened along the way that have caused us to settle for a small life, one defined primarily by activity for God. We look around and sigh: It wasn’t supposed to be this way.
Author Greg Hawkins knows that reality firsthand. He also knows there is something beyond that reality if we have the courage to step out and hope once more. Far from giving us simply more stuff to do, Greg shares the necessary and doable shifts in our thought and language that lead to true intimacy with God.
It wasn’t supposed to be this way.
Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781601428639 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | Random House Publishing Group |
| Publication date: | 08/02/2016 |
| Sold by: | Random House |
| Format: | eBook |
| Pages: | 224 |
| File size: | 3 MB |
About the Author
Read an Excerpt
You know, it wasn’t supposed to be this way.”
It should have been a happy moment, and in many ways it was, until the truth set in. My fiancée, Lynn, and I were meeting with our pastor and friend Jim. We were with him for premarital counseling before our upcoming wedding and had talked about what marriage meant and what our expectations were for the marriage. Eventually the conversation turned to the ceremony itself.
We were going to be married in a charming 120-year-old Methodist church near my wife’s hometown in the far west suburbs of Chicago. Jim would be sharing the responsibility of the service with the pastor of that church. As part of the discussion about the ceremony, Jim asked Lynn whom she had chosen to walk her down the aisle. Normally that’s a fairly straightforward question, but Lynn’s father had passed away nine years earlier when she was twenty. Lynn, without hesitation, calmly said, “No one.”
“Certainly you have an uncle or family friend or a friend of yours who could walk you down the aisle?” he asked.
“No,” she answered resolutely. “I’m going to walk by myself.”
Jim tried one more time to talk her out of it, but she was adamant. “No, I’m going to go alone.”
I’ll never forget what happened next. Jim leaned forward, looked her square in the eye, and with a voice full of compassion said, “You know, it wasn’t supposed to be this way.”
In the silence that followed we all recognized the truth that was in the room, and we all started crying. Tears came down our faces, and we wept silently because what he said was so incredibly true. The three of us just sat in silence, letting the gravity of the statement sink in.
It really wasn’t supposed to be this way. When she was a little girl she imagined this special day when she would walk down the aisle with her father proudly at her side. He was supposed to be there for the most important day of her life. It wasn’t supposed to be this way.
Two months later when she turned the corner in the back of the church and started walking down the aisle looking stunningly beautiful, it became very clear to me, and to everyone else, that she was not walking alone—that her father in some way was very much with her. Her decision to walk by herself honored him so powerfully because his absence made us all aware of his presence. She had reserved that spot once and forever just for her father. No other man would ever take that place, ever. That day she paid tribute to all that her father had done for her, all the words of love, blessing, and belief he had conveyed to her in twenty short years. It was a beautiful thing yet painful at the same time.
It wasn’t supposed to be this way.
That phrase hit me hard that day and has stayed with me for over twenty years. Its truth has extended beyond our marriage ceremony and caused me to reflect on how life itself was supposed to be. When I reflect on my own life—working at a marriage, having three children, doing my best to raise them right, getting up every day, going to work, working hard, being exhausted at some point every week, buying cars and homes, repairing roofs, paying bills, facing any number of struggles—I ask, is this how life was supposed to be?
Deep down in the private corners of our souls, we all ask that question, don’t we? And if we’re honest, most of us at one time or another feel that no, it wasn’t supposed to be this way. Something is just a little, or a lot, off. Why are the relationships with the people I love the most so difficult? Why am I working harder and longer hours today than I did twenty years ago? Why do I struggle financially? Why didn’t I get the promotion instead of the person with a whole lot less experience in the next office? Why did I get cancer, while others who seemingly neglect their bodies are cancer free? It seems that despite trying to do all the right things, life isn’t turning out the way I thought it would.
Then I look at the world around us. The world in which our children will grow up. Conflicts and war, epidemics, terrorist attacks, collapsing economies, a giant gap between those who have and those who do not. It doesn’t feel like God is winning at all. Is this really how it was supposed to be? I don’t know about you, but too often I find myself thinking things will never get better in the world, which gives me an excuse to focus only on my own needs. Sure, I want a better life for everyone, but I can barely provide enough well-being for my own life, let alone do anything for the rest of the world.
Surely this is not the way it’s supposed to be, right?
As a pastor, that question haunts me even more when it comes to matters of faith—for myself and for my congregation. When I look at all we do in the church—produce worship services, teach classes to the young and old, connect people in small groups, pray with those in need, organize serving experiences—I constantly wonder to myself, Is this the way church is supposed to be?
Think about your own experience. You go to church most Sundays (well, at least once a month). You pray. You read your Bible now and then. Maybe you’re in a small group or even lead one. You volunteer to work with the children’s ministry. Maybe you have gone on a mission trip to Guatemala. And all these things are good. Really good.
We do all these good things because we believe they will make us better people, give us better lives, bring us closer to God, and maybe even help others. And in many ways, they do. But if you are being honest with yourself, deep down, you want to believe there is more. You reflect on your relationship with God and wonder, Is this how a relationship with God is supposed to feel? And truthfully, you have gone beyond wondering if there is more to actually wanting more. And not just a little more. You want everything that Jesus promised when He said, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10).
So you do all you know to do. You participate in even more activities at church or maybe look for a new church altogether. You find yourself spending more time in prayer and reading your Bible. And that seems to help, for a while. But then at some point, despite all that you are doing, you reach a plateau well short of your heart’s desire. And you wonder all over again if this is all there is.
And then eventually, something awful happens. Little by little you start believing that more is not possible, and this is exactly how it was supposed to be. You convince yourself that good enough is, well, good enough. You remember that Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble” (John 16:33) and resign yourself to the belief that the “full life” Jesus spoke about is not possible, nor intended, here on earth.
My sense is that some people get to this place in life and then, figuratively speaking, just hold their breath, hoping they have enough air to get to the very end. Hoping they can ignore their suspicion that there is more to life than what they are experiencing. They settle for the way things are, while they wait for their last real breath and ascension to heaven.
That’s okay. I want to go to heaven too, but I’m not satisfied that earthly life for a Christian is just a long wait for heaven. I want more, and I want it now. And I think you do too.
I’m writing this book because I believe with all my being that each of us can experience the more that God has for us right here, right now. I don’t have a magic formula or a set of ten easy steps that will improve your life. You’ve likely tried those and found them as hollow as I have. But in God’s perfect timing and sovereignty, my own search for “more” coincided with some astonishing discoveries that came when a small team and I asked the Willow Creek Community Church congregation—and then over a thousand other congregations—to tell us the truth about their spiritual lives. It was not exactly the truth we were looking for, and it wasn’t always easy to hear, but it created a profound shift in my thinking and has redirected the entire course of my life. I know more is possible right now, and on the following pages I will share with you what God has revealed to me through research, the Scriptures, and the stories of my friends about how a life of more actually works. Do I have it all figured out? No—and there is a real chance I have it all wrong. But I don’t want to live any other way, and I suspect you don’t either.
Despite the absence of Lynn’s father at our wedding, it was a beautiful ceremony. She turned what could have been a reminder of his absence into a tribute to the special place he occupies in her life. It wasn’t easy for her, and she would be the first to say she would have rather not walked alone down the aisle. But she made do. We all do. We’ve learned that when things don’t work out the way we hoped, we make the best of it, and usually that’s a good thing. Except where God is concerned. He did not invite us into a relationship so that we could just make do but so that we could experience more.
It took me a long time to learn that.
Reflect
You let the world, which doesn’t know the first thing about living, tell you how to live. (Ephesians 2:2, msg)
On a scale of 1 (very unsatisfied) to 10 (very satisfied), how satisfied are you with your life right now? Does it feel like you are living a full life or just a busy one?
Table of Contents
Foreword Max Lucado xiii
Part 1
1 The Desire for More 3
2 A Search for More 13
3 The Stunning Breakthrough 33
4 The Way It's Supposed to Be 49
Part 2
5 From Inside to Outside 65
6 From Me to We 91
7 From Head to Heart 115
8 From Closed to Open 135
9 From Full to Empty 155
10 From Next to Now 171
11 Press Start for More 193
Acknowledgments 205
Interviews
Q&A with Greg L. Hawkins
Q1) When you use the term "more" in regards to the Christian life, what do you mean?
Based on research I've been involved with for over a decade, it's a fact that the majority of Christians long for more from their church and more from God. They hope their efforts at spiritual growth will lead to knowing God at a deeper level and result in a life filled with peace, joy and purpose. Unfortunately, many of them give up this pursuit, finding the variety of activities they are doing for God is not delivering the outcomes they hoped for. Instead, they turn their gaze toward heaven and wait for that fuller life on the other side.
Q2) Can you briefly tell us about the research project you were a part of that led to your discovery of a life of more?
Beginning in 2004, we started surveying church attenders in over 2,000 congregations, representing a wide cross-section of church sizes, denominations, and regions of the country, to understand how people grow spiritually and what role the church plays in their growth. We heard from over 500,000 people and discovered breakthrough insights into the stages of spiritual development, how people move from one stage to the next and what churches can do to help people grow.
Q3) What was the "ah-ha" for you after studying a half-million church goers?
The biggest insight was discovering the spiritual life was not about becoming increasingly better as a person, but it was about growing increasingly closer to God. And growing closer to God means becoming increasingly intimate with God; more intimate than any of our human relationships. This, I believe, is how God wants to relate with all of us. With that insight as our base, we learned how someone actually becomes more intimate with God and it is those discoveries which have formed the basis for this book.
Q4) What was different about the lives of a subset of people in your research?
We found a group of people in the research who were experiencing very high levels of peace, joy, patience and a real sense of purpose. These individuals also had very high levels of love for God and others. They seemed to be experiencing more from life. By studying this subset of people and reflecting on the truths of the Bible, patterns emerged that instruct the rest of us how to have this "life of more" right now.
Q5) You suggest there is a group of people who experience "more" and others can have that same experience with shifts in their thinking. What shifts are required?
After studying the group "living a life of more", six patterns emerged pointing to several shifts in both how this group thinks and acts. For example, one critical question to answer every day is "Where do you want to live?" Do you want to live in your own kingdom, where you are in charge, taking care of the details of your life, with some help from God, or do you shift your thinking and decide to live in God's Kingdom, where you surrender your own agenda and let God be God over all aspects of your life.
Q6) What is the outcome from making some changes in thinking?
Changes in thinking lead to changes in behavior, which result in real transformation. Ultimately, by choosing to shift not only your thinking, but your behavior as well, you begin to experience life as it was meant to be lived, right now.
Q7) How have you integrated these shifts in your life? What is an example of the outcome from a change you made?
I have wrestled with the findings from the research for over a decade and have worked daily for the past four years to incorporate the six key shifts into my life. One change I have been very aware of is how I have gone from being a person who most mornings woke up with a chronic sense of anxiety despite having a devoted relationship with God, to becoming a person who greets most every day with a sense of adventure, looking forward to doing the day with God. Somewhere over the past few years anxiety just melted away and a deep feeling of joy has taken its place.