My Sister: How One Sibling's Transition Changed Us Both

by Selenis Leyva, Marizol Leyva

Overview

A powerful, honest memoir by two sisters — one a star on Orange Is the New Black, one a trans woman and activist — about transitioning, family, allyship, and the path to self-realization.


When Selenis Leyva's parents adopted a baby into their warm, loving family, Selenis was immediately smitten. The pair were always close; Selenis showered her younger sibling with affection, who in turn looked up to Selenis and followed her everywhere. The siblings realized, almost at the same moment, that the younger of the two was struggling with their identity. As Marizol transitioned and fought to define her identity, Selenis and her family struggled to support her. In My Sister, they narrate their shared journey, challenges, and triumphs.


In alternating chapters, Selenis and Marizol write honestly about the issues of violence, abuse, and discrimination that trans people and women of color—and especially trans women of color—experience daily. And they are open about the messiness and confusion of fully realizing oneself and being properly affirmed by others.


Profoundly moving and instructive, My Sister offers insight into the lives of two siblings learning to be their authentic selves. Ultimately, theirs is a story of hope, one that will resonate with and affirm those in the process of transitioning, watching a loved one transition, and anyone taking control of their gender or sexual identities.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781549157585
Publisher:	Bold Type Books
Publication date:	03/24/2020
Edition description:	Unabridged
Product dimensions:	5.70(w) x 5.50(h) x 1.10(d)

About the Author

Selenis Leyva is an award-winning American actress known for her roles as Gloria Mendoza in the Netflix hit series Orange Is the New Black and as Gabi Cañero in the Disney Plus original Diary of a Female President. In addition to her film and television credits, Selenis is an outspoken activist for LGBTQ+ rights, and often is invited to college campuses to speak on diversity and inclusion. Together with Marizol, she was awarded the Anti-Violence Project’s 2016 Courage Award and the Stonewall Community Foundation’s 2016 Vision Award for inspiring visibility, advocacy, and outspoken support for the transgender community. She has been featured in publications such as the Huffington Post, Time magazine’s Motto, People magazine’s Latina Love Project Series, and Splinter.

Marizol Leyva is a transgender model, cook, and activist from the Bronx. She has been featured in a cooking segment for Telemundo’s Adictivo TV and in publications such as Cosmopolitan, Latina Magazine, Time magazine’s Motto, and People magazine’s Latina Love Project Series. Together with Selenis, she was awarded the Anti-Violence Project’s 2016 Courage Award and the Stonewall Community Foundation’s 2016 Vision Award for inspiring visibility, advocacy, and outspoken support for the transgender community. She lives in New York City.

Table of Contents

Introduction: Selenis 1

Part I Jose 7

Part II Beginnings of a Transition 81

Part III Marizol 155

Epilogue: Marizol 231

Acknowledgments 235

LCBTQ+ Resources for Readers 239

Notes 246

Editorial Reviews

"Selenis and Marizol Leyva have crafted a moving and searingly honest portrait of what it means to lead an authentic life. By turns poignant and anguishing, the story of Marizol's journey as she fights to become who she was always meant to be will capture your imagination, but it is the immutable bond between sisters that, in the end, will break your heart."—Kate Mulgrew, author of How to Forget and Born with Teeth

"The spellbinding fusion of two sisters' fierce voices gives us this groundbreaking memoir about the fight to love and be loved as we are. My Sister is a must read for our fractured era, evoking the power of bridges to knock down the barriers that separate us — from ourselves and one another. It's fast-paced and beautifully real."—Jean Guerrero, Emmy-winning journalist and author of Crux: A Cross-Border Memoir

"Fiercely honest, this book not only chronicles a harrowing journey to self-acceptance; it also celebrates an interpersonal love that transcends the bounds of blood and family. Bold, raw, and courageous."—Kirkus

"[An] unsparingly candid story of one transgender woman's transition."
—Booklist

"Heart-wrenching...What makes My Sister special is not only the way it addresses trans identities with such care — educating readers in a respectful and non-condescending way — but also the way it balances a trans person's journey with the corresponding journey that her family must take to embrace her as she is...An important, informative and captivating read that chronicles two strong women learning to love one another."
—Associated Press

From the Publisher

01/31/2020

Actress Selenis Leyva (Orange Is the New Black), along with sibling Marizol Leyva, tell a special story in alternating chapters about their bond, especially as Marizol struggled with her gender identity. Marizol describes being a young adoptee, always looking up to her sister Selenis. Moving from Marizol's childhood and her unsatisfying relationships to her time as a sex worker, the brief chapters are fast paced yet moving. Selenis relates her support of Marizol's decision to become a trans model and activist, advocating for trans women of color. And though there are struggles and triumphs along the way, the sisters convey them with respect and honesty. For both, the path to success is never straightforward; there are diversions, but their support brings them closer together. VERDICT The love between the Leyva sisters is clear throughout this warmly recommended memoir. Its beautiful, conversational style should resonate with a broad range of readers.—David Azzolina, Univ. of Pennsylvania Libs., Philadelphia

Library Journal

Selenis Leyva, known for her role as inmate Gloria Mendoza in “Orange Is the New Black,” and her younger sister, Marizol Leyva, share their affecting memoir of family and gender identity with listeners. They frame their memoir in three parts, emphasizing the importance of honoring the identities of transgender individuals while recounting Marizol’s story as a transgender woman of color. The sisters' dual perspectives complement each other, providing layered insights into their New York City childhoods, their relationships, and their behaviors. As they alternate the narration, Selenis and Marizol’s affection for each other and closeness are especially evident in their voices when they quote each other. This important production illuminates myriad ways listeners, especially family members, can be there for transgender individuals. J.R.T. © AudioFile 2020, Portland, Maine

MAY 2020 - AudioFile

Selenis Leyva, known for her role as inmate Gloria Mendoza in “Orange Is the New Black,” and her younger sister, Marizol Leyva, share their affecting memoir of family and gender identity with listeners. They frame their memoir in three parts, emphasizing the importance of honoring the identities of transgender individuals while recounting Marizol’s story as a transgender woman of color. The sisters' dual perspectives complement each other, providing layered insights into their New York City childhoods, their relationships, and their behaviors. As they alternate the narration, Selenis and Marizol’s affection for each other and closeness are especially evident in their voices when they quote each other. This important production illuminates myriad ways listeners, especially family members, can be there for transgender individuals. J.R.T. © AudioFile 2020, Portland, Maine

MAY 2020 - AudioFile

2019-12-22
An award-winning TV actress and her trans sister tell the story of how they learned to navigate the difficult, often troubled waters of gender transition.

A year after Selenis' mother and father became foster parents, they took in—and later adopted—a child named Jose. Immediately, Selenis noticed he was different. As a baby, "his cry was desperate," as though he was already "struggl[ing] with his existence." In a three-part narrative that moves between Selenis and her adopted sibling, the pair offer an intimate, often moving account of their journey toward loving acceptance of each other. Part I deals with the years before that sibling's transition into Marizol. Using masculine pronouns and Marizol's male deadname, Selenis recalls how Jose loved to play with hair and makeup. Despite Selenis' support, he still faced pressure from his adopted family to conform to a masculine gender identity. Seeking answers and support from social media and elsewhere, Jose first identified as gay before coming out to Selenis. But a question she posed—"did [he] want to be a woman?"—catapulted Jose into the period of transition and self-acceptance, which the authors cover in parts II and III. Moving beyond the confines of his Bronx Latinx community, contact with other trans individuals proved liberating. However, transitioning into Marizol meant facing often painful, sometimes dangerous circumstances. In and out of Selenis' life, Marizol turned to sex work to support herself and later experienced abuse at the hands of a sadistic boyfriend. Meanwhile, Selenis' work as a TV actress (most notably on Orange Is the New Black) brought her into contact with trans actor and activist Laverne Cox, who helped her better understand Marizol's struggles. Determined to help her sister, Selenis brought her sister to a New York LGBTQ center where Marizol could safely come into her own. Fiercely honest, this book not only chronicles a harrowing journey to self-acceptance; it also celebrates an interpersonal love that transcends the bounds of blood and family.

Bold, raw, and courageous.

Kirkus Reviews