Mourning and Mitzvah (25th Anniversary Edition): A Guided Journal for Walking the Mourner's Path Through Grief to Healing

by Anne Brener

Overview

Fully revised with a new author's preface, epilogue, and over a dozen new guided exercises, Anne Brener brings us an innovative integration of Jewish tradition and modern professional resources in this 25th anniversary edition of a modern classic.

Mourning&Mitzvah gives spiritual insight and healing wisdom to those who mourn a death, to those who would help them, and to those who face a loss of any kind Mourning&Mitzvah teaches you the power and strength available to you in the fully experienced mourning process.

When the temple stood in the ancient city of Jerusalem, mourners walked through the gates and into the courtyard along a specifically designated mourner’s path. As they walked, they came face to face with all the other members of the community, who greeted them with the ancestor of the blessing, “May God comfort you among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.” In this way, the community embraced those suffering bereavement, yet allowed for unique experiences of grief.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781683366751
Publisher:	Turner Publishing Company
Publication date:	08/22/2017
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Sales rank:	793,697
File size:	2 MB

About the Author

Rabbi Anne Brener, LCSW, is a psychotherapist, spiritual director, and frequent “scholar-in—residence” across the United States and internationally. Her work focuses particularly on the issues of grief, mourning, spirituality and healing, She works with congregations to help create caring communities, lectures on the therapeutic impact of Jewish ritual and practice, and leads workshops that explore the connection between spirituality and psychology. In her private psychotherapy and spiritual direction practice, she works with both individuals and groups. A founder of one of California’s first shelters for victims of Domestic Violence, she has worked as a Hospice Chaplain and co-founded a training program for Jewish Spiritual Directors. Currently, she is Professor of Ritual and Spiritual Development at the Academy for Jewish Religion, California. Anne’s work is enriched by her own experiences with loss and personal growth, her belief in the healing power of ritual, and her professional skills in psychotherapy, communications, and community organization. Ordained a rabbi in 2008 by Hebrew Union College–Jewish Institute of Religion, Los Angeles, she holds graduate degrees in the fields of Communications, Social Work, Jewish Communal Service, and Hebrew Letters. Anne grew up in New Orleans and currently lives in Los Angeles.

Table of Contents

Guidelines iii

List of Exercises xv

Preface to the Twenty-fifth Anniversary Edition xix

Kaddish de'Rabbanan: In Appreciation xxiii

Foreword Rabbi Jack Riemer xxvii

Introduction to the Second Edition xxxi

Introduction Rabbi William Cutter xxxv

Preface: My Time to Mourn; My Time to Dance 1

Timeline: The Major Phases of the Jewish Year of Mourning 7

Part I Tzimtzum Contraction

1 Avelut (Mourning): The Mourner's Path 10

2 Hesped (Eulogy) and Truthtelling: Mourning as a Process 20

3 Mekom Hanekhama: Finding a Place of Comfort 32

4 B'tzelim Elohim (In God's Image): Before Covering the Mirror 42

5 The Shekhinah (God's Presence) at the Bedside: Remembering the Illness and the Death 58

6 Aninut (from Death to Burial): Suspended between Two Worlds 72

7 Shiva (First Seven Days of Mourning): A Community Embrace 86

8 Sheloshim (The Thirty Days Following the Burial): Finding Your Footing in a Changed World 113

Part II Shevirat Kelim The Breaking of Vessels

9 Keriah (Tearing of Cloth After Hearing News of the Death) and Deep Feelings: Rending the Garment to Expose the Heart 120

10 Keriah and Kaddish (The Mourners' Prayer): Keeping the Conversation Going to Heal the Hurt 146

11 Keriah and Prayer: Speaking Out from the Distress of Your Soul 164

Part III Tikkun Healing

12 Immortality in Olam Hazeh: Living On in the World of the Living 186

13 Olam Haneshamot: Immortality in the Next World: A Walk through the World of Souls 202

14 Matzevah (Monument or Tombstone): The Unveiling: Raising the Curtain on the Rest of Your Life 216

15 Yizkor (Memorial Prayer), Yahrzeit (Anniversary of the Death), and the Cycle of Seasons 226

16 Shalom: Hello, Goodbye, and Peace 254

17 Those Who Say "Amen": How to Comfort the Bereaved 260

Epilogue: The New Mourner's Path-Navigating the Wilderness of Grief 273

Source Acknowledgments 301

Glossary 304

Books to Consult for Further Help 309

Editorial Reviews

“A stunning book! It offers an exploration in depth of the place where psychology and religious ritual intersect, and the name of that place is Truth.”—Harold Kushner, author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People

“Enthusiastically recommended as a valuable discussion of a universal experience.”—Publishers Weekly

“In this new edition of her classic Mourning and Mitzvah Rabbi Anne Brener moves through the Jewish traditions of mourning and then expands them in a widening circle, to teach us how to be with all of our losses. I can’t imagine a companion more wise, more learned and more gifted with compassion and understanding than the voice of Anne Brener coming through this book, a voice that walks with us through the garden of life and leads us into the circle of mourners we all must join.”—Rodger Kamenetz, author of The Jew in the Lotus and The History of Last Night’s Dream

“Sensitive and deeply learned, Rabbi Anne Brener creatively integrates wisdom and metaphors derived from the Bible, the Jewish mystical tradition, psychotherapy, and her own life to provide guidance and support to those who struggle with the pain and sadness engendered by the death of a loved one. In this 25th anniversary edition of Mourning and Mitzvah, the beauty and kindness as well as the knowledge and learning of Rabbi Brener shines forth and offers comfort and patience to those who are bereaved as they engage in the lengthy processes of mourning. Mourning and Mitzvah remains an ever-more remarkable spiritual treasure.—Rabbi David Ellenson, Chancellor Emeritus of Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion and Director of the Schusterman Center for Israel Studies at Brandeis University

“This book is marvelous. It is a work that I wish I had written. It is the best book on this subject that I have ever seen.”—Rabbi Levi Meier, Ph.D. z”l, former Chaplain, Cedars-Sinai Medical Center; author, Ancient Secrets: Using the Stories of the Bible to Improve Our Everyday Lives

“The best guide I know for the inner work of mourning.” —Rabbi Zalman M. Schachter-Shalomi z”l

“Creates the potential for bringing Judaism to those in need, and if we are truly fortunate, it may bring those in need to Judaism.”—Arnold R. Saltzman, former CEO, Mount Sinai Memorial Park and Mortuary, Los Angeles

“As a rabbi who must deal on a daily basis with aspects of mourning, there are few books that I can turn to for guidance, let alone suggest to be read by those I am comforting.... I am unaware of a book that is as helpful or as complete.... Bridges the gap between Judaism and psychology.... Underscores the wisdom of the Jewish tradition and its understanding of the process of healing.”—Rabbi Arthur Gross Schaefer

“A splendid resource for readers of any philosophical persuasion.”



—The Millennium Whole Earth Catalog

Testimonials

“I gobbled this up and feel breathless! My experience has been named and connected to the texts of our tradition!”—Debra Linesch, PhD, Chair, Graduate Department of Marital and Family Therapy, Loyola Marymount University, Los Angeles

“It is a magnificent work and a masterful contribution to all spiritual understanding, not just to mourning and loss but to living. And personally it has been a beautiful exposure to Judaism—a secondary gain or unintended gain perhaps, but not one to be taken lightly.”—Tracey Ellis

“[We] found your addendum profound and beautiful (whether Jewish or not). It takes the reader on a journey of sacred holiness with grace. You looked deeply at the template of grief in a radically new way to rediscover one’s lost humanity at a time of mourning. And as for me, with tears of gratitude I pray I will circle to the left and now enjoy the awe of those Yehudah moments. You bring holiness and love into my world. With tears of gratitude.”—Evelyn Mandel

From the Publisher